314 / excerpts from various notes strewn across the bedroom floor.
CHRISTMAS EVE OF 07:
and i know I should be amped about it but I just can't bring myself to be because it feels...familiar. The bad kind. The ones where its like 'oh this happened before and its bound to end in disappointment'. I don't know what compels us to make promises we don't intend to keep during bouts of silences - or at times when we want to say something but are at a loss of exactly what to say.
Found that under entry1.txt on my Writing folder in my computer just now, since I'm going through a mass delete of all the shit I wrote and never got to finish/have no hopes of finishing. I'm sitting here awed at just how fucking ironic my life truly is (and I say this alot but it's TRUE). I dreamt about this last night. Not what I wrote but about what I wrote and it was weird because it hasn't crossed my mind in months and then WHAM! I found this, and is this some kind of omen, or something? Because I was kind of hoping I was past all of this already.
PS: Laziness due to the thought of Christmas Syndrome has officially set in. I can not be motivated to do ANYTHING. Now I'm wondering why the hell I volunteered to chair a committee in StuCo. I don't know how I could possibly bring myself to care, not when break is sosososososo close
and i know I should be amped about it but I just can't bring myself to be because it feels...familiar. The bad kind. The ones where its like 'oh this happened before and its bound to end in disappointment'. I don't know what compels us to make promises we don't intend to keep during bouts of silences - or at times when we want to say something but are at a loss of exactly what to say.
Found that under entry1.txt on my Writing folder in my computer just now, since I'm going through a mass delete of all the shit I wrote and never got to finish/have no hopes of finishing. I'm sitting here awed at just how fucking ironic my life truly is (and I say this alot but it's TRUE). I dreamt about this last night. Not what I wrote but about what I wrote and it was weird because it hasn't crossed my mind in months and then WHAM! I found this, and is this some kind of omen, or something? Because I was kind of hoping I was past all of this already.
PS: Laziness due to the thought of Christmas Syndrome has officially set in. I can not be motivated to do ANYTHING. Now I'm wondering why the hell I volunteered to chair a committee in StuCo. I don't know how I could possibly bring myself to care, not when break is sosososososo close