give your heart (a break), part x (glee, kurtbastian)
Fandom: Glee
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Sebastian, side Brody/Rachel, brief Adam/Kurt, Sebastian/OC, Isabelle, Santana, Mercedes, Puck, OCs.
Warnings: Semi-graphic sex, a tiny bit of homophobia, language, not entirely friendly toward Blaine.
Summary: Post-TBU AU. Life moves on after heartbreak: Kurt knows that more than most. As he tries to put his life back together after Blaine, he finds an unexpected ally in his new coworker and Isabelle's nephew: Sebastian Smythe. As Kurt goes through his new life as a single man, he finds an unexpected depth to Sebastian and realizes that losing the first love of his life doesn't mean he'll never love again.
Author's Notes: Written for the kurtbastianbang. Thank you to the lovely keesecake for the amazing fanart! This behemouth was originally going to be 20k of Sebastian and Kurt being cute in New York - obviously this shows that I can't write short fiction worth shit. All musical numbers can either be found here here or they will be linked in the story. The title is taken from "Give Your Heart a Break." Now, without further adieu--
Inside there’s still a crush of people, but they manage to stop Isabelle, who waves them over to where she’s standing with a couple that Kurt can only assume are Sebastian’s parents.
Sebastian’s father is an imposing man of around fifty, with dark gray streaks in his brown hair. Both Sebastian and Braxton don’t look much like him, though they obviously inherited his coloring - no, it’s apparent that the Smythe brothers got everything else from their fine-boned, gorgeous mother, whose face crinkles up in that distinctive Smythe way as she smiles. They’re an attractive couple, the Smythe parents, and Kurt can’t help but be a little intimidated by their combined beauty, their aura of importance.
“Calm down,” Sebastian murmurs into his ear. “They’re not all as impressive as that.” He sounds anxious and his face, when Kurt glances back, is pale.
“They look very impressive,” Kurt points out, tries to keep his voice light so that Sebastian will relax. “Your mother has excellent taste, that vintage Dior looks divine on her.” It does, even if her sneer doesn’t suit her as well.
Sebastian makes a face, but his face regains some color. “Her taste in fashion is probably the only good taste she has left,” Sebastian mutters. He sighs, put upon. “Come on, better introduce you quick and get it over with.” He takes Kurt’s arm, starts to lead him across the room, hesitates. “Kurt,” he says. “Don’t let anything they say get to you.”
Kurt stares up at Sebastian as they continue across the room. “What--?” he asks, uncertain why everyone seems to think that Sebastian’s parents will be horrible to him, but they’re already at the Smythe parents’ side, and they’re turning to meet Kurt and Sebastian. Isabelle gives them a look and then slips away into the crowd.
Sebastian’s father doesn’t look at Sebastian at first--his attention is all on Kurt, sweeping over him from head to toe. And Kurt hadn’t exactly been expecting a warm reaction, but the look Sebastian’s father wears after he’s finished examining Kurt says that he’s seen all Kurt has to offer and Kurt has come up wanting. Kurt starts to flush, looks over at Sebastian’s mother--who’s looking at him much as a shark might look at a fish it could eat but doesn’t want to for fear of stomachache.
Kurt shrinks back for a moment, feeling very small. Then he remembers his dad, his friends, Sebastian, Isabelle--even Blaine, who’ve all told him that he’s a good person, a fabulous person. He’s Kurt motherfucking Hummel, and these people might be important and rich and Sebastian’s parents, but they are not better than him, and they will not make him feel small. Kurt won’t allow it.
He stares down Sebastian’s mother, who turns her head with a delicate huff after a minute, then sweeps his gaze to Sebastian’s father--who has actually already turned to regard Sebastian.
“It’s good to see you looking so well, son,” Sebastian’s father says. “New York suits you as much as it suits your aunt.”
Sebastian’s mouth thins. “You look good as well, father,” he says without sincerity. His face relaxes a little as he turns to Kurt, gestures him forward. “May I introduce Kurt Hummel? He works with me at Aunt Isabelle’s company as an intern.”
Neither of Sebastian’s parents deign to offer a hand or a hello. Kurt grits his teeth. “Pleasure,” he spits out as politely as he can, “I’m sure.”
He sees Sebastian grin a little out of the corner of his eye and relaxes, temper fading.
