A censorship first
Well, if you've been in a cave for the last month, you may have missed the whole shitstorm over the oh so fun game "San Andreas". The ESRB blew an O-Ring when they found out there was some code that allowed PCs and NPCs to interact sexually in a minigame. Jokingly called "hot coffee", I'd imagine it was an inside joke by the code monkeys, and was actually ment to not be seen. Someone found the "hacks" to get this on both PC and PS2. The ESRB has recalled their rating of SA, rerated it to adults only, and has demanded stores stop selling this title until it can be re-released as Mature. A sensible thing, one might think. WRONG.
First off, go search google for "San Andreas hot coffee Video" You'll see the offending clip, a moral outrage to all with any sense of common denency. Carl, the PC, is dryhumping a naked woman. If you've seen the graphics SA is capable of, it's not impressive,the most offensive part is pink and two brown dots for nipples, and some moaning. Not exactly what a three year old should be seeing, but the uproar this has caused is AFUCKINGMAZING. There are people screaming about how rockstar should be shutdown, and how it's degrading the moral fibre of the country. Because of badly rendered nipples. *Tomb Raider anyone?* Now the moaning, was part of the unmodded game. They basically did everything to say "THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING, NOISILY" without showing much. There was even a dominatrix scene, where Carl says, "Be good and I'll beat you again", or something along those lines. Is the ESRB giving games a gimmie for actually requiring imagination to figure out that "THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING, NOISILY." ?
I'm firmly of the belief that the parents of children should actually get off their lazy asses, take a good look at what junior is taking in for amusement, and dope slap the fucker if he's outta line. Do we desprately need a quasi-governmental agency to show us what is right and wrong? At what point did we as a common people go "ah, fuck it, let's not actually think anymore." Lets hand wave aside the whole arguments about cartoon/video game violence leading to real violence, as that's for another day, but SA sales have skyrocketed. Check out Ebay. Rockstars stock more than likely has went up. FREE PUBLICITY. LOTS OF IT. That's all the ESRB gave them, and for the wrong bloody reasons.
You wanna hate SA, do it because it shows a corrupt government, from crooked cops to CIA agents working with Chinese Mafiasos. Hate it because it shows most of the black characters as idiotic "gangstas". Hate it because it shows maybe two black police officers, one of them aforementioned crooked cop. Hate it because the PC, Carl, is such a bloody stereotype that hooking up a turbine MLK Jrs grave could power all of vegas for a month, it's spinning so fast.
Don't go absolutely batshit over some shitty graphics of a pair of tits.
First off, go search google for "San Andreas hot coffee Video" You'll see the offending clip, a moral outrage to all with any sense of common denency. Carl, the PC, is dryhumping a naked woman. If you've seen the graphics SA is capable of, it's not impressive,the most offensive part is pink and two brown dots for nipples, and some moaning. Not exactly what a three year old should be seeing, but the uproar this has caused is AFUCKINGMAZING. There are people screaming about how rockstar should be shutdown, and how it's degrading the moral fibre of the country. Because of badly rendered nipples. *Tomb Raider anyone?* Now the moaning, was part of the unmodded game. They basically did everything to say "THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING, NOISILY" without showing much. There was even a dominatrix scene, where Carl says, "Be good and I'll beat you again", or something along those lines. Is the ESRB giving games a gimmie for actually requiring imagination to figure out that "THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING, NOISILY." ?
I'm firmly of the belief that the parents of children should actually get off their lazy asses, take a good look at what junior is taking in for amusement, and dope slap the fucker if he's outta line. Do we desprately need a quasi-governmental agency to show us what is right and wrong? At what point did we as a common people go "ah, fuck it, let's not actually think anymore." Lets hand wave aside the whole arguments about cartoon/video game violence leading to real violence, as that's for another day, but SA sales have skyrocketed. Check out Ebay. Rockstars stock more than likely has went up. FREE PUBLICITY. LOTS OF IT. That's all the ESRB gave them, and for the wrong bloody reasons.
You wanna hate SA, do it because it shows a corrupt government, from crooked cops to CIA agents working with Chinese Mafiasos. Hate it because it shows most of the black characters as idiotic "gangstas". Hate it because it shows maybe two black police officers, one of them aforementioned crooked cop. Hate it because the PC, Carl, is such a bloody stereotype that hooking up a turbine MLK Jrs grave could power all of vegas for a month, it's spinning so fast.
Don't go absolutely batshit over some shitty graphics of a pair of tits.