i havent felt this way in a while
not fucking fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought it was going to be it this time. it all seemed so right and that it could happen. but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, of course not. andrew cant be happy. and as usual, theres some1 else in the picture. in this case, its some dude who fucking lives in MARYLAND!!! she met him over the russia trip. that was for 1 week. and of course shed rather be w/ him than w/ some1 like me, who is right here waiting. its not fair. how come i always fail when it comes to this stuff???? i thought she liked me, for the 1st time some1 liked me. but i guess not. of course not. no1 can like me. im just the loser who can only be a friend. nothing more. not to ne1, not ever. its fucking pointless. i guess good guys dont get breaks in life. no such thing as karma. cuz i always get fucked and ppl like greg have girls following them, but act like i do cuz they cant be w/ some other girl. its fucking bullshit. i hate it. and its not like i didnt fucking try either. i was trying as hard as i fucking can. but of course, to no avail. today wasnt supposed to be like this. today was supposed to be the day i asked her, and she would say yes, and i would feel like im on top of the world, not like its on top of me, crushing me.