#33.
My god. Today just pissed me off like no other. This really isn't fair; I'm trying to be happy here but no, of course that could never happen. No, because I'm the worst, and most irresponsible daughter who lies alot and can never do anything right and I fuck everything up. I'm a shitty friend because I take my friends for granted and never tell them anything, I'm never good enough because apparently, boys just think of me as a "really good friend" when they see me and nothing more, which kind of hurts like hell. When asked if they can ever see me as a "possible date for memory" or whatever, I always hear, "Hahahahahah. HELL NO. NEVER IN A MLILION YEARS." What am I doing wrong? What do I need to change. My god, if you'd just tell me. And to top it all off my goldfishes fucking died because I haven't fed them in four weeks.
I am stressed out. Upset. and really really mad. And for a few hours, being at the NJHS thing, made me momentarily forget about this stockpile of things that are bothering me, but just my luck, the minute I get in the car I get bitched at for "upsetting my dear mom" who loves to take things out on me just because she hates me. But no, never Meg. Never yell at Meg because she's a goody two shoes and far more responsible that I will ever be. She does more, because I am lazy and just sit and do nothing allllllll day.
Forget the fact that I'm the only one who helped with the painting last week. Forget the fact that I do not throw bitch fits whenever they dont let me go out, which is often. Forget the fact that I've been trying so hard to make my mom happy because I know the people at work are treating her like shit.
No, I do one small thing wrong and all the things I've done right are forgotten just like that.
I am stressed out. Upset. and really really mad. And for a few hours, being at the NJHS thing, made me momentarily forget about this stockpile of things that are bothering me, but just my luck, the minute I get in the car I get bitched at for "upsetting my dear mom" who loves to take things out on me just because she hates me. But no, never Meg. Never yell at Meg because she's a goody two shoes and far more responsible that I will ever be. She does more, because I am lazy and just sit and do nothing allllllll day.
Forget the fact that I'm the only one who helped with the painting last week. Forget the fact that I do not throw bitch fits whenever they dont let me go out, which is often. Forget the fact that I've been trying so hard to make my mom happy because I know the people at work are treating her like shit.
No, I do one small thing wrong and all the things I've done right are forgotten just like that.