“Lovely,” Mr. Smythe says, clearly not meaning it. He gives Kurt another long once-over and Kurt recognizes his look suddenly: it’s a Lima look, the one that says: oh it’s one of them. Kurt’s suddenly icy all over.
“You’ve made some interesting friends here, Sebastian,” Sebastian’s father says. “Tell me, Kurt, do you attend college nearby?”
Kurt grits his teeth, already knows the reaction to his answer. “No,” he says. “I live nearby with an old friend from high school who’s attending the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts.”
Sebastian’s father wrinkles his nose. “Ah,” he says. “Yes, I’ve met Ms. Tibbideaux several times. She’s a forceful woman--very set in her opinions.” His eyebrow raises. “Do you have any plans to attend school soon, Mr. Hummel?”
Kurt’s not sure how, but Mr. Hummel is starting to sound like an insult. “I’m not quite sure, Mr. Smythe,” Kurt says and injects as much polite disdain as he can into the title.
Sebastian’s father purses his lips. “You should pursue higher education, son,” he says. “After all, it’s not like there’s a future for you in this nonsense.” He waves a hand around them. “Or with singing showtunes.”
Kurt’s spine straightens--slow and sure, his cold fury unfurls. “Excuse me, Mr. Smythe,” he snaps and he’s satisfied to see Sebastian’s father’s attention focus on him. “But I happen to think there’s much satisfaction and success to gain from a career in fine arts as there is in any other job.”
Mr. Smythe’s eyes narrow. “Oh?” he asks, the dangerous edge to his voice warning Kurt. “Are you planning to go into this field then, Mr. Hummel?” He raises an eyebrow. “What exactly are your plans for the future?”
Kurt falters because this is a question he’s asked himself many times over the past weeks and has yet to find an answer to. “I like working here,” he says, and he knows and curses that it sounds weak.
Mr. Smythe senses victory and smiles a wide, shark grin. “Let me give you a hard truth, Mr. Hummel, in the interest of helping you: there is no future in a job such as this.” He gestures again to the room at large. “What exactly are any of you doing to benefit society, hm? You all flutter around, showing off your ridiculous outfits like it all means something more--trust me, Mr. Hummel, when I say it doesn’t. Fashion is a cheap, consumer art for the bored and unimaginative and the sooner people realize that the better.” He eyes Kurt, snorts. “I realize that your kind may not be able to access the higher circles of society, though, so maybe you’re content to be stuck here.”
“Father!” Sebastian snaps.
Kurt’s throat is tight, clogged. He sees out of the corner of his eye that Isabelle is pale, looks just as shocked Kurt feels. “I see,” he says, knows his voice is thick. “Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, Mr. Smythe.” He wants to say more, but he isn’t quite sure where to find the words.
There’s a touch at his elbow and Kurt turns to see Rachel and Brody there, both regarding him concern.
“Kurt,” Rachel says, eyes darting between the Smythes and him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Kurt can’t describe his overwhelming relief. “Yes, of course,” he says. He turns back to the Smythes. “If you’ll excuse me,” he says and lets Rachel tug him away.
“What the hell?” she hisses into his ear as she tugs him across the room, to one of the terrance doors and outside. Brody follows close on their heels. “Who were they?” Rachel demands once they’re out in the cold night air, alone.
“Sebastian’s parents,” Kurt says. His throat is still tight and he’s biting back on tears. “Who obviously have very strong opinions on what constitutes as a real job.”
“We only got the tail end of it,” Brody says, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”
Kurt takes a deep breath. “I’m fine,” he assures them. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, right? Everyone thinks that fashion and music will lead me nowhere. I’ll just have to prove them wrong, that’s all.” Kurt laughs, a touch bitter and sings with some irony, “I feel better when beguiling, find that fashion keeps me smiling, but in my heart I know it’s rather sad.”
Rachel sighs. “Kurt,” she says and then, because she is Rachel Berry, sings back, “That a life of great potential is dismissed as inconsequential.”
Kurt really loves Rachel sometimes, because it’s only when he’s with her that things like this happen. He smiles a little as he sings, “And only ever seen as being cute. So I’ll flutter to deceive--”
“Oh no, you must believe,” Rachel cuts in, taking his hand, eyes soft and sincere. “One day you’re bound to find . . .”
“A stronger suit,” they finish together and then hug, tightly.
