(no subject)
Lots of feelings running through me phyically and emotionally.
I'm still in some pain from what's been happening to me. It went away for about a day but the pain has come back a bit.
I haven't spoken to my mom since Thursday night and I don't plan to in the near future.
Nicole is getting on my case and I'm ready to kick her face in. She keeps texting my phone late at night. Now, I go to bed around 2am...when she texts me, she wakes me up. Considering I can't fall asleep for a good hour or 2 AFTER I get in bed....she texts me at like 3:30-4am. Wtf?!?!
Tention in the relationship is never good. That's what we've had the past couple weeks. I guess I am partially to blame for it because I have been bitchy, but I have good reason. I've been depressed all week over shit that's been happening. Plus, Jay really has been acting different so that gives me bad vibes. He's just given me the impression like somethings up that I don't know about so of course I've gone a long time with a pit feeling in my stomach. It's just felt like a break up coming along and I don't want it. It's like most of the affection is gone. It was better before honestly. I think that's just one reason why I've been eating less. I mean, I'm trying to eat better because I've abused the junk food all summer...but the pit feelings have made me not hungry too. Or even if I'm just plain upset about something. If you know me well, then you know I'm always hungry lol. But even today...seriously the only things I've consumed were a diet pepsi and 3 tiny pieces of pineapple. That's not good but it's all I've been able to eat today. I feel too emotionally weak to eat sometimes. I want things to go back to the way they were.
**********************
On a lighter note, I have seen some good things come along. Things are a little better at work now that I've moved up and I'll have a new schedule soon. I'll have my weekend nights finally. Which I haven't had in 3 years. It's about time.
Matt and I started talking again. You have no idea how good it felt when he IMed me the first time. We had kind of a "thing" when we first met. Then out of the blue he disappeared and til now we've had no contact. LoL...he feels really bad about leaving like that but honestly, I'm not upset at all...I'm glad he's thought about me this whole time and didn't forget me because I've done the same for him. I told him I have a bf now and I thought he wouldn't bother to talk to me again but he's totally cool with it and he's here for me. He's one of those people who will catch you when you fall. So I'm really glad he's a friend now.
Oh and chillin with Matt and his buddies watching them ride was awesome! I had fun. I love bikes.
So maybe now everything is just balancing out. I'm hoping things will get better...and fast.
I'm still in some pain from what's been happening to me. It went away for about a day but the pain has come back a bit.
I haven't spoken to my mom since Thursday night and I don't plan to in the near future.
Nicole is getting on my case and I'm ready to kick her face in. She keeps texting my phone late at night. Now, I go to bed around 2am...when she texts me, she wakes me up. Considering I can't fall asleep for a good hour or 2 AFTER I get in bed....she texts me at like 3:30-4am. Wtf?!?!
Tention in the relationship is never good. That's what we've had the past couple weeks. I guess I am partially to blame for it because I have been bitchy, but I have good reason. I've been depressed all week over shit that's been happening. Plus, Jay really has been acting different so that gives me bad vibes. He's just given me the impression like somethings up that I don't know about so of course I've gone a long time with a pit feeling in my stomach. It's just felt like a break up coming along and I don't want it. It's like most of the affection is gone. It was better before honestly. I think that's just one reason why I've been eating less. I mean, I'm trying to eat better because I've abused the junk food all summer...but the pit feelings have made me not hungry too. Or even if I'm just plain upset about something. If you know me well, then you know I'm always hungry lol. But even today...seriously the only things I've consumed were a diet pepsi and 3 tiny pieces of pineapple. That's not good but it's all I've been able to eat today. I feel too emotionally weak to eat sometimes. I want things to go back to the way they were.
**********************
On a lighter note, I have seen some good things come along. Things are a little better at work now that I've moved up and I'll have a new schedule soon. I'll have my weekend nights finally. Which I haven't had in 3 years. It's about time.
Matt and I started talking again. You have no idea how good it felt when he IMed me the first time. We had kind of a "thing" when we first met. Then out of the blue he disappeared and til now we've had no contact. LoL...he feels really bad about leaving like that but honestly, I'm not upset at all...I'm glad he's thought about me this whole time and didn't forget me because I've done the same for him. I told him I have a bf now and I thought he wouldn't bother to talk to me again but he's totally cool with it and he's here for me. He's one of those people who will catch you when you fall. So I'm really glad he's a friend now.
Oh and chillin with Matt and his buddies watching them ride was awesome! I had fun. I love bikes.
So maybe now everything is just balancing out. I'm hoping things will get better...and fast.