(no subject)
I keep re-writing this entry, because frankly, I don't even know if I should write it. There's a lot going on inside me that I don't think I really want to tell anyone - some of it positive, most of it not. Then the question arises: if you don't want people to know, why are you writing? I'm not sure, but I feel like I need a release, an outlet, something to vent on.
But what is there is vent on, exactly? As far as anyone can tell, I seem fine, and everything is as it should be, or is in the process of getting there. There's a reason why I keep this hidden - it's because I find it so petty and selfish I don't want to bring it to light, but it still doesn't go away. All I want is to be content with the world as it is - to let things be, and to nod my head in assent that this is the way things should be. But I don't see it - what I want will destroy all the good I'm been working towards - even though in the midst of the good I'm perpetuating, inside I've been slowly chipping away. So I put on a brave face, and no one knows any better.
#4 baby
But what is there is vent on, exactly? As far as anyone can tell, I seem fine, and everything is as it should be, or is in the process of getting there. There's a reason why I keep this hidden - it's because I find it so petty and selfish I don't want to bring it to light, but it still doesn't go away. All I want is to be content with the world as it is - to let things be, and to nod my head in assent that this is the way things should be. But I don't see it - what I want will destroy all the good I'm been working towards - even though in the midst of the good I'm perpetuating, inside I've been slowly chipping away. So I put on a brave face, and no one knows any better.
#4 baby