“Does this always happen with you two?” Brody asked, bemused, as they pull apart. Rachel and Kurt laugh.
“Singing is how we deal with pain,” Kurt asserts. He takes a deep breath. “I can’t let that man get to me,” he tells Rachel. “He doesn’t know me and he doesn’t know anything about following your dreams, obviously, or he wouldn’t shit all over mine.”
“Actors probably make ten times his salary,” Rachel says, scornful.
Kurt winces. “Well, he’s a lawyer, so maybe not. But definitely a good point.” He sighs. “Sebastian was right, he really is impossible to talk to. I’d hoped that he was over-exaggerating or something because they were fighting and that I could help them make up, you know? But I think that’s impossible.”
Rachel’s about to reply when the door opens and Sebastian slips out. He goes immediately to Kurt, ignoring both Rachel and Brody.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “I’m sorry, I would never have brought you with me if I’d known he was going to--”
“It’s alright,” Kurt cuts in, smiling a little at Sebastian’s wide-eyed panic. “It’s nothing I’ve never heard before and Rachel helped me with the power of song.”
“It heals all wounds,” Rachel puts in, very serious.
“I see,” Sebastian says, mouth quirking. “Rachel, Brody, if I could have a moment alone with Kurt?”
Rachel and Brody both turn on Kurt with identical questioning looks and Kurt wonders if he should tell them that they’re spending too much time together.
“I’ll see you guys inside,” he assures them and they leave, hand in hand.
“I’m really sorry, Kurt,” Sebastian says again, running a hand through his hair. “I tried to rip him a new one after you left but he didn’t hear a word of it, just kept trying to talk to me about the firm.”
“I’m not very surprised,” Kurt admits. “But it’s alright.” He eyes Sebastian. “Do your parents know that you’re gay?” he asks.
“Yes,” Sebastian says, miserable. “But my dad, he . . .” Sebastian sighs. “Look, he’s not a clean-cut homophobe. He’s fine that I’m gay, but that’s only because I’m not obviously gay. He doesn’t like . . . .” He shoots Kurt an uncomfortable look.
“Flamers like me,” Kurt finishes, a tad bitter because this is something that he’s always had to deal with: well I’m fine with you being gay, but could you act like it a little less?
Sebastian winces. “Yes,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing for your jackass of a father,” Kurt snaps, irritated. Sebastian blinks at him, grins.
“Little bitch,” he says. “Look, we’ll just avoid him for the rest of the night now that we’ve done the necessary pleasantries.”
“Sounds good to me,” Kurt says. “I’d be happy if I never saw that man again, to be honest.”
“Oh, I understand the feeling,” Sebastian says. “Completely.” He holds out a hand for Kurt. “Shall we, darling?”
Kurt, feeling a little more composed, takes it and follows Sebastian inside.
-
The party ends anticlimactically--Sebastian and Kurt manage to avoid the Smythes for the rest of the night, though Kurt imagines that he can feel one or both them looking at him at one point or another.
Kurt’s never been more relieved to go home after a long day, if he’s honest, and he vows that next time Isabelle hosts a party he’s going to make sure that Sebastian’s parents will not be there.
Still, he reflects once he’s back in his bedroom, getting ready for sleep, it could have been worse. At least he’s learned more about Sebastian now--and, more importantly, Sebastian trusts him enough to tell him these things about himself. Kurt smiles a little at his reflection--he likes the thought of Sebastian trusting him with secrets. It makes Kurt feel very warm.
There’s a knock on his door. “Kurt?” Rachel says. “I know you’re about to go to sleep but I have a question for you.”
Kurt sighs. “Yes, Rachel?”
A long pause. “Do you like Sebastian?”
Kurt freezes, stares at his wide-eyed form in his mirror. Then he slumps. “Yes,” he admits, because he needs to tell someone.
Rachel sighs. “You never pick the easy choice, do you, Kurt?” she asks and Kurt laughs because it’s really so true.
-
It's the weekend before Kurt and Rachel's anticlimactic Christmas plans that an unexpected knock sounds on their door. Kurt glances over at Rachel, curled up on the couch with a textbook.
"Brody?" he asks, but Rachel shakes her head.
Kurt frowns, moves to the door, pointedly not remembering the last time someone had shown up unexpectedly on their doorstep. When he opens their door, his concern fades away as he's met with five familiar faces.
