John, Carollynn, and everything else
so much for a great start to the summer. work is blowing dick, no1 is around, and on top of it all, my uncle's best friend john just passed away. it was so sudden. the doctors think it was a heart attack. he was way to nice of a guy for that to happen too. it was surprising, i mean there were no signs or nething. he just passed away. and now im scared. its irrational, i kno, but i keep thinking that im going to lose some1 else now. and im afraid of that. i dont want another person i kno, i care abt, to go too. i kno this sounds so ridiculous, but its how i feel. and if theres 1 person i dont want to lose, its carollynn. i mean im really happy being friends w/ her. idk if she thinks of me as i think of her, but i think that she is 1 of the best friends ive ever had. and as a fool, w/o thinking, i sent her a stupid comment, saying random stuff. well, not exactly random, but the stuff in there is not what i wanted to say. well neway, that probably put a strange look on her face. not the result i was going for. ever since i made that stupid decision to tell her, ive def been digging myself deeper and deeper. i hope that she doesnt think of me ne lower after all of this stuff is said. shes too good of a friend for me to just let go of. and shes going to read this, and prob is going to react in a bad way. this stupid fear im getting is taking over, and idk what to do nemore. i think thats abt it