Dissonance: Chapter Eleven
Title: Dissonance
Fandom: Naruto
Rated: 15+
Pairings: Itachi/Naruto, mentioned Neji/Shikamaru, Ino/Sakura and Kiba/Hinata
Disclaimer: I don't Naruto or any of the song lyrics/videos within this story.
Summary: AU. ItaNaru. Naruto is the new kid at Konoha Academy of the Arts and he's got some pretty dark secrets. And when his past comes back to haunt him, he won't be able to keep them hidden for very long.
Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three l Chapter Four l Chapter Five l Chapter Six l Chapter Seven l Chapter Eight l Chapter Nine l Chapter Ten
-
Dissonance
Chapter Eleven: Mirrors
The language of friendship is not words but meanings. (Henry David Thoreau)
Friendship is a sheltering tree. (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
Faith, he had learned that night in front of the flickering television, was most glorious when it was most untouched by reason. (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is. (William P. Merrill)
And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time. (The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray)
"He meant the God behind the music. Not what men had turned God into, but the God behind everything. Think about it. The most beautiful art, music, even architecture-most of it was inspired by a devotion to the divine." (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
Always seek to understand before passing judgement. (Mordred, Bastard Son)
"Religion is simple," Simon answered. "It's the religious who make it complicated. Everybody wants to be right." (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
Music is what life sounds like. (Eric Olson)
Konoha Academy of the Arts
November 5th, 2007
Red was Gaara's color of choice. Bright red - the color of his hair and the color of the blood that still stained his hands after all this time. But today he was working with tan. He didn't know why the urge to paint in the color came to him, but Gaara was never one to ignore his urges. Tan was the color of sand, the color of his birthplace in the desert of Arizona. It was a peaceful color, Gaara thought, though he doubted many others would think so. Maybe you had to live in the desert to understand the appeal of the color tan.
He heard the door to the art room creak open but he didn't look up from his work. Likely it was just a student coming in to pick up a piece - they'd ignore him and be gone as quickly as they'd come in. A faint frown wrinkled Gaara's forehead when he realized that the footsteps of the intruder were heading towards him. Carefully, he added the last dab of paint and set down his brush before turning.
"Gaa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, his bright eyes happy. Gaara blinked. Out of all the people he'd thought to be behind him, Naruto hadn't even entered the equation. He'd never seen the blond outside of the music division - in fact, he thought that Naruto rarely wandered into the literature and art division of the school. A nearly invisible eyebrow rose and Naruto picked up on the silent question.
"Finding you was easy - I just asked one of the art students where the famed Gaara Sabaku painted after school and she pointed me in the right direction. I think she thought you might kill me though - she looked very worried." A smile danced on Naruto's lips. Gaara snorted lightly. Likely the student had thought Gaara would tear Naruto to bits for daring to interrupt his work.
"Anyhow, I came to see how you're doing," Naruto said with a beaming smile. "Hey, is that a new painting? Can I see it?" he added, eyeing the newly finished painting Gaara had done. It was faced away from the blond, so he couldn't see what it was of clearly. Gaara eyed Naruto for a moment. He hadn't shown Naruto any of his artwork since the first day they'd met and Naruto had accidentally picked up a sketch. Gaara had never really shared his artwork with others unless it was absolutely necessary. But Naruto was like him, and he had shared his music with Gaara.
Almost hesitantly, Gaara turned the painting to face Naruto.
Naruto studied the picture intently. The paintings background was of a desert night - the cool, flat planes of an American desert and the dark blue color that the sky turned above it. Some withered vegetation stood in the corner of the painting. But what was the main focus was the pair of eyes staring out from the black sky - they were exotically shaped, almost in an animal like way, and the iris was gold while the whites were colored black. Beneath the eyes there was a small, almost unnoticeable figure of a person - Naruto figured it to be a child, since it was too short to be an adult. The eyes had been placed in such a way that they seemed to be looking down at the child. Naruto shivered lightly. It was a bit of a creepy piece, but it was beautiful as well. Gaara definitely had talent.
"I like it," he said truthfully. "But the eyes . . . do they represent something?"
Gaara hesitated for a long moment before saying, "Shukaku."
