HIMYM Fanfic: "Twice in a Lifetime" B/R
HIMYM fanfic: "Twice in a Lifetime"
Pairing: B/R
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1375
Setting: Post-season nine
Summary: Barney objects at Ted and Robin's wedding
Note: I do not own HIMYM, the characters or anything even remotely related to it. This is my own speculation, after a friend asked for a story with this scenario as a birthday gift.
New York, 2031
“We are gathered here today,” Judge Marshall Eriksen began, “to witness the marriage of Robin Charles Sherbatsky Junior and Theodore Evelyn Mosby. If there is anyone here who has reason why these two people should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
A creak of wood broke the silence as one of the guests stood. “I know a reason.”
Robin blinked as a familiar blond, suited figure pulled himself up to his full height in the rear of the grand ballroom of the Coronet hotel and adjusted the knot of his tie. “Barney? What are you doing here?” Her ex-husband was the last person she expected to see at her second wedding, and yet the mere sight of him, the sound of his voice, made her stomach flutter in a way her current fiancé never could. “I swear I didn’t invite him,” she whispered to Ted. Decent, reliable, patient, safe, understanding Ted, who stared, not at Barney, but at her, lips pursed with the question he didn’t have to ask.
“I am here,” Barney said, slipping from the pew and advancing down the aisle, “because last night, you called me, sloppy-drunk and sobbing your guts out. You asked me if you’re doing the right thing, marrying Ted. I didn’t have an answer for you then, but I do now. Don’t marry Ted. You’ll mean well, and he’ll mean well, but you’ll feel trapped and you’ll feel guilty because you can’t be what this nice, respectable guy wants you to be. You’ll hate yourself and you’ll hate him. You already hate me, so I don’t have anything to lose.”
Robin shook her head. “I don’t hate you,” she said, her voice a strained whisper. This couldn’t be real. Any minute now, she’d roll over, one of her dogs would lick her face and life could go back to normal, even if she couldn’t begin to guess what that normal would be.
“I hate you.” Ted’s jaw clenched.
Oh yes, definitely real. Damn. Robin eyed the double doors directly behind Barney. She could clear the distance between the wedding arch and those doors in roughly twelve point eight seconds if she kicked off her shoes and hiked up her skirt. Only problem was that she’d have to get by Barney first. Double damn. Either the aisle was shrinking, or Barney was coming walking toward her.
“I wasn’t going to come here.” Barney let out a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I swore I wasn’t going to come here, and when my phone rang last night, I was packing for a week in Tahiti. Then I heard your voice, and everything changed. So, I’m here, and I think you shouldn’t get married to Ted because you should be married to me. I am here because you’re the other half of me and I’m the other half of you. All of our broken places fit together, and they can’t ever fit that way with anyone else.”
Ted’s features pinched, brown eyes widening. “You called Barney last night?”
Robin only nodded.
“You didn’t call me.” Ted turned to fix a paternal stare at Penny and Luke. “Did Robin call me last night? Did one of you not pick up or not give me a message?”
“No, Dad.” Luke answered for both of them. “The only call last night was from Grandpa Clint.” Luke tilted his head toward his grandfather, who’d come armed with acoustic guitar.
Robin let out a long breath. “I called Barney. I was scared and I was sad and I was drunk and I didn’t know what to do. The one thing I knew for sure was that he promised he would always tell me the truth. So I called him, all right? I called my ex-husband the night before my wedding to my future second husband, because marriage is scary and hard and I stink at it.”
“You don’t stink at it.” Barney’s mouth shaped into the slightest of curves, the almost imperceptible shake of his head the last thing Robin needed to see and still maintain any sense of composure.
“Yeah, well, you bailed out of our marriage pretty darned fast. If I was such a great wife, why didn’t you stay? Why didn’t you fight for us?”
Barney raked a hand through his already disheveled hair. “My leaving didn’t have anything to do with your failings as a wife. You were, and are, awesome. You knew what you wanted and where you were going, and I was just,” he paused for a self-deprecating shrug, “I was just me. GNB was gone, my blog was a joke. I wanted to make you happy, and I couldn’t. You deserved better.”
Ted stepped forward, putting himself between Robin and Barney. “Are you seriously trying to talk about your divorce in the middle of my wedding?”
“Our wedding, Ted.” Robin’s voice drew all attention back to her.
Ted’s mouth creased in a frown. “That’s what I said. This is my wedding to you.”
“No.” Robin steeled herself against the fear that rose from deep in her gut. Ted was safe, the fear told her. Dependable. Ted would rescue her from the lonely grind her life had become. Or, another part of her whispered, she could rescue herself. “It’s not.” She slid the diamond ring from her finger then, pressing it into Ted’s hand and closing his fingers about metal and stone. “This doesn’t work between us, Ted, and it never will. I don’t love you that way. We’re friends, really, really good friends, but that’s it. We can’t get married to each other just because you miss Tracy and I miss Barney.”
