(no subject)
this week SUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKS.
i'm feeling the pains of finals despite not taking them.
because i'm not taking them.
go fucking figure.
i've been binging on fast food, sleeping strange hours, writing like crazy, and needing to go on drives to cure stress.
i made a mix cd of fast songs and drove around for an hour going 60 mph. just got back. i feel a lot better, that's for sure. but still cranky, pissed at the world, pissed at myself, crazy, depressed, and a whole lovely list of emotions!
the next person to tell me that i need to be patient is going to get bitchslapped.
i've got patience pouring out my ass.
wouldn't it be awesome if i was somehow living this half-life here, and actually like in Fight Club and still in school and doing shit and not aware of it?
granted that would make me more fucked up and diseased then I am. but still.
at least i'd be in school.
i am what happens when two professors mate.
i worked my ass off to go to a college i no longer really want to go to.
the only professor i actually liked won't even be there if i go back.
i loved professor gorfinkel. i would have run away and had her babies if she asked.
if i transfer anywhere else i will probably have to take another two years of school.
plus i don't know where i'd want to go.
i feel like i'm banging my head against a wall.
i feel like saying "i want to go home" when i don't consider anywhere my home.
i am going crazy, in my head, and ranting to people who are not really there.
maybe i'm manic depressive?
maybe i'm picking up on finals energy from people i'm not even talking to?
maybe this bullshit will end on friday just like everyone's exams.
who the fuck knows.
i need to make myself go to bed so i can get up and drive for an hour to a job i hate.
WEE!
i'm feeling the pains of finals despite not taking them.
because i'm not taking them.
go fucking figure.
i've been binging on fast food, sleeping strange hours, writing like crazy, and needing to go on drives to cure stress.
i made a mix cd of fast songs and drove around for an hour going 60 mph. just got back. i feel a lot better, that's for sure. but still cranky, pissed at the world, pissed at myself, crazy, depressed, and a whole lovely list of emotions!
the next person to tell me that i need to be patient is going to get bitchslapped.
i've got patience pouring out my ass.
wouldn't it be awesome if i was somehow living this half-life here, and actually like in Fight Club and still in school and doing shit and not aware of it?
granted that would make me more fucked up and diseased then I am. but still.
at least i'd be in school.
i am what happens when two professors mate.
i worked my ass off to go to a college i no longer really want to go to.
the only professor i actually liked won't even be there if i go back.
i loved professor gorfinkel. i would have run away and had her babies if she asked.
if i transfer anywhere else i will probably have to take another two years of school.
plus i don't know where i'd want to go.
i feel like i'm banging my head against a wall.
i feel like saying "i want to go home" when i don't consider anywhere my home.
i am going crazy, in my head, and ranting to people who are not really there.
maybe i'm manic depressive?
maybe i'm picking up on finals energy from people i'm not even talking to?
maybe this bullshit will end on friday just like everyone's exams.
who the fuck knows.
i need to make myself go to bed so i can get up and drive for an hour to a job i hate.
WEE!