i once wrote a poem called dichotomy.
and right now i am sitting here, staring at my buddylist, being upset that i am too afraid to tak to someone who (like everybody who i get attached to eventually does) left suddenly and for no reason.
and a quote comes to mind.
"while i was believing that you were different and that you maybe even felt the distress that sometimes flickered across your face and threatened to erupt, you were covering your arse too. like every other stupid mortal cunt.
to my mind that's betrayal. and my mind is the subject of these bewildered fragments.
nothing can extinguish my anger.
and nothing can restore my faith."-4.48 psychosis by sarah kane.
matt. boy who is not a boy.tricked me into relaxing, feeling something constant under my feet. then abandoned me in this life that is not a life.
and i know that he didnt just abandon me, he abandoned a lot of us. and it wasnt supposed to be a complete cut-off, i just made it that way becasue i was upset. still upset. i live in the past, keep a close list of the wrong people have done to me and pretend like i dont care.
i only dont care if youre still around afterwards!
if i know that i occasionally cross you mind. but if i know youve forgotten me completely, i am upset.
i have to go take a shower.
and a quote comes to mind.
"while i was believing that you were different and that you maybe even felt the distress that sometimes flickered across your face and threatened to erupt, you were covering your arse too. like every other stupid mortal cunt.
to my mind that's betrayal. and my mind is the subject of these bewildered fragments.
nothing can extinguish my anger.
and nothing can restore my faith."-4.48 psychosis by sarah kane.
matt. boy who is not a boy.tricked me into relaxing, feeling something constant under my feet. then abandoned me in this life that is not a life.
and i know that he didnt just abandon me, he abandoned a lot of us. and it wasnt supposed to be a complete cut-off, i just made it that way becasue i was upset. still upset. i live in the past, keep a close list of the wrong people have done to me and pretend like i dont care.
i only dont care if youre still around afterwards!
if i know that i occasionally cross you mind. but if i know youve forgotten me completely, i am upset.
i have to go take a shower.