Naruto blinked and then understood. The eyes were Shukaku, which meant that the figure had to be . . . "It's you," he said, reaching out to place a finger on the tiny person in the painted world. A hand on his wrist stopped him and he looked to see Gaara staring at him.
"The paint's still wet," he remarked and Naruto pulled away.
"Sorry," he said, his eyes returning back to the painting. "Was this how you felt all those years? As if you were constantly being watched?"
Gaara gave a nearly inaudible sigh. "Yes," he said simply, not willing to share more. He had never gone into the details of what his life was like with Shukaku with Naruto. He didn't feel the need to.
Naruto looked up at him with sad blue eyes. "Me too," he remarked and Gaara felt a sting in his heart. 'Exactly the same,' he thought, almost sadly. He liked having a person that understood him, but he also wished that Naruto hadn't had to go through a life similar to his own. It was a strange mixture of feelings, and Gaara wondered if all friendships were so complicated. He wouldn't know; Naruto was his first friend. "Kyuubi didn't like to see me talk to anyone else," Naruto continued, his eyes turning back to the painting. "He was always watching me. I felt suffocated under him."
Gaara's eyes softened. Hesitantly (he had never been put in the role of the comforter before) he placed a hand on Naruto's shoulders. The blond smiled up at him and placed a hand over Gaara's. His fingers were warm - much warmer than Gaara's hand. The red-head's skin had always been icy cold, even in the midst of summer.
"Thanks, Gaara," Naruto said, and Gaara frowned slightly. He hadn't helped at all! All he'd done was put a hand on Naruto's shoulder - he doubted that comforted the blond much. But Naruto smiled again and as if he was reading Gaara's thoughts, he said, "You are helping Gaara. Just knowing that there's someone who understands . . . that helps. You know?" Gaara nodded; he did know.
"So - how are you doing?" Naruto said, turning cheerful and while Gaara frowned inwardly at the sudden change he let it pass. He shrugged in answer to Naruto's question and the blond sighed.
"Why am I always friends with the quiet ones?" he asked aloud in mock irritation and Gaara felt a smile twitch at the edge of his mouth without his consent. Naruto, apparently, caught the twitch, for his blue eyes widened.
"Was that - a smile? From the feared Gaara Sabaku? If you did that in front of the whole school, I'd bet at least three-fourths of them would faint from the shock of it. Even from just a little twitchy smile."
Gaara scowled, determined to reassert his angry and stoic personality. Naruto just laughed. "Oh no, my friend, you can't hide from me! You may act all tough and angry, but on the inside you're just a big, gooey, softy!" He poked Gaara in the chest with a delighted sparkle in his eye. Unbidden, Gaara's features softened. Naruto wasn't playacting cheerfulness now - instead, he was genuinely happy. Gaara was glad for it, even if it was at the expense of his dignity.
"So, Gaa-chan . . . what do you say to breaking into the newspaper room and making your smile the headline news? I can just see the title now - FEARSOME GAARA SABAKU, CUDDLY AS A KOALA. I'll be sure to add that everyone should feel free to call you Gaa-chan because that's the name you secretly yearn to hear . . . ."
Gaara groaned inwardly. Or maybe it wasn't worth it.
The auditorium and silent and dark when Hinata arrived. She'd practiced in the room long enough to know where the lights were, so she flicked them on, flooding the large stage with brilliant beams. Since this was the smaller auditorium of the two Konoha had, the stage was smaller, though even that was large. Hinata didn't really care about that though - there was no one there to watch her, not that she wanted anyone. Hinata had always been content to play for herself - music was soothed her soul; she didn't sing because it pleased others, but because it pleased her.
The piano she usually used had been backed into a corner since her last visit, but it had wheels on the bottom of its four legs, making it easy to cart around the stage. Hinata carefully rolled it out center stage - it was the best place to see her music clearly, especially if she tilted the front of the piano towards the audience so that the stage lights shone clearly on the paper. It also gave her the added advantage of keeping the lights from shining directly in her eyes. Hinata placed the sheet music for her current choir songs and songs that she'd wanted to practice personally on the stand. Then she sank into the comfortable piano chair and sighed.
