(no subject)
ok so right now i am having a fit of
fit?
hmmm
yes, a fit of energy
like...i'm pumped for no reason
well...the reason could be the 9,999,302 hours of sleep i got yesterday and last night
could be
which is beautiful
considering all the stress i am trying to SUPPRESS right now
sleep is good
but i have this weird thing that i do at night
when i know i am exhausted and would fall right asleep right away if i would just lay down
well...i CAN'T just lay down
i sit up and do meaningless things
like...make lists of things i have to do
or sit up and watch something dumb on tv
or read livejournals
or eat
when i know that none of these things will do me any good
and all i really need to do is sleep
but i won't let myself
that is weird
what is that!!??
i don't understand people who don't analyze every emotion...every feeling
i mean...everyone does in one way or another i suppose
but i'm talking about like...ok...like yesterday when no one was home and i just sat in the quiet-ness of my teeny little house and smelled the smells of the food my mom had cooked before she left
and wore 2 pairs of socks and sweatpants and a t-shirt
and completely enjoyed that moment
and it reminded me of when i was 12 or 13 or one of those years that are now just one big blur
and i love how something so simple...no, its a BUNCH of simple things...things accumulated...that make you feel a certain way
i love that
and how its starting to feel like halloween...and there is no other feeling like halloween
at your house...in your neighborhood..seeing the same kids at your door every year...or going to the same doors every year
and this is cheesy and lame
but i like it
and why does Christmas feel nothing like halloween...but they're both wonderful
new feelings are great...but its the ones that you can Re-visit over and over that are the best
those old familiar feelings.......
i hope caitlin comes home soon
she is too good for everyone at State
she is too unique in her opinions and ideas
she is too creative and smart
and she is too accepting of all kinds of ppl
except them...except all the shallow ppl
a mind like hers shouldn't waste away there
don't get me wrong...i'm sure its a great school...but not for her
she needs something different
becuz she is different
and she is gifted gosh darn it!!
i love my sisters
today i went to visit coreen in ann arbor
i miss her so
she is such an adult now
it makes me want to cry sometimes
like...my big sister...
the one who i grew up with and played house with
and who was always in the room next to mine
she is an adult now
and she won't live at home anymore
and she'll have her won Christmas tree pretty soon
and we'll buy her her own ornaments to put on her tree
and that will be awesome
but weird too
weird because...i hate growing up
and i want to live in this little house with my sisters forever and ever
back when everything was perfect
and when everything revolved around what game to play next...
no worries...
fit?
hmmm
yes, a fit of energy
like...i'm pumped for no reason
well...the reason could be the 9,999,302 hours of sleep i got yesterday and last night
could be
which is beautiful
considering all the stress i am trying to SUPPRESS right now
sleep is good
but i have this weird thing that i do at night
when i know i am exhausted and would fall right asleep right away if i would just lay down
well...i CAN'T just lay down
i sit up and do meaningless things
like...make lists of things i have to do
or sit up and watch something dumb on tv
or read livejournals
or eat
when i know that none of these things will do me any good
and all i really need to do is sleep
but i won't let myself
that is weird
what is that!!??
i don't understand people who don't analyze every emotion...every feeling
i mean...everyone does in one way or another i suppose
but i'm talking about like...ok...like yesterday when no one was home and i just sat in the quiet-ness of my teeny little house and smelled the smells of the food my mom had cooked before she left
and wore 2 pairs of socks and sweatpants and a t-shirt
and completely enjoyed that moment
and it reminded me of when i was 12 or 13 or one of those years that are now just one big blur
and i love how something so simple...no, its a BUNCH of simple things...things accumulated...that make you feel a certain way
i love that
and how its starting to feel like halloween...and there is no other feeling like halloween
at your house...in your neighborhood..seeing the same kids at your door every year...or going to the same doors every year
and this is cheesy and lame
but i like it
and why does Christmas feel nothing like halloween...but they're both wonderful
new feelings are great...but its the ones that you can Re-visit over and over that are the best
those old familiar feelings.......
i hope caitlin comes home soon
she is too good for everyone at State
she is too unique in her opinions and ideas
she is too creative and smart
and she is too accepting of all kinds of ppl
except them...except all the shallow ppl
a mind like hers shouldn't waste away there
don't get me wrong...i'm sure its a great school...but not for her
she needs something different
becuz she is different
and she is gifted gosh darn it!!
i love my sisters
today i went to visit coreen in ann arbor
i miss her so
she is such an adult now
it makes me want to cry sometimes
like...my big sister...
the one who i grew up with and played house with
and who was always in the room next to mine
she is an adult now
and she won't live at home anymore
and she'll have her won Christmas tree pretty soon
and we'll buy her her own ornaments to put on her tree
and that will be awesome
but weird too
weird because...i hate growing up
and i want to live in this little house with my sisters forever and ever
back when everything was perfect
and when everything revolved around what game to play next...
no worries...