Rant of the Day
So the other day I was at Quizno's with my friend getting dinner for her and her family. We had just came from Jamba Juice and I was elected the official holder of Jamba Juice goodness. In my possession was a power size Mantra Green Tea and some kind of "Enlightened" smoothie. Sadly though, neither were mine. I had eaten before meeting up with my friend and wasn't trying to conjure up a reincarnation of what I consumed not more than a half an hour ago by consuming more food and hitting a gag reflex.
Anyway, I took a seat at a table nearby as my friend put in her order when two male fitness trainers from the 24 Hour Fitness next door came in. They were arguing about something. From what I picked up as they walked past me, sounded like it was about the food run they were embarking on, how people should learn to compromise, not going to five million places to get food, blah blah. Anyway, one of them, a large stocky bulldog of a man, looks over at me and assures me they aren't going out, or married. Putting my hands up I confess, "I'm not here to judge, buddy. Different strokes fer different folks." He shrugged off my comment and continued conversing with his trainer buddy. It was meant to be a light hearted jost but by people of the general public my humor is never taken that way...I should take note of that one of these days...
A few minutes pass and I decide to join my friend up at the counter as she waited fer her order. As I get up from my seat the other trainer, who by comparison was complementary to his companion, slender in frame and toned not built, questioned, "So, you gettin' that (gesturing to the Jamba Juices) and sandwiches?" Instantaneously my blood began to boil.
Whad you tryin' to say? Yeah. What if I am? You gon' try to guilt me into gettin' a membership to yer gym, you hot head? I already have a 24 Hour membership that I use everyday so you can take yer tired ass sales pitches elsewhere cuz I'm really not trying to listen to some full-of-himself piece of muscle who thinks he knows what's best just because he has a six pack so yeah, fuck you. is basically the PG version of what I wanted to say. I held my tongue though.
"Actually, her family is gettin' alla this food. I'm just here 'cause I have hands," I say as I do spirit fingers (for dramatic effect), "to carry things."
"Oh, so yer the good friend who carries things," he coyly concluded out loud like some suave Sherlock Holmes. Maybe I should've saved him the trouble and just drawn him a diagram. I simply smile back like I totally have confidence in his intelligence then walked over to my friend with Jamba Juices in hand.
Finally, the food was in the process of being wrapped and bagged. My friend and I watched intently.
"Hey, so you want me to give you the calorie breakdown of that Jamba Juice?"
Whad the?
We both looked over our shoulders to see where this inane inquiry came from. It was from the bulldog trainer referring to the Jamba Juice my friend had taken from me to sample.
You want me to give you the calorie breakdown of that Jamba Juice? I satirized in my head.
NO I don't want you to give me the frikkin calorie breakdown of my friend's Jamba Juice, you frikkin prick. Way to try to dismantle the magic that is fast food. WHAT. Just because you brand yourself with a red polo of the 24 Hour Fitness family kind, that automatically makes you an effin nutrition genious?! If I wanted to know the "calorie breakdown" of what isn't even mine! I'd consult the NONpompous NUTRITION binders located conspicuously in the establishment where we recently purchased the high-calorie sloshy sugar drinks in the first place.
If I could've turned into a godzilla-sized dominion of destruction to strike down people perpetuating arrogance, I would've and that moment would have classified as an after sex cigarette.
I wondered, is this how he picks up on girls? If that was the case, all I could think of was Nick Swardson's character in Grandma's Boy: " 'SHIT'S WEAK."
Or maybe it was just another intro into another sales pitch in which case, " 'SHIT'S WEAK."
Still thinking to myself, inside I yell: You are a fitness trainer. What the hell are you doing at a Quizno's? Get outta here. If you're about to wolf down just as many calories as the person yer gonna "school"on nutrition, logic should naturally compell you to just shut the hell up and eat yer dinner. Unless of course, there's a disconnect in yer brain that instead compells you to be a hypocrite.
"I know there's a lot. It's a juice based one though, no sorbet or dairy," my friend reasoned.
"Yeah but...
Alright nevermind, I won't ruin it for you," the benevolent trainer responded.
Oh, how thoughful of you.
I understand nutrition, as well as fitness, are contributors to a long healthy life. I don't need a guy outfitted in red and ordained as a fitness trainer to give me "the calorie breakdown" of a certain fast food item to comprehend that. I don't need a diagram, thanks.
Fast food, in moderation, is not going to kill a person. The way I see it, Americans aren't fat because they eat fast food and sugar. Many Americans are fat because they consume both consistently in ridiculously enormous quantities. Mostly, being fat is a choice just like being lazy is a choice. It doesn't take as much effort to go to a drive-thru to get food as it would to go to the grocery store, buy ingredients and cook something nor does it take as much effort to sit and watch tv as it would to exercise. People abuse the ability to be lazy and a good handful of America is obese for that reason. See, the reason I'm fat is that I love food too much but I portion out what I eat and i exercise regularly. It's a conscious effort and I know I'm never going to fit into size 6 pants. However, I've come to terms with that. Other people should too. There's no reason why my fat should bother other people unless it's hanging out (and it wasn't).
