an emptiness
years can't prepare the heart for what life deals sometimes; this, i know. i have learned, there is no one way to decipher or capitulate the flips and twists of my own heart. clarity, i see now, does not form before me as i grow; nor do i see with a wiser eye than yesterday...i only see more: less tangible, yet more layered. though my heart continues its restless path, my tongue shifts less and my eyes gloss over from moment to fleeting moment. when did i last laugh without a trace of sadness leering behind the threshold of my thoughts?
now, as i sit with my thoughts and regrets of memories and losses i've learned to tuck away, there is emptiness. not the sort of void one would wish to fill, but a space i intend to leave open...for you? for nothing? regardless, it is there for my comfort and acknowledgment when i see fit.
i am heartbroken.