*Sigh.*
In many ways, I am proud of myself. I have been keeping up my new tradition of spending time reading in the cafe of the local book store, and as a result, I have developed an intense fondness for the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. I've kept busy with my writing, and I have even started a new book. I see it as one that I cannot help but finish, for not only is it something that I know a bit about, but it is a fairly easy topic, as well as one that matters a great deal to me. I have stopped calling Former Boyfriend every two days and have started to call him every three days instead. Oh, and I've learned to be proud of myself to begin with, which is doing wonders for my self esteem. Good for me.
Unfortunately, I am still allowing Former Boyfriend to ring me incessantly. Late last week he called me not once, but twice in one day, and two days ago he called me to ask why I had stopped calling him. He even went as far as to set up a specific time in which I was to telephone him, and even after I called him last night, he contacted me a few minutes later. I seem to be so caught up in accepting any scrap of attention that he sends my way that I am overlooking one important thing: speaking to him on a daily basis is hurting me.
The cycle goes something like this: that particular time of night will roll around, and I will be very proud of myself for not initiating a conversation with him. Suddenly, the telephone will ring, and although I know exactly who it is on the line, I will answer. We'll speak for a half an hour or so, during which time Former Boyfriend will manage to flirt with me just a little. He'll end the conversation, and I'll be left feeling all at once happy and miserable. Repeat and rinse thoroughly.
Even worse, now he's started pushing me to start dating again! He got himself all excited last night when I very briefly mentioned the owner of an independent video store (I will point out here that the context was not a romantic one). He's made other dating references as well.
I know a few things. I know that I will never move on from him if I continue chatting with him every single day, and I might have even mentioned that fact a few times before. I know that if I am going to stay friends with him, I cannot let him continue behaviors that cause me to dislike him. I also know that I have to say something to him very soon, for while he may think that he knows everything, he doesn't know how to read minds. I might start with something as simple as "I will be very busy these next few days, forgive me if I don't have time to talk," or "I know that you mean well, but I will tell you when I am ready to date again." If he persists, I may have to move on to something more complex, like "*^%!!!" or even "$%&^@#!!"
Unfortunately, I am still allowing Former Boyfriend to ring me incessantly. Late last week he called me not once, but twice in one day, and two days ago he called me to ask why I had stopped calling him. He even went as far as to set up a specific time in which I was to telephone him, and even after I called him last night, he contacted me a few minutes later. I seem to be so caught up in accepting any scrap of attention that he sends my way that I am overlooking one important thing: speaking to him on a daily basis is hurting me.
The cycle goes something like this: that particular time of night will roll around, and I will be very proud of myself for not initiating a conversation with him. Suddenly, the telephone will ring, and although I know exactly who it is on the line, I will answer. We'll speak for a half an hour or so, during which time Former Boyfriend will manage to flirt with me just a little. He'll end the conversation, and I'll be left feeling all at once happy and miserable. Repeat and rinse thoroughly.
Even worse, now he's started pushing me to start dating again! He got himself all excited last night when I very briefly mentioned the owner of an independent video store (I will point out here that the context was not a romantic one). He's made other dating references as well.
I know a few things. I know that I will never move on from him if I continue chatting with him every single day, and I might have even mentioned that fact a few times before. I know that if I am going to stay friends with him, I cannot let him continue behaviors that cause me to dislike him. I also know that I have to say something to him very soon, for while he may think that he knows everything, he doesn't know how to read minds. I might start with something as simple as "I will be very busy these next few days, forgive me if I don't have time to talk," or "I know that you mean well, but I will tell you when I am ready to date again." If he persists, I may have to move on to something more complex, like "*^%!!!" or even "$%&^@#!!"