"Oh my God!" he exclaims and Mercedes launches herself at him, laughing.
"Did you think you'd get away without seeing us before the new year?" she asks as she presses him into a close hug. "I don't think so."
Quinn smiles at him over Mercedes' head. "Since you two were so busy, we decided to come visit you instead," she says. Kurt hears footsteps and the excited squeal that means Rachel has come up behind him and seen everyone. Quinn's smile deepens. "If that's alright."
"Of course it's alright!" Rachel exclaims, hurrying forward to hug everyone.
Mercedes lets Kurt go and he shares in several exuberant hugs of his own before they all separate. Rachel and Kurt usher everyone in and, after a stampede of getting shoes and coats and hats off, they all stand in their living room, taking it all in. Kurt realizes, a little amused, that he’s actually nervous about their opinions.
Puck is the first to speak. "So this is the pad, huh?” he says. "Pretty nice, actually. A lot better than my pit on the other side."
“I was expecting something with more cockroaches,” Quinn admits. “My roommate used to live in New York and she has all sorts of horror stories about the places she lived in.”
Kurt smiles, relaxes. "It's easier with a roommate. Rachel's and my parents help out sometimes too." He shrugs. “We kind of need it since both of us don’t really have an income.”
“That’s right,” Mike says, “I heard about internship from Artie. Congratulations, Kurt!”
“It’s not that big a deal,” Kurt demures, though his tone is playfully modest.
Santana hits him on the shoulder, but her smile is playful. "I can't believe you got it so fast!"
Kurt smiles at her and then, partly to see her reactions, says, "Brittany told me you're being considered for head cheerleader.” Santana’s flush is interesting. "That's great, what with you not being there long."
"You talk to Brit?" Santana asks, a curiously strained note in her voice.
Kurt notices everyone in their group exchanging looks and then pointedly floating away to different points in the room, making their own conversation. Kurt remembers what Artie told him about Santana and Brittany’s break-up and is grateful for their unexpected discretion.
Kurt shrugs. "Not often," he admits. "Just texting now and again." He hesitates, wonders if it's his place, then says, "She seems lonely."
Santana's eyes betray nothing. "Not anymore," she says. "She and Sam started dating."
Kurt blinks, taken aback: both Artie and Brittany never told him that. For a moment he wonders if Blaine feels smug, having Kurt's skepticism of "real" bisexuals shot down with such concrete evidence. He forces the thought away.
"I'm sorry," he says, not because he cares really if Brittany is bisexual and decided to date a man instead, but because he knows that pain in Santana's eyes, knows that she isn't over Brittany and it must hurt to see her with someone else, man or woman.
Santana smiles a little. "It's alright," she says. "I guess if it had to be anyone, she could do worse than trouty mouth."
"Sam is a good guy," Kurt says, meaning it even though his feelings on Sam are a little mixed at the moment. "He won't hurt her, not deliberately."
“Oh, I know,” Santana says, waves a hand. She eyes Kurt. “How’re you doing anyway, porcelain? I know you and Cary Grant broke up, but it seems like no one from the homeland has heard your side of the story except for Finnessa and he’s not talking.”
Kurt grimaces. “It was a bad break-up,” he admits, because when push comes to shove he and Santana are something like friends. “But I’m getting over it. Kind of.”
Something shifts in Santana’s expression. “You know the littlest gay still wants the D,” she says. “Your D. Are you not interested in that?”
Kurt rolls his eyes, but shakes his head. “I hope we can be friends,” he says, meaning it. “But I can’t be with him again, not now. Maybe in the future, if we’re both available and I feel like I can . . . .” He sighs.
“Like you can trust him again,” Santana finishes. “Well, shit. Brit’s going to be so disappointed. She was rooting for you guys to get back together.”
Kurt shrugs. “Everyone back home will probably be disappointed,” he says. “But my love life isn’t dictated by their feelings.”
Santana grins. “You go girl,” she says, pats Kurt on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s make sure Puckerman hasn’t broken anything yet.”
-
“So what do you crazy college kids do for fun around here?” Santana asks later, when they’ve all gathered on the living room floor to chat.
Kurt and Rachel exchange helpless looks. “Callbacks?” Rachel asks, more to Kurt than anyone else.
Kurt shrugs. It’s as good a place as any to take their friends.
