December Challenge 15 - Like It Used to Be
Title - Like It Used to Be
Author - unwritten_ideas
Rating - PG
Word Count - 1,818
Characters - Gackt, You
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - neither Gackt nor You can sleep, and Gackt is hoping that things won't be like they used to be
You was hoping when he entered the bar in the hotel, that U:zo, Chef Izumi and the crew might still be carrying on the party. It was very late, 4am by his watch and the wake up calls had been scheduled for only a few hours later, but a lack of sleep and a hangover had never stopped the party before. He’d lost count of the number of mornings people had sleepwalked onto the tour bus and not surfaced until it had stopped at their next destination.
You was disappointed to see that the bar was devoid of any partying band or crew members, and was surprised to see just one solitary figure sat quietly at a table and staring into space.
Gackt.
The singer wasn’t doing anything. There was no Mac on the table before him, no ever present iPhone glued to his hand and not even a drink on the table. Gackt was staring at nothing, or at something You couldn’t see, and seemed oblivious to the world around him. It was only the agitated tap of his right foot against the wooden flooring of the bar that showed he was still awake.
You had taken the seat opposite Gackt and had been staring at him for five minutes before Gackt even realised he was there. Gackt didn’t say anything; he simply looked at You with wide eyes for a few seconds before looking away again.
“Are you okay?” You asked quietly.
“I’m fine,” Gackt answered abruptly.
“Why are you sitting in the bar on your own?”
Gackt turned to look at him. “I’m not alone. You’re here. I could ask you the same question.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” You answered. “I came to the bar in the hope of finding a drinking partner for a couple of hours.”
“Sorry,” Gackt said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s just me and I’m not drinking.”
You nodded. He already knew about Gackt’s resolution to not drink until the tour was over, and was frankly impressed by the singer’s willpower. Gackt’s sobriety was just another reason why he was so surprised to find him sitting alone in the bar at 4am.
“Exactly,” You said pointedly, “you’re not drinking, so why are you in the bar? We’re not sharing rooms in this hotel so you wouldn’t be disturbing anyone by staying in your hotel room.”
Gackt flinched slightly. “I was bored of staring at the same four walls.”
“So you thought you’d stare at these four walls instead?”
Gackt said nothing.
They fell into an awkward silence. Gackt was staring into thin air again, and You was staring at Gackt. The singer was obviously agitated and stressed about something and it was this that was keeping him awake, but You had known Gackt long enough to know his usual routine when he was suffering from insomnia and stress. Drinking, writing songs, one night stands, pointless internet surfing… those were his usual pursuits and none of them could be achieved by sitting in the bar on his own, but could easily be achieved in his hotel room.
So why had he left his room?
Suddenly, You knew the answer.
“It’s happened again, hasn’t it?” You whispered.
The harsh set of Gackt’s jaw and the way his eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds before opening again told You that he was right, despite Gackt not answering.
“In your hotel room?” You asked softly.
It took Gackt sometime to answer, but finally he did. “Yes.”
“What was it this time?”
Gackt bit his lip, his teeth tugging on his full lower lip as he considered whether he should answer the question or not. This was another routine that You knew well. Gackt hated to talk about this subject, but knew that he had to for his own sanity, so it always sparked this little war inside Gackt’s mind. To talk about it was to acknowledge not only the subject’s existence, but how much it still freaked him out.
Acknowledging that he was still shit scared, after all of these years, was a weakness Gackt never wanted to admit to.
“A girl,” Gackt answered finally. “A young girl. Maybe eight or nine years old.”
You sighed. He could only imagine what Gackt was feeling right now - it was always worse when it was kids. “Did she say anything?”
Gackt looked at You, his natural brown eyes tinged red through a lack of sleep. “She was calling for her mother.”
You couldn’t find anything to say. He smiled apologetically at Gackt, the gesture both an apology that he’d asked the question, and that Gackt had been in a position to answer.
Maybe You should have been used to this by now. Ever since he’d met Gackt all of those years ago in Kyoto, he’d heard stories like this. You had never believed in ghosts or spirits, or even given them much thought, until one night a cold and still shaking Gackt had been left with no choice but to tell You about the spirit he’d seen walking through the recording studio because You was the only person there to tell.
So many thoughts had run through You’s head. Maybe his new friend was drunk. Or high. Or crazy. But, he’d been with Gackt all day and night and knew the other man wasn’t drunk. He knew Gackt was no drug addict, and the clarity and conviction with which Gackt had spoken as he had described what he had seen had convinced You that Gackt was perfectly sane.
