(no subject)
Wow,
So i just spent the last hour or so reading some old LJ entries. It's amazing to see how much i've grown in the past few years, grown in so many ways. I'm slowly growing into a woman, and i hope i can become a woman completely for God.
Looking back on significant happenings in my life, i stumble across the day i met Ryan, and how he's changed me so. He's helped me to see the beauty in God, and beauty in myself. He's helped me to accept myself, even if i'm not perfect, and to strive for perfection in other area's of my life.
We've really started to grow together, grow in faith and life. I'm sad my faith and passion for God isn't at it's strongest right now, but i think i've let some area's of my life interfere. I don't want that anymore. I think Ryan will be the one to help me, he always is there to remind me where i come from, and who made me (ie, God). I must admit, i've fallen helplessly in love with that boy. I don't know what i'd do without him, or how i'd go a day without hearing his voice. I love how he knows me completely, inside and out, and still wants me in his life, he still wants to be there forever for me. And i want to be there forever for him. God has been so good to me, i really need to step back and praise God for giving me so much.
on a completely different note, I've been trying to figure out my living situation for fall. I'm signed up to be an RA again, but i feel incompatable with my community, and i don't think that will be beneficial to tutwiler. I always strive to do good where ever i go, or at whatever job i do. My inablility to do that at tut has really brought me down, and i feel it would be better if i gave up my job as an RA. I'm going to ask for a transfer 1 more time, and if it isnt granted, i fear that mean God has other plans for me. I have a strange sense of excitedment though, maybe God wants me to have my own place so i can start a Bible study or something. I know i'd love to have an apartment where i could make meals for people. I LOVE serving my friends and cooking for them. Which is probably why i keep spending loads of money on food for cookouts. I don't really mind, i love seeing how happy people are to have a cooked meal. I just fear having to get a new job and not having the time to spend working with God and other stuff. Anyways...anyone looking for an apartment, i'mm willing to look with you, or at least talk about it.
I suddenly have a strange sense of calming, like God knows what he's doing. Which i should always know is the case. Pray for me though...this is a very hard decision for me. I want to be an RA, but i also want to be happy in my living conditions. God will prevail.
Thank you Jesus for being amazing in my life.
So i just spent the last hour or so reading some old LJ entries. It's amazing to see how much i've grown in the past few years, grown in so many ways. I'm slowly growing into a woman, and i hope i can become a woman completely for God.
Looking back on significant happenings in my life, i stumble across the day i met Ryan, and how he's changed me so. He's helped me to see the beauty in God, and beauty in myself. He's helped me to accept myself, even if i'm not perfect, and to strive for perfection in other area's of my life.
We've really started to grow together, grow in faith and life. I'm sad my faith and passion for God isn't at it's strongest right now, but i think i've let some area's of my life interfere. I don't want that anymore. I think Ryan will be the one to help me, he always is there to remind me where i come from, and who made me (ie, God). I must admit, i've fallen helplessly in love with that boy. I don't know what i'd do without him, or how i'd go a day without hearing his voice. I love how he knows me completely, inside and out, and still wants me in his life, he still wants to be there forever for me. And i want to be there forever for him. God has been so good to me, i really need to step back and praise God for giving me so much.
on a completely different note, I've been trying to figure out my living situation for fall. I'm signed up to be an RA again, but i feel incompatable with my community, and i don't think that will be beneficial to tutwiler. I always strive to do good where ever i go, or at whatever job i do. My inablility to do that at tut has really brought me down, and i feel it would be better if i gave up my job as an RA. I'm going to ask for a transfer 1 more time, and if it isnt granted, i fear that mean God has other plans for me. I have a strange sense of excitedment though, maybe God wants me to have my own place so i can start a Bible study or something. I know i'd love to have an apartment where i could make meals for people. I LOVE serving my friends and cooking for them. Which is probably why i keep spending loads of money on food for cookouts. I don't really mind, i love seeing how happy people are to have a cooked meal. I just fear having to get a new job and not having the time to spend working with God and other stuff. Anyways...anyone looking for an apartment, i'mm willing to look with you, or at least talk about it.
I suddenly have a strange sense of calming, like God knows what he's doing. Which i should always know is the case. Pray for me though...this is a very hard decision for me. I want to be an RA, but i also want to be happy in my living conditions. God will prevail.
Thank you Jesus for being amazing in my life.