“Callbacks?” Quinn repeats, eyebrow raising. “What’s that?”
part xi
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Sebastian, side Brody/Rachel, brief Adam/Kurt, Sebastian/OC, Isabelle, Santana, Mercedes, Puck, OCs.
Warnings: Semi-graphic sex, a tiny bit of homophobia, language, not entirely friendly toward Blaine.
Summary: Post-TBU AU. Life moves on after heartbreak: Kurt knows that more than most. As he tries to put his life back together after Blaine, he finds an unexpected ally in his new coworker and Isabelle's nephew: Sebastian Smythe. As Kurt goes through his new life as a single man, he finds an unexpected depth to Sebastian and realizes that losing the first love of his life doesn't mean he'll never love again.
Author's Notes: Written for the kurtbastianbang. Thank you to the lovely keesecake for the amazing fanart! This behemouth was originally going to be 20k of Sebastian and Kurt being cute in New York - obviously this shows that I can't write short fiction worth shit. All musical numbers can either be found here here or they will be linked in the story. The title is taken from "Give Your Heart a Break." Now, without further adieu--
Inside there’s still a crush of people, but they manage to stop Isabelle, who waves them over to where she’s standing with a couple that Kurt can only assume are Sebastian’s parents.
Sebastian’s father is an imposing man of around fifty, with dark gray streaks in his brown hair. Both Sebastian and Braxton don’t look much like him, though they obviously inherited his coloring - no, it’s apparent that the Smythe brothers got everything else from their fine-boned, gorgeous mother, whose face crinkles up in that distinctive Smythe way as she smiles. They’re an attractive couple, the Smythe parents, and Kurt can’t help but be a little intimidated by their combined beauty, their aura of importance.
“Calm down,” Sebastian murmurs into his ear. “They’re not all as impressive as that.” He sounds anxious and his face, when Kurt glances back, is pale.
“They look very impressive,” Kurt points out, tries to keep his voice light so that Sebastian will relax. “Your mother has excellent taste, that vintage Dior looks divine on her.” It does, even if her sneer doesn’t suit her as well.
Sebastian makes a face, but his face regains some color. “Her taste in fashion is probably the only good taste she has left,” Sebastian mutters. He sighs, put upon. “Come on, better introduce you quick and get it over with.” He takes Kurt’s arm, starts to lead him across the room, hesitates. “Kurt,” he says. “Don’t let anything they say get to you.”
Kurt stares up at Sebastian as they continue across the room. “What--?” he asks, uncertain why everyone seems to think that Sebastian’s parents will be horrible to him, but they’re already at the Smythe parents’ side, and they’re turning to meet Kurt and Sebastian. Isabelle gives them a look and then slips away into the crowd.
Sebastian’s father doesn’t look at Sebastian at first--his attention is all on Kurt, sweeping over him from head to toe. And Kurt hadn’t exactly been expecting a warm reaction, but the look Sebastian’s father wears after he’s finished examining Kurt says that he’s seen all Kurt has to offer and Kurt has come up wanting. Kurt starts to flush, looks over at Sebastian’s mother--who’s looking at him much as a shark might look at a fish it could eat but doesn’t want to for fear of stomachache.
Kurt shrinks back for a moment, feeling very small. Then he remembers his dad, his friends, Sebastian, Isabelle--even Blaine, who’ve all told him that he’s a good person, a fabulous person. He’s Kurt motherfucking Hummel, and these people might be important and rich and Sebastian’s parents, but they are not better than him, and they will not make him feel small. Kurt won’t allow it.
He stares down Sebastian’s mother, who turns her head with a delicate huff after a minute, then sweeps his gaze to Sebastian’s father--who has actually already turned to regard Sebastian.
“It’s good to see you looking so well, son,” Sebastian’s father says. “New York suits you as much as it suits your aunt.”
Sebastian’s mouth thins. “You look good as well, father,” he says without sincerity. His face relaxes a little as he turns to Kurt, gestures him forward. “May I introduce Kurt Hummel? He works with me at Aunt Isabelle’s company as an intern.”
Neither of Sebastian’s parents deign to offer a hand or a hello. Kurt grits his teeth. “Pleasure,” he spits out as politely as he can, “I’m sure.”
He sees Sebastian grin a little out of the corner of his eye and relaxes, temper fading.