You had been forced to re-evaluate a lot of things, that night.
Over the years the spirits came and went. They seemed to haunt Gackt more when he was stressed or ill, as if the weakness in Gackt’s usually strong body allowed them to enter. It had been several years though, the Drug Party tour if You remembered correctly, since he could remember Gackt seeing anything. He’d forgotten that Gackt ever could see anything at all.
So had Gackt, probably. No wonder Gackt seemed so agitated.
“Why now?” Gackt’s voice was quiet, but the bar was silent and empty enough for it to be heard. “It’s been so long.”
“Stress of the tour?” You suggested. “Or of adding a second vocalist and the crowd reaction to it?”
Gackt shook his head. “I know when I’m stressed, and I haven’t been stressed this tour. I haven’t been ill either. So far, this has been the easiest tour in recent memory for me. It makes no sense.”
“Maybe she was a really strong spirit who’s been waiting for someone for so long, that she could break through to you anyway?” You paused. “I don’t know how this works.”
“And you think I do?” Gackt snapped.
“I didn’t say that…” You began.
Gackt interrupted him. “I know you didn’t and I’m sorry. I just thought this had passed.” Gackt’s voice lowered. “I don’t want to go back to...”
...seeing ghosts around every corner again.
You didn’t need Gackt to finish his sentence to know what he was going to say.
“Do you want to swap rooms?” You asked. “I’ll take yours, and you can have mine.”
Gackt shook his head. “It won’t make a difference. She was so scared and lonely, You. She just wanted someone to help her find her mother. I spoke to her before I even realised what I was doing. Now she knows that I can see her, she’ll follow me to any other room I go to. They always do. That’s why I need to be somewhere there are other people,” Gackt said as he gestured towards the half asleep staff member behind the bar, “they don’t bother me as much then.”
“Well,” You said, scratching the back of his neck as he thought, “you can’t stay down here all night.”
“I had a couple of hours sleep,” Gackt explained, “I’ll be fine.”
“Tonight, maybe,” You said, “but we’re here tomorrow night too.”
Gackt sighed. “I forgot about that.”
They fell into silence again. Gackt had been healthier and more relaxed this tour than You had seen him in a long time. Having Jon on stage was lightening the load on Gackt’s broad shoulders, despite the initial worries about the fan reaction, but that could be so easily undone. A couple of sleepless nights and the stress that always came from seeing ghosts would easily be enough to put Gackt in the hospital again.
Which would just make matters so much worse.
You knew what he had to say. It had just been so long… he didn’t know if Gackt’s pride would allow him to accept the offer anymore. “We could share a room,” You suggested quietly.
Gackt stared at him. “You said it yourself You, we’re not sharing rooms in this hotel. We don’t need to.”
“Yeah,” You said softly, “but they always left you alone if you were with me, didn’t they?” You didn't need to clarify what he meant by they.
Gackt couldn’t disagree with You’s statement. However, he couldn’t accept the offer either. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“So you’ll be okay to go back to that room on your own tomorrow then?” You said, his voice still soft but a little more forceful than before.
Gackt scowled at him and stared into space again.
“Jeez, Gaku,” You said, “I didn’t see the girl and wouldn’t be able to anyway, but I wouldn’t be happy going back to your room alone after what you’ve said. I don’t know how you’ve held it together all of these years.”
“So why did you offer to swap rooms?” Gackt asked.
You sighed. “Because those... things... you see aren’t in my world. They scare me, but they can’t touch me, or speak to me, or interact with me in any way. But, they’re in your world. I think you need to be further away from them than me.”
“Why do they scare you, if you can’t interact with them?”
It took You a few moments to answer. “Because they can interact with you. I don’t think I could sleep if I allowed you to go back to that room alone. So really, you’d be doing me a favour by sharing a room with me.”
Gackt understood You’s words for what they were - a way for Gackt to say yes, without compromising his pride. Gackt couldn’t help but smile. “Well, if it’d help you.”
“It would,” You smiled. He stood up, and the smile fell from his face. “I’m sure this is a one off, Gaku. It won’t be like it used to be.”
“I hope not,” Gackt said. “And I don’t want anyone else to know about this. Especially not the new members.”
“Of course,” You promised, “just me and you.”
“Just like it used to be,” Gackt said sadly as he followed You out of the bar, and up to You’s hotel room.