It had been about three weeks since her disastrous "coming out" to her family, but it still played in Hinata's mind constantly. She would never forget the furious words of her father when he'd dragged her into his personal office to yell at her for her choice in life.
"No daughter of mine will be acting like that!" he'd yelled. "You will stop this nonsense at once, or you are no longer welcomed in my household!"
Hinata had wanted to cry then. It had all happened like she thought it would. Some part of her had wished that her family would embrace her with open arms instead of locked hearts, but they had held true to what she knew would happen. There was no room for new things in the Hyuuga household. Hinata would never know what had given her the courage to answer back to her father.
"I will never stop! You are my father, and I love you, but if you can't support me in this, then I wouldn't want to live in this house anyway!" she'd said. She regretted those words now - she had never spoken harshly to her father, and she had seen how it had shocked him. But before he could say anything more, she'd thrown herself out of the room, too upset to talk to him anymore. She'd been out of the house the next day, with two suitcases and a backpack with her.
Hinata hadn't known where she was going to go - she'd worried about it during the entire day of school. She knew that after she picked up her bags from her old room, she would no longer be allowed inside of the Hyuuga compound. She would be an outsider in the family she'd grown up with, a pariah. But, after she got her things, where would she go? Hinata had never lived in the world without the warmth of her family to support her. Now that that was gone, she had found herself terrified. 'Is this what it means to be an adult?' she'd thought.
Neji had come unexpectedly to her rescue. She'd never thought her cousin cared much for her, but she was proven wrong when he'd come to her while she finished packing and carefully explained that he had a friend named Tenten who would be willing to take her in for however long she needed. Hinata could have cried with relief, but instead gave Neji a tight hug that made the usually emotionally-repressed teenager stiff and awkward for the rest of the day.
Hinata sighed again. Everything in her life had changed so much in the last few weeks. Before she used to be the "good" daughter, the one who did everything right - now she had yelled at her father, moved out of her house, and was living with one of her cousin's best friends, who hoped to one day follow in her father's footsteps and make weapons for a living. No, nothing was as it had been before. Hinata liked some of the changes, but there were some things that she missed. Her family. Her old home. The comfort.
Hinata shook her head and turned to the piano. She'd made her decision; there was no looking back. Instead she focused her attention on the sheet music in front of her. She didn't know what she wanted to sing first - she had choir songs to practice and memorize, and songs that she personally wanted to learn. But she felt in the mood for a song she'd known for a long time, so she began the opening bars.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, have I got it?
'Cause mirror you've always told me
Who I am. I'm finding it's not easy
To be perfect
So sorry, you won't define me
Sorry, you don't own me
Who are you to tell me that I am less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try. No, no, I won't try."
Hinata's voice didn't have the husky charisma of Alyson Barlow, but it was sweet and sure, and had its own charm to it. In the empty auditorium it rang clearly, echoing slightly. Her fingers moved across the keys, creating the simple background to the powerful lyrics. Hinata wished she knew someone who would play the guitar or drums for her - the song sounded much more dramatic with those two instruments backing it. But it was just her and the piano.
"Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of he who made me
And to him I am beauty beyond compare
I know, he defines me. Yeah yeah
Who are you to tell me that I am less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
You don't define me
You don't define me
You don't define me
You don't define me
Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try, No
I won't try
Yeah, yeah
Who are you to tell me I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you..?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of the things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try."
Hinata's fingers ceased their movements and for a moment her dark head bowed. She closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. The song touched on so many emotions that she'd felt under the suffocation of her family's expectations . . . so many things that she'd suppressed when she tried to be "perfect".
"Hinata-chan!" a voice called out and Hinata turned to see Naruto standing in the doorway of the auditorium, beaming for all he was worth. He skipped down the stars two at a time and hurried onto the stage. "Finally!" he cried out. "I haven't seen you for so long!"
Hinata blinked. She'd never had anyone care about whether they saw her or not during the day; even at school, she was a bit of a loner, too shy to make any actual friends. Despite what adults may think, making friends in high school is much, much harder than it is in the lower grades. People already formed their own groups, and it was difficult to join them. Hinata had never tried, and so she'd been alone for much of her high school career.