“Lovely,” Mr. Smythe says, clearly not meaning it. He gives Kurt another long once-over and Kurt recognizes his look suddenly: it’s a Lima look, the one that says: oh it’s one of them. Kurt’s suddenly icy all over.
“You’ve made some interesting friends here, Sebastian,” Sebastian’s father says. “Tell me, Kurt, do you attend college nearby?”
Kurt grits his teeth, already knows the reaction to his answer. “No,” he says. “I live nearby with an old friend from high school who’s attending the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts.”
Sebastian’s father wrinkles his nose. “Ah,” he says. “Yes, I’ve met Ms. Tibbideaux several times. She’s a forceful woman--very set in her opinions.” His eyebrow raises. “Do you have any plans to attend school soon, Mr. Hummel?”
Kurt’s not sure how, but Mr. Hummel is starting to sound like an insult. “I’m not quite sure, Mr. Smythe,” Kurt says and injects as much polite disdain as he can into the title.
Sebastian’s father purses his lips. “You should pursue higher education, son,” he says. “After all, it’s not like there’s a future for you in this nonsense.” He waves a hand around them. “Or with singing showtunes.”
Kurt’s spine straightens--slow and sure, his cold fury unfurls. “Excuse me, Mr. Smythe,” he snaps and he’s satisfied to see Sebastian’s father’s attention focus on him. “But I happen to think there’s much satisfaction and success to gain from a career in fine arts as there is in any other job.”
Mr. Smythe’s eyes narrow. “Oh?” he asks, the dangerous edge to his voice warning Kurt. “Are you planning to go into this field then, Mr. Hummel?” He raises an eyebrow. “What exactly are your plans for the future?”
Kurt falters because this is a question he’s asked himself many times over the past weeks and has yet to find an answer to. “I like working here,” he says, and he knows and curses that it sounds weak.
Mr. Smythe senses victory and smiles a wide, shark grin. “Let me give you a hard truth, Mr. Hummel, in the interest of helping you: there is no future in a job such as this.” He gestures again to the room at large. “What exactly are any of you doing to benefit society, hm? You all flutter around, showing off your ridiculous outfits like it all means something more--trust me, Mr. Hummel, when I say it doesn’t. Fashion is a cheap, consumer art for the bored and unimaginative and the sooner people realize that the better.” He eyes Kurt, snorts. “I realize that your kind may not be able to access the higher circles of society, though, so maybe you’re content to be stuck here.”
“Father!” Sebastian snaps.
Kurt’s throat is tight, clogged. He sees out of the corner of his eye that Isabelle is pale, looks just as shocked Kurt feels. “I see,” he says, knows his voice is thick. “Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, Mr. Smythe.” He wants to say more, but he isn’t quite sure where to find the words.
There’s a touch at his elbow and Kurt turns to see Rachel and Brody there, both regarding him concern.
“Kurt,” Rachel says, eyes darting between the Smythes and him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Kurt can’t describe his overwhelming relief. “Yes, of course,” he says. He turns back to the Smythes. “If you’ll excuse me,” he says and lets Rachel tug him away.
“What the hell?” she hisses into his ear as she tugs him across the room, to one of the terrance doors and outside. Brody follows close on their heels. “Who were they?” Rachel demands once they’re out in the cold night air, alone.
“Sebastian’s parents,” Kurt says. His throat is still tight and he’s biting back on tears. “Who obviously have very strong opinions on what constitutes as a real job.”
“We only got the tail end of it,” Brody says, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”
Kurt takes a deep breath. “I’m fine,” he assures them. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, right? Everyone thinks that fashion and music will lead me nowhere. I’ll just have to prove them wrong, that’s all.” Kurt laughs, a touch bitter and sings with some irony, “I feel better when beguiling, find that fashion keeps me smiling, but in my heart I know it’s rather sad.”
Rachel sighs. “Kurt,” she says and then, because she is Rachel Berry, sings back, “That a life of great potential is dismissed as inconsequential.”
Kurt really loves Rachel sometimes, because it’s only when he’s with her that things like this happen. He smiles a little as he sings, “And only ever seen as being cute. So I’ll flutter to deceive--”
“Oh no, you must believe,” Rachel cuts in, taking his hand, eyes soft and sincere. “One day you’re bound to find . . .”
“A stronger suit,” they finish together and then hug, tightly.
“Does this always happen with you two?” Brody asked, bemused, as they pull apart. Rachel and Kurt laugh.
