saweet
Best day I've had in a LONG damn while.
and best of all.. i was myself.
I am pumped for canada this weekend!
Classes are almost done for the first half of summer
Im SUPER happy with the profs that I have next fall
My friends are AMAZING. I've missed Di SO much and I got to spend all day with her today. This Wednesday we're laying out and then Thursday Jackies coming into town and we're going out forher bday then Friday is CANADA and saturday im doing games with kids at work! Plus Melanie ann comes back that day and so does Pandy. That boy seriously evokes so many emotions.. all good except i have to admit im kinda bummed that he's not looking for a relationship right now.. I know we've both changed tremendously over the past couple of years but whenever I'm with him something just clicks.. oh well I love hanging with him as a friend too.. it would just be nice to know what page he's on.
Cora and Jessica are going to be AMAZING to room with next year
Im going to Cedar Lodge to see everyone sometime soon and I'm staying with Shannon!
Matt called me a couple times in the past week
Nathaniel is coming home in a week and that means confusion all over again.
Alison and I hung tonight (while Di slept) and that girl cracks me up like no other... it's a shame ive kinda torn that friendship to shreds, but tonight gave me a glimps of hope that maybe one day i can gain her trust and respect again cause to be quite honest, that girl is amazing deep down.. truly one of a kind and I'm really lucky to know her.
I think I've finally found one or two christian organizations to try out next fall with Wren which is probably the most exciting discovery yet
Lately I've had this renewed sense of hope about going back to school.. a really good attitude towards it and to be quite honest, I'm planning on re evaluating a lot of the friendships I had last year and hoping to start fresh. I've never been so miserable as I was last year and that is in large fault to myself and those i chose to surround myself with.
I know what I'm worth, and I know there are people out there who bring out an amazing side of me.. but for some reason last year.. ALL last year.. I chose to surround myself with people who brought out a side of me that was entertaining to them, but so demoralizing and belittling to me and my potential. Grantide, I acted the way I did out of self will, but the people I choose to be friends with last year really didn't.. and don't see my worth. They don't treat me like a true friend.. this has created a lot of really hurt feelings and anger.. but honestly.. in college you either grow up or you dont. Last year I didnt grow up. I acted immaturely and selfishly. This year I'm turning over a new leaf... instead of partying every weekend i hope i can find a good group of friends to do volunteer work with, because honestly.. that is who i am.. who i've always been.. and even up until recently Ive been ashamed of that side of me in front of some of my friends. I feel like in order to be accepted i have to talk about someone behind their back.. and ive finally figured out that it is THAT part of me that I need to be ashamed of and work on. Sure, partying is fun, but its not something i want to consume my life. And honestly, Ive finally figured out that who I want to be is something I should be proud of.
I have to start being the person I envision myself being at some point or another.. why not start now?
What better way to do that then to re evaluate those who affect me most.. my friends..
lucky for me, I have some pretty darn amazing ones.
and best of all.. i was myself.
I am pumped for canada this weekend!
Classes are almost done for the first half of summer
Im SUPER happy with the profs that I have next fall
My friends are AMAZING. I've missed Di SO much and I got to spend all day with her today. This Wednesday we're laying out and then Thursday Jackies coming into town and we're going out forher bday then Friday is CANADA and saturday im doing games with kids at work! Plus Melanie ann comes back that day and so does Pandy. That boy seriously evokes so many emotions.. all good except i have to admit im kinda bummed that he's not looking for a relationship right now.. I know we've both changed tremendously over the past couple of years but whenever I'm with him something just clicks.. oh well I love hanging with him as a friend too.. it would just be nice to know what page he's on.
Cora and Jessica are going to be AMAZING to room with next year
Im going to Cedar Lodge to see everyone sometime soon and I'm staying with Shannon!
Matt called me a couple times in the past week
Nathaniel is coming home in a week and that means confusion all over again.
Alison and I hung tonight (while Di slept) and that girl cracks me up like no other... it's a shame ive kinda torn that friendship to shreds, but tonight gave me a glimps of hope that maybe one day i can gain her trust and respect again cause to be quite honest, that girl is amazing deep down.. truly one of a kind and I'm really lucky to know her.
I think I've finally found one or two christian organizations to try out next fall with Wren which is probably the most exciting discovery yet
Lately I've had this renewed sense of hope about going back to school.. a really good attitude towards it and to be quite honest, I'm planning on re evaluating a lot of the friendships I had last year and hoping to start fresh. I've never been so miserable as I was last year and that is in large fault to myself and those i chose to surround myself with.
I know what I'm worth, and I know there are people out there who bring out an amazing side of me.. but for some reason last year.. ALL last year.. I chose to surround myself with people who brought out a side of me that was entertaining to them, but so demoralizing and belittling to me and my potential. Grantide, I acted the way I did out of self will, but the people I choose to be friends with last year really didn't.. and don't see my worth. They don't treat me like a true friend.. this has created a lot of really hurt feelings and anger.. but honestly.. in college you either grow up or you dont. Last year I didnt grow up. I acted immaturely and selfishly. This year I'm turning over a new leaf... instead of partying every weekend i hope i can find a good group of friends to do volunteer work with, because honestly.. that is who i am.. who i've always been.. and even up until recently Ive been ashamed of that side of me in front of some of my friends. I feel like in order to be accepted i have to talk about someone behind their back.. and ive finally figured out that it is THAT part of me that I need to be ashamed of and work on. Sure, partying is fun, but its not something i want to consume my life. And honestly, Ive finally figured out that who I want to be is something I should be proud of.
I have to start being the person I envision myself being at some point or another.. why not start now?
What better way to do that then to re evaluate those who affect me most.. my friends..
lucky for me, I have some pretty darn amazing ones.