"I was . . . busy," she said hesitantly.
Naruto nodded. "That's alright," he said. "I should've looked for you sooner anyhow. But I wanted to know - did you sort out that thing with your family?" His eyes were curious but, to Hinata's surprise, not pushy.
"Yes," she said simply. "I made my choice." She drew in a shuddering breath and Naruto nodded again, obviously understanding what that choice had been.
"Do you regret it?" he asked, and there was something in his voice that made Hinata wonder about the choices Naruto had made during his life.
Hinata thought about it. Did she regret it? Would she change the life she had now - confusing and strange as it was - for the perfect, suffocating life she'd led under her family's iron rule? Now she would have a chance to be herself, to sing the music she loved. But, with that chance, she'd lost her family. But wasn't life full of that kind of choice? You can't be on both sides of the fence. Hinata had followed her heart, and to her surprise . . .
"I don't regret it," she said firmly, louder than she'd possibly ever been outside of the choir room. "I feel sad that I lost my family but . . . I don't regret making my choice." Naruto's eyes softened.
"That's good," he said, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Hinata smiled at him.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I think so." And she looked between the keys below her and the boy beside her and marveled at who she had become.
Sasuke Uchiha was beginning to get frustrated.
He hadn't been sure what he would find when he looked into Naruto Uzumaki's background, but it certainly hadn't been the complete lack of details he'd managed to collect. The only thing he knew for certain was that Naruto had been born in Japan and brought to America when he was nine. Other than that, there was no information on the blond; not about his parents, where he lived in Japan, his previous guardians, previous schools . . . . It was like he'd come out of thin air. And if that wasn't suspicious, than Sasuke wasn't an Uchiha.
He growled in his throat, throwing himself away from the library computer. It was less focused than the computer at his own home, but also less likely to be traced back to him. After all, if someone found out about what he did on there, he could say that someone had hacked into his school account. Who wouldn't believe an Uchiha above everyone else? Sasuke snorted and then turned, only to find himself face to face with Shikamaru, who looked uncommonly awake.
"Sasuke," Shikamaru said neutrally. Sasuke's brow furrowed.
"Shikamaru," he answered back with a mocking edge. "What do you want?"
Shikamaru gave a long-suffering sigh. "Troublesome. It'd be better to get this over with quickly . . . . What are you doing, looking into Naruto's past?"
Sasuke blinked, then frowned. "Why would I be interested in that dobe," he hissed out.
Shikamaru gave him a long look. "I've been here for a while, you know," he pointed out. "And I was shamelessly watching over your shoulder as you tried to pry out information on Naruto. There's no use in denying it."
Sasuke growled. "What does it matter to you? Afraid I might find something bad about your new buddy?" He sneered, refusing to admit the sting of hurt he'd felt at seeing Shikamaru more and more with Naruto.
Shikamaru sighed again. "No. I know everything about Naruto's past, Sasuke . . . . Nothing you could find would shock me. But I'm telling you to stay out of it. This is too big of a web to get tangled in."
Shikamaru, though he would deny it, was protective of the people he cared about. Sasuke, ass or not, was one of those people, and he refused to let the Uchiha get tangled in Naruto's past. Especially with Kyuubi lurking around, jumping for the chance to play with someone's mind. He only wished that Naruto had the choice to get away from his past as well.
"I'll do what I want," Sasuke hissed. "Neither you nor Uzumaki can tell me what to do!" His hand clenched into a fist and then he whirled away from Shikamaru, stalking away to the doors. Shikamaru watched him go well aware, after several years of knowing Sasuke, that there was nothing else he could say that would get through that thick head of his. He shook his own head, making his high ponytail swing gently.
"Troublesome."
The school was empty, as far as Itachi could tell, but there were probably a few students tucked away into various corners. Like the one he was on his way to see, for example. Itachi knew that Naruto had returned from his recent trip, and if he knew the blond he'd be in his practice room, playing. But then, when wasn't Naruto making music?