“Singing is how we deal with pain,” Kurt asserts. He takes a deep breath. “I can’t let that man get to me,” he tells Rachel. “He doesn’t know me and he doesn’t know anything about following your dreams, obviously, or he wouldn’t shit all over mine.”
“Actors probably make ten times his salary,” Rachel says, scornful.
Kurt winces. “Well, he’s a lawyer, so maybe not. But definitely a good point.” He sighs. “Sebastian was right, he really is impossible to talk to. I’d hoped that he was over-exaggerating or something because they were fighting and that I could help them make up, you know? But I think that’s impossible.”
Rachel’s about to reply when the door opens and Sebastian slips out. He goes immediately to Kurt, ignoring both Rachel and Brody.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “I’m sorry, I would never have brought you with me if I’d known he was going to--”
“It’s alright,” Kurt cuts in, smiling a little at Sebastian’s wide-eyed panic. “It’s nothing I’ve never heard before and Rachel helped me with the power of song.”
“It heals all wounds,” Rachel puts in, very serious.
“I see,” Sebastian says, mouth quirking. “Rachel, Brody, if I could have a moment alone with Kurt?”
Rachel and Brody both turn on Kurt with identical questioning looks and Kurt wonders if he should tell them that they’re spending too much time together.
“I’ll see you guys inside,” he assures them and they leave, hand in hand.
“I’m really sorry, Kurt,” Sebastian says again, running a hand through his hair. “I tried to rip him a new one after you left but he didn’t hear a word of it, just kept trying to talk to me about the firm.”
“I’m not very surprised,” Kurt admits. “But it’s alright.” He eyes Sebastian. “Do your parents know that you’re gay?” he asks.
“Yes,” Sebastian says, miserable. “But my dad, he . . .” Sebastian sighs. “Look, he’s not a clean-cut homophobe. He’s fine that I’m gay, but that’s only because I’m not obviously gay. He doesn’t like . . . .” He shoots Kurt an uncomfortable look.
“Flamers like me,” Kurt finishes, a tad bitter because this is something that he’s always had to deal with: well I’m fine with you being gay, but could you act like it a little less?
Sebastian winces. “Yes,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing for your jackass of a father,” Kurt snaps, irritated. Sebastian blinks at him, grins.
“Little bitch,” he says. “Look, we’ll just avoid him for the rest of the night now that we’ve done the necessary pleasantries.”
“Sounds good to me,” Kurt says. “I’d be happy if I never saw that man again, to be honest.”
“Oh, I understand the feeling,” Sebastian says. “Completely.” He holds out a hand for Kurt. “Shall we, darling?”
Kurt, feeling a little more composed, takes it and follows Sebastian inside.
-
The party ends anticlimactically--Sebastian and Kurt manage to avoid the Smythes for the rest of the night, though Kurt imagines that he can feel one or both them looking at him at one point or another.
Kurt’s never been more relieved to go home after a long day, if he’s honest, and he vows that next time Isabelle hosts a party he’s going to make sure that Sebastian’s parents will not be there.
Still, he reflects once he’s back in his bedroom, getting ready for sleep, it could have been worse. At least he’s learned more about Sebastian now--and, more importantly, Sebastian trusts him enough to tell him these things about himself. Kurt smiles a little at his reflection--he likes the thought of Sebastian trusting him with secrets. It makes Kurt feel very warm.
There’s a knock on his door. “Kurt?” Rachel says. “I know you’re about to go to sleep but I have a question for you.”
Kurt sighs. “Yes, Rachel?”
A long pause. “Do you like Sebastian?”
Kurt freezes, stares at his wide-eyed form in his mirror. Then he slumps. “Yes,” he admits, because he needs to tell someone.
Rachel sighs. “You never pick the easy choice, do you, Kurt?” she asks and Kurt laughs because it’s really so true.
-
It's the weekend before Kurt and Rachel's anticlimactic Christmas plans that an unexpected knock sounds on their door. Kurt glances over at Rachel, curled up on the couch with a textbook.
"Brody?" he asks, but Rachel shakes her head.
Kurt frowns, moves to the door, pointedly not remembering the last time someone had shown up unexpectedly on their doorstep. When he opens their door, his concern fades away as he's met with five familiar faces.
"Oh my God!" he exclaims and Mercedes launches herself at him, laughing.