~owari
Notes
1) I've been itching to do a ghost story for months, but could never think of an angle for it
Author - unwritten_ideas
Rating - PG
Word Count - 1,818
Characters - Gackt, You
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - neither Gackt nor You can sleep, and Gackt is hoping that things won't be like they used to be
You was hoping when he entered the bar in the hotel, that U:zo, Chef Izumi and the crew might still be carrying on the party. It was very late, 4am by his watch and the wake up calls had been scheduled for only a few hours later, but a lack of sleep and a hangover had never stopped the party before. He’d lost count of the number of mornings people had sleepwalked onto the tour bus and not surfaced until it had stopped at their next destination.
You was disappointed to see that the bar was devoid of any partying band or crew members, and was surprised to see just one solitary figure sat quietly at a table and staring into space.
Gackt.
The singer wasn’t doing anything. There was no Mac on the table before him, no ever present iPhone glued to his hand and not even a drink on the table. Gackt was staring at nothing, or at something You couldn’t see, and seemed oblivious to the world around him. It was only the agitated tap of his right foot against the wooden flooring of the bar that showed he was still awake.
You had taken the seat opposite Gackt and had been staring at him for five minutes before Gackt even realised he was there. Gackt didn’t say anything; he simply looked at You with wide eyes for a few seconds before looking away again.
“Are you okay?” You asked quietly.
“I’m fine,” Gackt answered abruptly.
“Why are you sitting in the bar on your own?”
Gackt turned to look at him. “I’m not alone. You’re here. I could ask you the same question.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” You answered. “I came to the bar in the hope of finding a drinking partner for a couple of hours.”
“Sorry,” Gackt said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s just me and I’m not drinking.”
You nodded. He already knew about Gackt’s resolution to not drink until the tour was over, and was frankly impressed by the singer’s willpower. Gackt’s sobriety was just another reason why he was so surprised to find him sitting alone in the bar at 4am.
“Exactly,” You said pointedly, “you’re not drinking, so why are you in the bar? We’re not sharing rooms in this hotel so you wouldn’t be disturbing anyone by staying in your hotel room.”
Gackt flinched slightly. “I was bored of staring at the same four walls.”
“So you thought you’d stare at these four walls instead?”
Gackt said nothing.
They fell into an awkward silence. Gackt was staring into thin air again, and You was staring at Gackt. The singer was obviously agitated and stressed about something and it was this that was keeping him awake, but You had known Gackt long enough to know his usual routine when he was suffering from insomnia and stress. Drinking, writing songs, one night stands, pointless internet surfing… those were his usual pursuits and none of them could be achieved by sitting in the bar on his own, but could easily be achieved in his hotel room.
So why had he left his room?
Suddenly, You knew the answer.
“It’s happened again, hasn’t it?” You whispered.
The harsh set of Gackt’s jaw and the way his eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds before opening again told You that he was right, despite Gackt not answering.
“In your hotel room?” You asked softly.
It took Gackt sometime to answer, but finally he did. “Yes.”
“What was it this time?”
Gackt bit his lip, his teeth tugging on his full lower lip as he considered whether he should answer the question or not. This was another routine that You knew well. Gackt hated to talk about this subject, but knew that he had to for his own sanity, so it always sparked this little war inside Gackt’s mind. To talk about it was to acknowledge not only the subject’s existence, but how much it still freaked him out.
Acknowledging that he was still shit scared, after all of these years, was a weakness Gackt never wanted to admit to.
“A girl,” Gackt answered finally. “A young girl. Maybe eight or nine years old.”
You sighed. He could only imagine what Gackt was feeling right now - it was always worse when it was kids. “Did she say anything?”
Gackt looked at You, his natural brown eyes tinged red through a lack of sleep. “She was calling for her mother.”
You couldn’t find anything to say. He smiled apologetically at Gackt, the gesture both an apology that he’d asked the question, and that Gackt had been in a position to answer.
Maybe You should have been used to this by now. Ever since he’d met Gackt all of those years ago in Kyoto, he’d heard stories like this. You had never believed in ghosts or spirits, or even given them much thought, until one night a cold and still shaking Gackt had been left with no choice but to tell You about the spirit he’d seen walking through the recording studio because You was the only person there to tell.
So many thoughts had run through You’s head. Maybe his new friend was drunk. Or high. Or crazy. But, he’d been with Gackt all day and night and knew the other man wasn’t drunk. He knew Gackt was no drug addict, and the clarity and conviction with which Gackt had spoken as he had described what he had seen had convinced You that Gackt was perfectly sane.
