(no subject)
i decided while riding the train home that i'm going to quit smoking. i only have one cigarette left, and i want it to be the last one. i've made smoking into such a big part of my life, it's ridiculous. you know those commercials with the people trying to do simple things like drinking coffee or driving without cigarettes, and they can't do it?
that's me. when i wake up, i have to have a cigarette.
when i leave the house, i have to have one.
when i get in a car.
after i eat.
when i drink coffee.
when i'm angry.
when i'm sad.
when i'm having fun.
every daily life experience i have, i feel like a need to smoke.
and why?
i mean, shit, i quit drinking, smoking pot, and doing other drugs.
why should this be any different?
even with drugs and alcohol out of my life, there's still this BIG addiction left. i'm already addicted to so many other things besides cigarettes. one less addiction would be better. plus, being in the bay area, they're EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. (although, i did find a place where i can get pall malls for $3.09, but that's still what it costs me to get to school and back for one day.)
i feel really bad for molly. she's my roommate, and we spend a shitload of time together. i am going to be crabby, and sad, for at least two weeks i'm thinking. i don't want to put her through this, but i've got to. i can do this. i can quit. i can do anything i set my mind to. right?
that's me. when i wake up, i have to have a cigarette.
when i leave the house, i have to have one.
when i get in a car.
after i eat.
when i drink coffee.
when i'm angry.
when i'm sad.
when i'm having fun.
every daily life experience i have, i feel like a need to smoke.
and why?
i mean, shit, i quit drinking, smoking pot, and doing other drugs.
why should this be any different?
even with drugs and alcohol out of my life, there's still this BIG addiction left. i'm already addicted to so many other things besides cigarettes. one less addiction would be better. plus, being in the bay area, they're EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. (although, i did find a place where i can get pall malls for $3.09, but that's still what it costs me to get to school and back for one day.)
i feel really bad for molly. she's my roommate, and we spend a shitload of time together. i am going to be crabby, and sad, for at least two weeks i'm thinking. i don't want to put her through this, but i've got to. i can do this. i can quit. i can do anything i set my mind to. right?