"Did you think you'd get away without seeing us before the new year?" she asks as she presses him into a close hug. "I don't think so."
Quinn smiles at him over Mercedes' head. "Since you two were so busy, we decided to come visit you instead," she says. Kurt hears footsteps and the excited squeal that means Rachel has come up behind him and seen everyone. Quinn's smile deepens. "If that's alright."
"Of course it's alright!" Rachel exclaims, hurrying forward to hug everyone.
Mercedes lets Kurt go and he shares in several exuberant hugs of his own before they all separate. Rachel and Kurt usher everyone in and, after a stampede of getting shoes and coats and hats off, they all stand in their living room, taking it all in. Kurt realizes, a little amused, that he’s actually nervous about their opinions.
Puck is the first to speak. "So this is the pad, huh?” he says. "Pretty nice, actually. A lot better than my pit on the other side."
“I was expecting something with more cockroaches,” Quinn admits. “My roommate used to live in New York and she has all sorts of horror stories about the places she lived in.”
Kurt smiles, relaxes. "It's easier with a roommate. Rachel's and my parents help out sometimes too." He shrugs. “We kind of need it since both of us don’t really have an income.”
“That’s right,” Mike says, “I heard about internship from Artie. Congratulations, Kurt!”
“It’s not that big a deal,” Kurt demures, though his tone is playfully modest.
Santana hits him on the shoulder, but her smile is playful. "I can't believe you got it so fast!"
Kurt smiles at her and then, partly to see her reactions, says, "Brittany told me you're being considered for head cheerleader.” Santana’s flush is interesting. "That's great, what with you not being there long."
"You talk to Brit?" Santana asks, a curiously strained note in her voice.
Kurt notices everyone in their group exchanging looks and then pointedly floating away to different points in the room, making their own conversation. Kurt remembers what Artie told him about Santana and Brittany’s break-up and is grateful for their unexpected discretion.
Kurt shrugs. "Not often," he admits. "Just texting now and again." He hesitates, wonders if it's his place, then says, "She seems lonely."
Santana's eyes betray nothing. "Not anymore," she says. "She and Sam started dating."
Kurt blinks, taken aback: both Artie and Brittany never told him that. For a moment he wonders if Blaine feels smug, having Kurt's skepticism of "real" bisexuals shot down with such concrete evidence. He forces the thought away.
"I'm sorry," he says, not because he cares really if Brittany is bisexual and decided to date a man instead, but because he knows that pain in Santana's eyes, knows that she isn't over Brittany and it must hurt to see her with someone else, man or woman.
Santana smiles a little. "It's alright," she says. "I guess if it had to be anyone, she could do worse than trouty mouth."
"Sam is a good guy," Kurt says, meaning it even though his feelings on Sam are a little mixed at the moment. "He won't hurt her, not deliberately."
“Oh, I know,” Santana says, waves a hand. She eyes Kurt. “How’re you doing anyway, porcelain? I know you and Cary Grant broke up, but it seems like no one from the homeland has heard your side of the story except for Finnessa and he’s not talking.”
Kurt grimaces. “It was a bad break-up,” he admits, because when push comes to shove he and Santana are something like friends. “But I’m getting over it. Kind of.”
Something shifts in Santana’s expression. “You know the littlest gay still wants the D,” she says. “Your D. Are you not interested in that?”
Kurt rolls his eyes, but shakes his head. “I hope we can be friends,” he says, meaning it. “But I can’t be with him again, not now. Maybe in the future, if we’re both available and I feel like I can . . . .” He sighs.
“Like you can trust him again,” Santana finishes. “Well, shit. Brit’s going to be so disappointed. She was rooting for you guys to get back together.”
Kurt shrugs. “Everyone back home will probably be disappointed,” he says. “But my love life isn’t dictated by their feelings.”
Santana grins. “You go girl,” she says, pats Kurt on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s make sure Puckerman hasn’t broken anything yet.”
-
“So what do you crazy college kids do for fun around here?” Santana asks later, when they’ve all gathered on the living room floor to chat.
Kurt and Rachel exchange helpless looks. “Callbacks?” Rachel asks, more to Kurt than anyone else.
Kurt shrugs. It’s as good a place as any to take their friends.
“Callbacks?” Quinn repeats, eyebrow raising. “What’s that?”
part xi