Elena Gilbert Appreciation Week timetable can be found here:
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Elena Gilbert Appreciation Week, Day Five (Nov. 9) - Sexy Friday: in celebration of women’s (and Elena’s) sexuality, up the ante and make everything Elena-related as sexy and sex-oriented as you like! Apparently Sexy Friday happens on Sunday now. Whatever. Embrace it
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Yeah, virgin/whore becoming girlfriend/slut makes me want to re-examine how the show treats Elena, because I do feel like she's held to certain good girlfriend standards. It's all so wrapped up in her sense of self, how she's Elena who dates Stefan and Stefan's the one getting her through this vampire crap -- when arguably he's been the biggest obstacle? and the least directly helpful compared to Damon, Caroline, Matt.
Plus, with Stefan wanting Elena human, there's these expectations about her obviously having children. Hmmm. So maybe we've exchanged the virgin/whore dichotomy for a modern take on the 'you're not a woman till you're a wife' attitude (see: Emily Dickinson's poetry). Which is interesting to consider in terms of Elena's growing-up narrative -- that she's still discovering who she's going to be. Stefan seems very attached to this normative future for Elena and he's so invested in her ~not being like Katherine (whose unapologetic sexuality and self-gratification are the anti-wife script).
But, tentatively, I think the show doesn't approve of Stefan's behavior in this regard, though it varies depending on the episode. If anything, I think the show has created a nonjudgmental narrative space for Elena to explore these questions of sexuality and identity and gender expectations, where domineering patriarchal forces threaten her and she suffers, but the narrative frames this as abominable. And she also has internalized this so much that she punishes herself -- and the answer, the key to her freedom, still seems to lie in her taking hold of her self-determination, autonomy, agency, subjectivity. Which is why I got so excited by her forcibly taking control in "The Killer" and shouting out her feelings, murderous or remorseful. And I'm excited for the ~cure being writ on Jeremy because she just claimed him as hers too (and he's her walking-talking novel in a way, Jeremy's the novel Elena enlists others to write the way she wishes, so he lives out the subjective reality she chooses #fucked up but interesting).
Okay, and clearly I could talk about this more! ;-)
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Hmm, I would (carefully) say that even if we take girlfriend/slut instead of virgin/whore, Elena still breaks out of the dichotomy, because she doesn't have to repent in any way for what she does with Damon. She almost jumps his bones in 3x19, and there're no consequences. And the 4x02 bloodsharing? Elena knows all too well that it would have strong sexual undertones, she does it anyway (Stefan assumes she didn't know, it probably makes him feel better). Of course there is a shitload of shame-related and identity-related issues in D/E, but I'd say that, judging from the general tone of the show, the narrative doesn't condemn Elena for desiring Damon. We even have Katherine offhandedly stating "It's okay to love them both" and it's not framed as some evil Elena is opposed to.
I guess my reading comes from my belief that the show is actively deconstructing the good doppelganger/bad doppelganger dichotomy and playing with the Good Girl construct. We start with a binary opposition in early s1, but they things get interesting. I mean, what's the function of human!Katherine flashbacks if not to show that Katherine is not evil incarnated?
I totally agree that Stefan represents the traditional, normative understanding of Madonna/Whore, and I'd say that in s4 it's pretty clear that he's framed as wrong. We'll have to see how the whole "cure" plotline plays out to be sure, but for now, I'd say that both virgin/whore and girlfriend/slut go to hell when it comes to Elena.
By all means, don't restrain yourself. I'm trying to read Heart of Darkness, and it's so Emerson, the way he reveals his soul with so many adjectives... You're the most delightful distraction :D.
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