I Don't Know (Damon/Elena)

[upupa_epops]

Title: I Don't Know
Rating: PG-13
For: Nat, who demanded “Elena's head at the beginning of 4x08” (I actually ended up setting the story between 4x07 and 4x08)
Characters/Pairings: Damon/Elena
Spoilers: 4x08. I'm working under the assumption that the sire bond doesn't exist.
Wordcount: 700
Summary: Elena feels calm.
A/N: This was supposed to be a

Comments

[verushka70]

I wandered over here from PB XIV but I've read your stuff before and I'm with you -- in fic (if not in canon, grrr) I want the assumption to be that the sire bond doesn't exist because wtf, WHY did they have to do that to either of them? It undermines/invalidates Elena's stated feelings for Damon whenever she states them (Bourbon Street notwithstanding, the sire bond is over emphasized by Caroline/Stefan et al, and the Nawleans witch/Tyler's statements are de-emphasized/omitted, grrr.). Plus it has injected serious doubts for Damon...ugh, it just makes me really mad. And Elena's agency - I won't even get started, it'll just be a rant. Summary: Elena's agency shouldn't have been compromised that way, Damon deserves better than a sire-bonded/invalidated Elena love, and she deserves to love him the way she started to: naturally, feelings bubbling up and making themselves known with their incredible chemistry lighting the match to their sex (which I get the chemistry is IS's and ND's chemistry, but, handwave).

So I really love that your assumption=no sire bond (thank you!), and I love the tentativeness and tenderness in this, and the fact that Damon will take her any way she is at any given moment because that's who he fell in love with. I love how you have him take his cues from her because I've long suspected Damon was/is at core, or was originally before Katherine (and probably *with* Katherine, 'til she ripped his heart out) sensitive and giving in relationships, and that all his bravado and callousness is armor built to protect himself from being totally taken advantage of/used(/abused, by Katherine, which is a whole 'nother world I've constructed in my head where Damon's submissive, Katherine's dominant, and it gets rather bdsm, but never mind that...). Point being simply *not* that I think Damon is a born slave or anything like that, but that he was, once-upon-a-time, just as (or more) sensitive and giving as Stefan, but RL as he experienced it made him harder and pricklier than he was born. Elena softens him, not by making him weak or anything, but giving him space to show those other parts of himself that he buried probably long ago. And she can learn from him to have some sense of self preservation and some swagger, and have some happiness and fun with the man who let's her be who she IS, whatever it is at the moment. I think this little fic kind of conveys all that. So. Yay. Good stuff.

[upupa_epops]

Oh, but I totally agree, Damon does have a tendency to be sexually submissive (and I'm not even talking about D/s relationships; he simply enjoys following more than he enjoys leading), and there's nothing wrong with that. The way I explain this to myself is that from a very young age he had a lot of responsibility and expectations put on him, and it created a lot of tension. So no wonder than in activities that are supposed to be relaxing (for example sex) he'd enjoy simply giving in to someone, giving up the control he's supposed to have in other areas of life. On top of that, I think that Damon deeply enjoys the idea of being wanted by a woman he loves -- not just having her, but also being genuinely wanted by her. Which is another reason why he's attracted to sexually assertive, dominant women, like Katherine or Elena: he likes the fact that he can't make them do anything, so if they're with him, it's because they WANT him. He understands their assertive behavior as genuine desire, and that turns him on.

Thank you for your comment and all your thoughts <3333. More often than not I write to express how I understand the characters, so it's always fun when a fic prompts a discussion about the characters in canon.

[verushka70]

Absolutely. Damon wants (maybe even needs, after Katherine) to be wanted. I think, for him, the intimacy and vulnerability of being truly wanted for who he is, and the eroticism of being truly desired, is thrilling, maybe even healing. After all, being submissive sometimes entails being totally receptive, being the beloved. And I think some core part of him needs that; don't think he's gotten enough of that in his life. Maybe that's one reason I hate the cheat of the sire bond. (Also 'cause it just seemed like a convenient and artificial deus ex machina to keep them apart.)

[upupa_epops]

I also have other reasons to dislike the sire bond that are even more important for me, but I totally agree with your reading of Damon. He doesn't want to have, he wants to be wanted.