Itachi wasn't sure why he wanted to see Naruto. He hadn't missed the blond . . . not really. He'd thought of him a few times over the weekend, but Itachi dismissed that as simple sympathy towards what he knew the blond had to be going through after seeing his mother's grave for so long. There'd been some sort of ache in Itachi's chest as he thought of Naruto sad, but the Uchiha knew that it had nothing to do with Naruto. Perhaps he'd just eaten something strange . . . after all, it had been Madara's turn to cook that night.
Itachi sighed and hurried towards the practice rooms. Sure enough, when he approached Naruto's regular room he could hear the strains of music through the door. Naruto had just begun to sing a new piece, a modern song with a steady, strumming guitar background, and Itachi wondered where Naruto had gotten the guitar. Perhaps Jiraiya (who was well-known as Naruto's guardian after the blond had announced it to the Orchestra) had given him it.
"I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright."
Itachi opened the door quietly and leaned against the frame, watching Naruto play. As usual, the blond had his eyes closed, and his head bent forward, fingers plucking almost absently to the strings of a rather well-worn guitar. His dark jacket (not a necessary item to wear, but one most students chose to in the chilly winter months) was thrown to the side over the piano, and his formal white shirt had been unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up. Itachi found himself fascinated by the movement of Naruto's hands before he could stop himself.
"I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning . . . ."
Naruto's guitar playing suddenly sped up, and the blond's voice echoed more powerfully in the small room. Itachi closed his eyes, tilting his head back. He didn't like modern music most of the time, but he found that he could make an exception when Naruto was playing it. It seemed that no matter what music Naruto played, Itachi found himself entranced by it. Itachi was sure it was because Naruto was such a talented player, and Itachi so rarely found one of those that he could tolerate and maybe even like to a certain extent. Itachi's eyes opened again and he focused on the blond. That was all it was, he assured himself. But even in his head, the statement had a ring of doubt to it.
"There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines it's not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new, some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning . . . .
I feel like there is no need for, conversation . . . ."
Naruto flicked his hand for the final chord and let it ring before gently bringing his fingers down onto the quivering strings. Then, with a sigh, he opened his eyes, only to jump like a startled rabbit when he saw Itachi in the doorway, watching him intently. Naruto brought a hand to his thumping heart and let out a relieved sigh.
"Jeez, Itachi, you love scaring the crap out of me, don't you! Can't you knock or ring a bell or something? If you played a sonata every time you entered a room, we wouldn't have this problem," Naruto grumbled, placing the guitar on the piano bench as he rose to greet the Uchiha.
"Hn."
Naruto eyed Itachi for a second before sighing once again. "I suppose that's all the apology I'm going to get," he said, more as a statement than a question. Itachi smirked.
"Hn."
Naruto scowled. "Uchihas!" he said, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "It must be in the genes."
Itachi watched Naruto's antics with a faint tinge of amusement in his dark eyes. The blond was so lively; it was entertaining and slightly strange to Itachi, whose remaining family was not the warmest of the bunch. Finally Naruto stopped his stomping around and stood in front of Itachi, looking up at him with a warm smile. Itachi felt something in his stomach flip at the sight of that, but he ignored with the faintest trace of a frown.
"It's good to be back," Naruto sighed. "Hokkaido was wonderful . . . well, most of it anyways . . . but it didn't feel like home, you know?" He turned back to the piano bench , picking up his guitar and twirling it absently in his hands. Then he sat back down, gently bringing the instrument up to his knee.
"Jiraiya gave it to me," he said, in answer to Itachi's silent question. "Back when I first moved in . . . . He likes to collect instruments." Naruto gave a wry smile. "I never would have guessed when I first met him. I just thought he was an old fogey who liked porn too much for his own good." Naruto shook his head. "Things have changed." A sad smile played on the edge of his mouth.
Itachi inclined his head, indicating that he understood. Silence reined the room for a few minutes before, surprisingly, Itachi broke it.
"I'm going to Akatsuki tomorrow night," he said. Naruto looked up at him with surprise in his eyes. "Do you want to come?"
Itachi didn't know why he was offering. Perhaps because the last time they'd went, Naruto had looked relaxed and had had fun. Perhaps the blond needed something like that again, after dealing with visiting his mother's grave. Naruto looked surprised that he'd even been invited, but pleased nonetheless.
"Sure," he said happily. "I'd love to."
