this is pretty much the worst livejournal ever made.
well i'm totally used to myspace by now
so this may prove to be a challenge.
&&&anonymous letters are the best remedy....
~***~
dear you,
i know you can't help the way you are. and i wouldn't want you any other way. it hasn't gotten easier like the t.v. says, this hurts more each day. i feel so empty inside. yours is the face i always look for, even if there's no way you could be wherever i am. and you are the one i wish i could talk to...but things have changed. i doubt, however, that i am in love with you. i think i am in love with the memory of a feeling you used to bring me. and that is worse. unrequited love may be a terrible thing, but at least for those people there is hope -- for me there is none. because how can a memory love you back? no matter how long i wait, how hard i try, or what i do...i will always be loving yet unloved. i know this isn't real, and that one day i will find somebody who makes it real...but until then i see your face before i fall asleep and i hate every love song that plays on the radio. i hate that you are so happy now. but i'm glad for you. one day i'll find somebody i can be happy with and open up to and care about. it's not your fault i can't care about anybody....that was even before you. what made you so special was that i DID care -- and i still do. i wish things were like how they were before. i spend most of my alone time *which i try to avoid now thesedays* either thinking of you, wishing that it was how it once was, and hoping against all odds that the future will bring me somebody to make me happy.
you've changed. so have i. i guess this wasn't the real-ever-lasting type of love because we changed but not together. we changed into people who don't fit together. but i still care for you. and this memory i'm pathetically holding on to so desperately like the famished to a scrap of food. i feel as though it's all i have, all you've left me with. and it is to sustain me until i fall again. i hope i fall again. harder and faster and truer and deeper and better.
*some kind of* love,
jess.
so this may prove to be a challenge.
&&&anonymous letters are the best remedy....
~***~
dear you,
i know you can't help the way you are. and i wouldn't want you any other way. it hasn't gotten easier like the t.v. says, this hurts more each day. i feel so empty inside. yours is the face i always look for, even if there's no way you could be wherever i am. and you are the one i wish i could talk to...but things have changed. i doubt, however, that i am in love with you. i think i am in love with the memory of a feeling you used to bring me. and that is worse. unrequited love may be a terrible thing, but at least for those people there is hope -- for me there is none. because how can a memory love you back? no matter how long i wait, how hard i try, or what i do...i will always be loving yet unloved. i know this isn't real, and that one day i will find somebody who makes it real...but until then i see your face before i fall asleep and i hate every love song that plays on the radio. i hate that you are so happy now. but i'm glad for you. one day i'll find somebody i can be happy with and open up to and care about. it's not your fault i can't care about anybody....that was even before you. what made you so special was that i DID care -- and i still do. i wish things were like how they were before. i spend most of my alone time *which i try to avoid now thesedays* either thinking of you, wishing that it was how it once was, and hoping against all odds that the future will bring me somebody to make me happy.
you've changed. so have i. i guess this wasn't the real-ever-lasting type of love because we changed but not together. we changed into people who don't fit together. but i still care for you. and this memory i'm pathetically holding on to so desperately like the famished to a scrap of food. i feel as though it's all i have, all you've left me with. and it is to sustain me until i fall again. i hope i fall again. harder and faster and truer and deeper and better.
*some kind of* love,
jess.