You had been forced to re-evaluate a lot of things, that night.
Over the years the spirits came and went. They seemed to haunt Gackt more when he was stressed or ill, as if the weakness in Gackt’s usually strong body allowed them to enter. It had been several years though, the Drug Party tour if You remembered correctly, since he could remember Gackt seeing anything. He’d forgotten that Gackt ever could see anything at all.
So had Gackt, probably. No wonder Gackt seemed so agitated.
“Why now?” Gackt’s voice was quiet, but the bar was silent and empty enough for it to be heard. “It’s been so long.”
“Stress of the tour?” You suggested. “Or of adding a second vocalist and the crowd reaction to it?”
Gackt shook his head. “I know when I’m stressed, and I haven’t been stressed this tour. I haven’t been ill either. So far, this has been the easiest tour in recent memory for me. It makes no sense.”
“Maybe she was a really strong spirit who’s been waiting for someone for so long, that she could break through to you anyway?” You paused. “I don’t know how this works.”
“And you think I do?” Gackt snapped.
“I didn’t say that…” You began.
Gackt interrupted him. “I know you didn’t and I’m sorry. I just thought this had passed.” Gackt’s voice lowered. “I don’t want to go back to...”
...seeing ghosts around every corner again.
You didn’t need Gackt to finish his sentence to know what he was going to say.
“Do you want to swap rooms?” You asked. “I’ll take yours, and you can have mine.”
Gackt shook his head. “It won’t make a difference. She was so scared and lonely, You. She just wanted someone to help her find her mother. I spoke to her before I even realised what I was doing. Now she knows that I can see her, she’ll follow me to any other room I go to. They always do. That’s why I need to be somewhere there are other people,” Gackt said as he gestured towards the half asleep staff member behind the bar, “they don’t bother me as much then.”
“Well,” You said, scratching the back of his neck as he thought, “you can’t stay down here all night.”
“I had a couple of hours sleep,” Gackt explained, “I’ll be fine.”
“Tonight, maybe,” You said, “but we’re here tomorrow night too.”
Gackt sighed. “I forgot about that.”
They fell into silence again. Gackt had been healthier and more relaxed this tour than You had seen him in a long time. Having Jon on stage was lightening the load on Gackt’s broad shoulders, despite the initial worries about the fan reaction, but that could be so easily undone. A couple of sleepless nights and the stress that always came from seeing ghosts would easily be enough to put Gackt in the hospital again.
Which would just make matters so much worse.
You knew what he had to say. It had just been so long… he didn’t know if Gackt’s pride would allow him to accept the offer anymore. “We could share a room,” You suggested quietly.
Gackt stared at him. “You said it yourself You, we’re not sharing rooms in this hotel. We don’t need to.”
“Yeah,” You said softly, “but they always left you alone if you were with me, didn’t they?” You didn't need to clarify what he meant by they.
Gackt couldn’t disagree with You’s statement. However, he couldn’t accept the offer either. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“So you’ll be okay to go back to that room on your own tomorrow then?” You said, his voice still soft but a little more forceful than before.
Gackt scowled at him and stared into space again.
“Jeez, Gaku,” You said, “I didn’t see the girl and wouldn’t be able to anyway, but I wouldn’t be happy going back to your room alone after what you’ve said. I don’t know how you’ve held it together all of these years.”
“So why did you offer to swap rooms?” Gackt asked.
You sighed. “Because those... things... you see aren’t in my world. They scare me, but they can’t touch me, or speak to me, or interact with me in any way. But, they’re in your world. I think you need to be further away from them than me.”
“Why do they scare you, if you can’t interact with them?”
It took You a few moments to answer. “Because they can interact with you. I don’t think I could sleep if I allowed you to go back to that room alone. So really, you’d be doing me a favour by sharing a room with me.”
Gackt understood You’s words for what they were - a way for Gackt to say yes, without compromising his pride. Gackt couldn’t help but smile. “Well, if it’d help you.”
“It would,” You smiled. He stood up, and the smile fell from his face. “I’m sure this is a one off, Gaku. It won’t be like it used to be.”
“I hope not,” Gackt said. “And I don’t want anyone else to know about this. Especially not the new members.”
“Of course,” You promised, “just me and you.”
“Just like it used to be,” Gackt said sadly as he followed You out of the bar, and up to You’s hotel room.
~owari
Notes
1) I've been itching to do a ghost story for months, but could never think of an angle for it