don't say goodnight
Title: don't say goodnight
Pairing: Kai/fem!Kyungsoo
Genre: angst
Length: 835w
Warnings: This was an ask.fm drabble, i have nevvverrrr written fem!soo
Summary: Pearl Harbour!AU - Hope is Kyungsoo's last toxic resort.
Kyungsoo's fingers don't shake.
Jongin laces up his boots as Kyungsoo watches, eyes awash with longing and fear, lips pressed together to keep words of worry from escaping. Her fingers dance slowly across the expanse of her belly - she can feel the life that's growing inside her reach for her fingertips, manages to smile when Jongin's child caresses her hand through the wall of her flesh.
I'll be here with you, mommy
The voice of her unborn child echoes in her mind. Jongin does a final check of the single duffel bag he's allowed to bring to camp - a few necessities, some writing instruments for when he has the time to write to his wife, and a single, unframed photo of Kyungsoo, young and smiling and warm.
The sepia tone of her skin and the muted sparkle in her eyes in the photograph are in stark contrast to the woman sitting in front of Jongin now, worry lining the wrinkles of her face, dissatisfaction hiding in the corners of her lips. Unshed tears paint her eyes a tragic shade of uncertain, and Jongin sighs. Even on the verge of tears, his wife is beautiful.
'I'm coming back, you know,' he ventures to say, kneeling in front of his wife, letting his chin rest in her lap. 'I wouldn't leave our royal highness behind without a knight to protect them.' He rests his palm against the swell of his wife's stomach, lets his thumb draw lazy circles on it, as if trying to get his child to respond.
'You can't promise us that. You can't guarantee that,' says Kyungsoo, and the words fall off her tongue the way a novice trapeze artist does on his second attempt. 'Pearl Harbour... It's a death trap, Jongin. You might as well have been given a ticket to the grave,' she wails, and her hands become a shield for her to hide her face in from her husband. She's supposed to be supportive, supposed to see him off with a smile and a wave, supposed to be the last glimmer of hope he gets before he steps onto the battlefield, where the grounds are littered with hidden mines waiting to blow him to pieces.
She is failing him.
'Don't think that. Don't you ever think that. I'll come back as soon as this war is over - and you and I, we're going to find a nice place to live with our little highness, some place he can run around in, and we're going to have more little highnesses, and this,' - he grasps Kyungsoo's hands between his own, leaning up to kiss away the tears on her cheeks - 'This is the vision I'm keeping as my motivation to come back. I can't... I can't close my eyes forever if my hand isn't wrapped around yours.'
Kyungsoo tries to calm herself down, and Jongin waits silently, giving his wife the time she needs.
(It's time they both know they don't have, but even the poorest man likes to think that he at least has the luxury of the seconds on his side, even right before he steps in front of a moving bus.)
'I love you,' she finally whispers, and Jongin's smile is unsteady when it hugs the corners of his lips.
'I love you too.' he says, brushing his lips gently against his wife's. 'How could I not adore my best girl?' he jokes, and he manages to steal one more laugh from Kyungsoo. He bottles it up like liquid courage, captures the tinkle of her voice for the nights he knows he'll spend awake and lonely.
'You... You should go. The faster you go, the faster you'll come back,' says Kyungsoo, faux bravery fabricating a note of steadiness in her voice. She will not let her husband's last memory of her before he leaves be smudged by her own tears. 'I would tell you I'll miss you, but I'll let you know when you come back.'
'I'd better come back quick, then,' smiles Jongin, and he gets up and picks up his things, heading for the door. He turns around suddenly and draws Kyungsoo towards him to plant a kiss full on her mouth, tasting the sorrow she's left unsaid, trying to let their souls touch one last time before he leaves. When he pulls away she notices that his eyes have gone watery, but she doesn't say anything.
'I.. Goodbye.'
'Goodbye, Soo. I'll be back soon.'
He turns his back on her as he leaves, and Kyungsoo can't help but notice how small her husband looks against the slice of the world that's laid out in front of them. He waves at her one last time, and then she struggles to follow his form with her eyes before it disappears altogether. Anxiety drags its claws against the fragile skin of her chest, pooling in her belly where her unborn child sits.
Will daddy be waiting for me when I come out, mommy?
She closes the door and stares at where her fingers tremble around the unpolished metal of the doorknob.
She can only hope.