Barney’s brows flashed upward, blue eyes dark with suppressed hope. “You miss me?”
“You’re an idiot for coming here, you know that?”
“But am I your idiot?”
Robin shoved her bouquet at Lily and turned to face Ted one more time. “What you and Tracy had, that was once in a lifetime. Don’t settle for anything less this time around, okay? Don’t settle for me.” She straightened Ted’s lapel, kissed his cheek and stepped away from the wedding arch. “You will always be my idiot,” she said as she slipped into Barney’s outstretched arms, and she knew then that she was finally, finally home.
Barney folded her into the circle of his embrace, holding onto her like a drowning man would a life raft. Robin buried her face in the place where his neck and shoulder met, the wool of his suit soft and warm beneath her cheek, only looking up when Barney tilted her chin to receive his kiss.
Marshall cleared his throat. “I now pronounce you un-divorced. That’s Barney and Robin,” he added, “not Robin and Ted, who are not married. Everybody got that? Robin and Ted are not married.”
Lily swatted at Marshall with both bouquets, hers and Robin’s, leaving a swath of yellow pollen across Marshall’s black sleeve. “You can’t un-divorce people.”
Marshall shrugged. “I had to say something. Besides, I think they un-divorced themselves.”
“So,” Barney raised one brow and tilted his head in Marshall’s direction. “Is he right? Are we un-divorced now?”
Robin needed no time at all to answer. “Yeah. We’re un-divorced, but I think we should probably get out of here. Clint has his guitar, and he looks twitchy.”
Barney winced. “Good call.” He laced his fingers through hers and gave a supportive squeeze. “Ranjit is waiting outside, and there’s a flight to Vancouver leaving in two hours.”
“Guys.” They both turned at the sound of Ted’s voice. “Take this.” Ted reached into his breast pocket and withdrew a plain white envelope. “The keycard opens the penthouse bridal suite here at the Coronet, and there’s a flight leaving for Jamaica in the morning. When you find a love that comes twice in a lifetime, you shouldn’t have to settle.”
None of them ever had to settle again, for the rest of their lives. Barney and Robin spent the night in the bridal suite, got remarried on the beach in Jamaica, and three years later, stood up for Ted and his new wife at a wedding that everyone involved agreed was legendary and well worth the wait.
~*~
Pairing: B/R
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1375
Setting: Post-season nine
Summary: Barney objects at Ted and Robin's wedding
Note: I do not own HIMYM, the characters or anything even remotely related to it. This is my own speculation, after a friend asked for a story with this scenario as a birthday gift.
New York, 2031
“We are gathered here today,” Judge Marshall Eriksen began, “to witness the marriage of Robin Charles Sherbatsky Junior and Theodore Evelyn Mosby. If there is anyone here who has reason why these two people should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
A creak of wood broke the silence as one of the guests stood. “I know a reason.”
Robin blinked as a familiar blond, suited figure pulled himself up to his full height in the rear of the grand ballroom of the Coronet hotel and adjusted the knot of his tie. “Barney? What are you doing here?” Her ex-husband was the last person she expected to see at her second wedding, and yet the mere sight of him, the sound of his voice, made her stomach flutter in a way her current fiancé never could. “I swear I didn’t invite him,” she whispered to Ted. Decent, reliable, patient, safe, understanding Ted, who stared, not at Barney, but at her, lips pursed with the question he didn’t have to ask.
“I am here,” Barney said, slipping from the pew and advancing down the aisle, “because last night, you called me, sloppy-drunk and sobbing your guts out. You asked me if you’re doing the right thing, marrying Ted. I didn’t have an answer for you then, but I do now. Don’t marry Ted. You’ll mean well, and he’ll mean well, but you’ll feel trapped and you’ll feel guilty because you can’t be what this nice, respectable guy wants you to be. You’ll hate yourself and you’ll hate him. You already hate me, so I don’t have anything to lose.”
Robin shook her head. “I don’t hate you,” she said, her voice a strained whisper. This couldn’t be real. Any minute now, she’d roll over, one of her dogs would lick her face and life could go back to normal, even if she couldn’t begin to guess what that normal would be.
“I hate you.” Ted’s jaw clenched.
Oh yes, definitely real. Damn. Robin eyed the double doors directly behind Barney. She could clear the distance between the wedding arch and those doors in roughly twelve point eight seconds if she kicked off her shoes and hiked up her skirt. Only problem was that she’d have to get by Barney first. Double damn. Either the aisle was shrinking, or Barney was coming walking toward her.
