001 // she's a professional

[uphissleeve]

Dear Diary

Comments

[longnosedliar]

Maybe being a defender of the helpless can be your side job.

[uphissleeve]

Do you think so? I need a costume!

[longnosedliar]

A costume, huh? Well, I don't know about those newborn clothes, but to be a defender, I figure you need a cape at least.

[uphissleeve]

And a hat! And something shiny like a [thinky] badge or something!

But I don't think I have any super powers. Is that ok?

[longnosedliar]

Well, let's focus on the cape first. That's a little easier than hats.

Sure you have a super power. It's [Loooooooooong dramatic pause.]

[Pause pause ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?]

~in your heart~

[Complete with swirls, fuck yeah.]

Fuck I lolled.

[uphissleeve]

Do you really think so? So maybe I really am a super hero!

\o/

[longnosedliar]

Hey, you could be! But maybe that stuff can wait until you're settled in a little more. Welcome to Edensphere, Thalassa--you can call me Captain Sniper.

[uphissleeve]

Ok Captain Sniper! Are you like a boat captain?

[longnosedliar]

A pirate captain! But I have no boat here.

[uphissleeve]

That's even better than a regular boat captain! I've never met a pirate before! [As far as she can remember. So that makes...one day without meeting a pirate.]

Maybe you can make a boat?

[longnosedliar]

Well now you have! Exciting, isn't it?

Ahh, you see, I would but there's no sea here. All there is is a lake, and the most exciting thing you can do there is fish. Not that fishing isn't fun, it's just not very adventurous.

[uphissleeve]

I don't think I've ever been fishing before.

[longnosedliar]

Really? Everybody should go fishing at least once in their lives. I'll have to show you one day.

[uphissleeve]

Ok! Do we have to go digging for worms first?

[longnosedliar]

That's right! Unless you're squeamish?

[uphissleeve]

No that's ok! Where should we go digging?