Author's Note: hmmmhmmhh i have nothing to show for this week off for easter break hhhmmrggrhhgrh
All I've done was make covers hhahfmsadmasdhrggghhh i thought i was gonna write hhmmhmhrhgh
ask.fm
Pairing: Kai/fem!Kyungsoo
Genre: angst
Length: 835w
Warnings: This was an ask.fm drabble, i have nevvverrrr written fem!soo
Summary: Pearl Harbour!AU - Hope is Kyungsoo's last toxic resort.
Kyungsoo's fingers don't shake.
Jongin laces up his boots as Kyungsoo watches, eyes awash with longing and fear, lips pressed together to keep words of worry from escaping. Her fingers dance slowly across the expanse of her belly - she can feel the life that's growing inside her reach for her fingertips, manages to smile when Jongin's child caresses her hand through the wall of her flesh.
I'll be here with you, mommy
The voice of her unborn child echoes in her mind. Jongin does a final check of the single duffel bag he's allowed to bring to camp - a few necessities, some writing instruments for when he has the time to write to his wife, and a single, unframed photo of Kyungsoo, young and smiling and warm.
The sepia tone of her skin and the muted sparkle in her eyes in the photograph are in stark contrast to the woman sitting in front of Jongin now, worry lining the wrinkles of her face, dissatisfaction hiding in the corners of her lips. Unshed tears paint her eyes a tragic shade of uncertain, and Jongin sighs. Even on the verge of tears, his wife is beautiful.
'I'm coming back, you know,' he ventures to say, kneeling in front of his wife, letting his chin rest in her lap. 'I wouldn't leave our royal highness behind without a knight to protect them.' He rests his palm against the swell of his wife's stomach, lets his thumb draw lazy circles on it, as if trying to get his child to respond.
'You can't promise us that. You can't guarantee that,' says Kyungsoo, and the words fall off her tongue the way a novice trapeze artist does on his second attempt. 'Pearl Harbour... It's a death trap, Jongin. You might as well have been given a ticket to the grave,' she wails, and her hands become a shield for her to hide her face in from her husband. She's supposed to be supportive, supposed to see him off with a smile and a wave, supposed to be the last glimmer of hope he gets before he steps onto the battlefield, where the grounds are littered with hidden mines waiting to blow him to pieces.
She is failing him.
'Don't think that. Don't you ever think that. I'll come back as soon as this war is over - and you and I, we're going to find a nice place to live with our little highness, some place he can run around in, and we're going to have more little highnesses, and this,' - he grasps Kyungsoo's hands between his own, leaning up to kiss away the tears on her cheeks - 'This is the vision I'm keeping as my motivation to come back. I can't... I can't close my eyes forever if my hand isn't wrapped around yours.'
Kyungsoo tries to calm herself down, and Jongin waits silently, giving his wife the time she needs.
(It's time they both know they don't have, but even the poorest man likes to think that he at least has the luxury of the seconds on his side, even right before he steps in front of a moving bus.)
'I love you,' she finally whispers, and Jongin's smile is unsteady when it hugs the corners of his lips.
'I love you too.' he says, brushing his lips gently against his wife's. 'How could I not adore my best girl?' he jokes, and he manages to steal one more laugh from Kyungsoo. He bottles it up like liquid courage, captures the tinkle of her voice for the nights he knows he'll spend awake and lonely.
'You... You should go. The faster you go, the faster you'll come back,' says Kyungsoo, faux bravery fabricating a note of steadiness in her voice. She will not let her husband's last memory of her before he leaves be smudged by her own tears. 'I would tell you I'll miss you, but I'll let you know when you come back.'
'I'd better come back quick, then,' smiles Jongin, and he gets up and picks up his things, heading for the door. He turns around suddenly and draws Kyungsoo towards him to plant a kiss full on her mouth, tasting the sorrow she's left unsaid, trying to let their souls touch one last time before he leaves. When he pulls away she notices that his eyes have gone watery, but she doesn't say anything.
'I.. Goodbye.'
'Goodbye, Soo. I'll be back soon.'
He turns his back on her as he leaves, and Kyungsoo can't help but notice how small her husband looks against the slice of the world that's laid out in front of them. He waves at her one last time, and then she struggles to follow his form with her eyes before it disappears altogether. Anxiety drags its claws against the fragile skin of her chest, pooling in her belly where her unborn child sits.
Will daddy be waiting for me when I come out, mommy?
She closes the door and stares at where her fingers tremble around the unpolished metal of the doorknob.
She can only hope.
Author's Note: hmmmhmmhh i have nothing to show for this week off for easter break hhhmmrggrhhgrh
All I've done was make covers hhahfmsadmasdhrggghhh i thought i was gonna write hhmmhmhrhgh
ask.fm