“I wasn’t going to come here.” Barney let out a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I swore I wasn’t going to come here, and when my phone rang last night, I was packing for a week in Tahiti. Then I heard your voice, and everything changed. So, I’m here, and I think you shouldn’t get married to Ted because you should be married to me. I am here because you’re the other half of me and I’m the other half of you. All of our broken places fit together, and they can’t ever fit that way with anyone else.”
Ted’s features pinched, brown eyes widening. “You called Barney last night?”
Robin only nodded.
“You didn’t call me.” Ted turned to fix a paternal stare at Penny and Luke. “Did Robin call me last night? Did one of you not pick up or not give me a message?”
“No, Dad.” Luke answered for both of them. “The only call last night was from Grandpa Clint.” Luke tilted his head toward his grandfather, who’d come armed with acoustic guitar.
Robin let out a long breath. “I called Barney. I was scared and I was sad and I was drunk and I didn’t know what to do. The one thing I knew for sure was that he promised he would always tell me the truth. So I called him, all right? I called my ex-husband the night before my wedding to my future second husband, because marriage is scary and hard and I stink at it.”
“You don’t stink at it.” Barney’s mouth shaped into the slightest of curves, the almost imperceptible shake of his head the last thing Robin needed to see and still maintain any sense of composure.
“Yeah, well, you bailed out of our marriage pretty darned fast. If I was such a great wife, why didn’t you stay? Why didn’t you fight for us?”
Barney raked a hand through his already disheveled hair. “My leaving didn’t have anything to do with your failings as a wife. You were, and are, awesome. You knew what you wanted and where you were going, and I was just,” he paused for a self-deprecating shrug, “I was just me. GNB was gone, my blog was a joke. I wanted to make you happy, and I couldn’t. You deserved better.”
Ted stepped forward, putting himself between Robin and Barney. “Are you seriously trying to talk about your divorce in the middle of my wedding?”
“Our wedding, Ted.” Robin’s voice drew all attention back to her.
Ted’s mouth creased in a frown. “That’s what I said. This is my wedding to you.”
“No.” Robin steeled herself against the fear that rose from deep in her gut. Ted was safe, the fear told her. Dependable. Ted would rescue her from the lonely grind her life had become. Or, another part of her whispered, she could rescue herself. “It’s not.” She slid the diamond ring from her finger then, pressing it into Ted’s hand and closing his fingers about metal and stone. “This doesn’t work between us, Ted, and it never will. I don’t love you that way. We’re friends, really, really good friends, but that’s it. We can’t get married to each other just because you miss Tracy and I miss Barney.”
Barney’s brows flashed upward, blue eyes dark with suppressed hope. “You miss me?”
“You’re an idiot for coming here, you know that?”
“But am I your idiot?”
Robin shoved her bouquet at Lily and turned to face Ted one more time. “What you and Tracy had, that was once in a lifetime. Don’t settle for anything less this time around, okay? Don’t settle for me.” She straightened Ted’s lapel, kissed his cheek and stepped away from the wedding arch. “You will always be my idiot,” she said as she slipped into Barney’s outstretched arms, and she knew then that she was finally, finally home.
Barney folded her into the circle of his embrace, holding onto her like a drowning man would a life raft. Robin buried her face in the place where his neck and shoulder met, the wool of his suit soft and warm beneath her cheek, only looking up when Barney tilted her chin to receive his kiss.
Marshall cleared his throat. “I now pronounce you un-divorced. That’s Barney and Robin,” he added, “not Robin and Ted, who are not married. Everybody got that? Robin and Ted are not married.”
Lily swatted at Marshall with both bouquets, hers and Robin’s, leaving a swath of yellow pollen across Marshall’s black sleeve. “You can’t un-divorce people.”
Marshall shrugged. “I had to say something. Besides, I think they un-divorced themselves.”
“So,” Barney raised one brow and tilted his head in Marshall’s direction. “Is he right? Are we un-divorced now?”
Robin needed no time at all to answer. “Yeah. We’re un-divorced, but I think we should probably get out of here. Clint has his guitar, and he looks twitchy.”
Barney winced. “Good call.” He laced his fingers through hers and gave a supportive squeeze. “Ranjit is waiting outside, and there’s a flight to Vancouver leaving in two hours.”
“Guys.” They both turned at the sound of Ted’s voice. “Take this.” Ted reached into his breast pocket and withdrew a plain white envelope. “The keycard opens the penthouse bridal suite here at the Coronet, and there’s a flight leaving for Jamaica in the morning. When you find a love that comes twice in a lifetime, you shouldn’t have to settle.”
None of them ever had to settle again, for the rest of their lives. Barney and Robin spent the night in the bridal suite, got remarried on the beach in Jamaica, and three years later, stood up for Ted and his new wife at a wedding that everyone involved agreed was legendary and well worth the wait.
~*~