So if i have the desire to consume fast food, or in this case, if my friend and her family have the desire to consume fast food, we should be able to go get it WITHOUT being harassed by a coupla 24 Hour Fitness trainers.
Anyway, I took a seat at a table nearby as my friend put in her order when two male fitness trainers from the 24 Hour Fitness next door came in. They were arguing about something. From what I picked up as they walked past me, sounded like it was about the food run they were embarking on, how people should learn to compromise, not going to five million places to get food, blah blah. Anyway, one of them, a large stocky bulldog of a man, looks over at me and assures me they aren't going out, or married. Putting my hands up I confess, "I'm not here to judge, buddy. Different strokes fer different folks." He shrugged off my comment and continued conversing with his trainer buddy. It was meant to be a light hearted jost but by people of the general public my humor is never taken that way...I should take note of that one of these days...
A few minutes pass and I decide to join my friend up at the counter as she waited fer her order. As I get up from my seat the other trainer, who by comparison was complementary to his companion, slender in frame and toned not built, questioned, "So, you gettin' that (gesturing to the Jamba Juices) and sandwiches?" Instantaneously my blood began to boil.
Whad you tryin' to say? Yeah. What if I am? You gon' try to guilt me into gettin' a membership to yer gym, you hot head? I already have a 24 Hour membership that I use everyday so you can take yer tired ass sales pitches elsewhere cuz I'm really not trying to listen to some full-of-himself piece of muscle who thinks he knows what's best just because he has a six pack so yeah, fuck you. is basically the PG version of what I wanted to say. I held my tongue though.
"Actually, her family is gettin' alla this food. I'm just here 'cause I have hands," I say as I do spirit fingers (for dramatic effect), "to carry things."
"Oh, so yer the good friend who carries things," he coyly concluded out loud like some suave Sherlock Holmes. Maybe I should've saved him the trouble and just drawn him a diagram. I simply smile back like I totally have confidence in his intelligence then walked over to my friend with Jamba Juices in hand.
Finally, the food was in the process of being wrapped and bagged. My friend and I watched intently.
"Hey, so you want me to give you the calorie breakdown of that Jamba Juice?"
Whad the?
We both looked over our shoulders to see where this inane inquiry came from. It was from the bulldog trainer referring to the Jamba Juice my friend had taken from me to sample.
You want me to give you the calorie breakdown of that Jamba Juice? I satirized in my head.
NO I don't want you to give me the frikkin calorie breakdown of my friend's Jamba Juice, you frikkin prick. Way to try to dismantle the magic that is fast food. WHAT. Just because you brand yourself with a red polo of the 24 Hour Fitness family kind, that automatically makes you an effin nutrition genious?! If I wanted to know the "calorie breakdown" of what isn't even mine! I'd consult the NONpompous NUTRITION binders located conspicuously in the establishment where we recently purchased the high-calorie sloshy sugar drinks in the first place.
If I could've turned into a godzilla-sized dominion of destruction to strike down people perpetuating arrogance, I would've and that moment would have classified as an after sex cigarette.
I wondered, is this how he picks up on girls? If that was the case, all I could think of was Nick Swardson's character in Grandma's Boy: " 'SHIT'S WEAK."
Or maybe it was just another intro into another sales pitch in which case, " 'SHIT'S WEAK."
Still thinking to myself, inside I yell: You are a fitness trainer. What the hell are you doing at a Quizno's? Get outta here. If you're about to wolf down just as many calories as the person yer gonna "school"on nutrition, logic should naturally compell you to just shut the hell up and eat yer dinner. Unless of course, there's a disconnect in yer brain that instead compells you to be a hypocrite.
"I know there's a lot. It's a juice based one though, no sorbet or dairy," my friend reasoned.
"Yeah but...
Alright nevermind, I won't ruin it for you," the benevolent trainer responded.
Oh, how thoughful of you.
I understand nutrition, as well as fitness, are contributors to a long healthy life. I don't need a guy outfitted in red and ordained as a fitness trainer to give me "the calorie breakdown" of a certain fast food item to comprehend that. I don't need a diagram, thanks.
Fast food, in moderation, is not going to kill a person. The way I see it, Americans aren't fat because they eat fast food and sugar. Many Americans are fat because they consume both consistently in ridiculously enormous quantities. Mostly, being fat is a choice just like being lazy is a choice. It doesn't take as much effort to go to a drive-thru to get food as it would to go to the grocery store, buy ingredients and cook something nor does it take as much effort to sit and watch tv as it would to exercise. People abuse the ability to be lazy and a good handful of America is obese for that reason. See, the reason I'm fat is that I love food too much but I portion out what I eat and i exercise regularly. It's a conscious effort and I know I'm never going to fit into size 6 pants. However, I've come to terms with that. Other people should too. There's no reason why my fat should bother other people unless it's hanging out (and it wasn't).
So if i have the desire to consume fast food, or in this case, if my friend and her family have the desire to consume fast food, we should be able to go get it WITHOUT being harassed by a coupla 24 Hour Fitness trainers.