And from the shadows of the hall, two golden eyes glinted, before disappearing completely.
Songs Used in This Chapter (in chronological order): Mirror (BarlowGirl), and Burning Bright (Shinedown).
Chapter Twelve
Fandom: Naruto
Rated: 15+
Pairings: Itachi/Naruto, mentioned Neji/Shikamaru, Ino/Sakura and Kiba/Hinata
Disclaimer: I don't Naruto or any of the song lyrics/videos within this story.
Summary: AU. ItaNaru. Naruto is the new kid at Konoha Academy of the Arts and he's got some pretty dark secrets. And when his past comes back to haunt him, he won't be able to keep them hidden for very long.
Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three l Chapter Four l Chapter Five l Chapter Six l Chapter Seven l Chapter Eight l Chapter Nine l Chapter Ten
-
Dissonance
Chapter Eleven: Mirrors
The language of friendship is not words but meanings. (Henry David Thoreau)
Friendship is a sheltering tree. (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
Faith, he had learned that night in front of the flickering television, was most glorious when it was most untouched by reason. (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is. (William P. Merrill)
And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time. (The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray)
"He meant the God behind the music. Not what men had turned God into, but the God behind everything. Think about it. The most beautiful art, music, even architecture-most of it was inspired by a devotion to the divine." (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
Always seek to understand before passing judgement. (Mordred, Bastard Son)
"Religion is simple," Simon answered. "It's the religious who make it complicated. Everybody wants to be right." (Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford)
Music is what life sounds like. (Eric Olson)
Konoha Academy of the Arts
November 5th, 2007
Red was Gaara's color of choice. Bright red - the color of his hair and the color of the blood that still stained his hands after all this time. But today he was working with tan. He didn't know why the urge to paint in the color came to him, but Gaara was never one to ignore his urges. Tan was the color of sand, the color of his birthplace in the desert of Arizona. It was a peaceful color, Gaara thought, though he doubted many others would think so. Maybe you had to live in the desert to understand the appeal of the color tan.
He heard the door to the art room creak open but he didn't look up from his work. Likely it was just a student coming in to pick up a piece - they'd ignore him and be gone as quickly as they'd come in. A faint frown wrinkled Gaara's forehead when he realized that the footsteps of the intruder were heading towards him. Carefully, he added the last dab of paint and set down his brush before turning.
"Gaa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, his bright eyes happy. Gaara blinked. Out of all the people he'd thought to be behind him, Naruto hadn't even entered the equation. He'd never seen the blond outside of the music division - in fact, he thought that Naruto rarely wandered into the literature and art division of the school. A nearly invisible eyebrow rose and Naruto picked up on the silent question.
"Finding you was easy - I just asked one of the art students where the famed Gaara Sabaku painted after school and she pointed me in the right direction. I think she thought you might kill me though - she looked very worried." A smile danced on Naruto's lips. Gaara snorted lightly. Likely the student had thought Gaara would tear Naruto to bits for daring to interrupt his work.
"Anyhow, I came to see how you're doing," Naruto said with a beaming smile. "Hey, is that a new painting? Can I see it?" he added, eyeing the newly finished painting Gaara had done. It was faced away from the blond, so he couldn't see what it was of clearly. Gaara eyed Naruto for a moment. He hadn't shown Naruto any of his artwork since the first day they'd met and Naruto had accidentally picked up a sketch. Gaara had never really shared his artwork with others unless it was absolutely necessary. But Naruto was like him, and he had shared his music with Gaara.
Almost hesitantly, Gaara turned the painting to face Naruto.
Naruto studied the picture intently. The paintings background was of a desert night - the cool, flat planes of an American desert and the dark blue color that the sky turned above it. Some withered vegetation stood in the corner of the painting. But what was the main focus was the pair of eyes staring out from the black sky - they were exotically shaped, almost in an animal like way, and the iris was gold while the whites were colored black. Beneath the eyes there was a small, almost unnoticeable figure of a person - Naruto figured it to be a child, since it was too short to be an adult. The eyes had been placed in such a way that they seemed to be looking down at the child. Naruto shivered lightly. It was a bit of a creepy piece, but it was beautiful as well. Gaara definitely had talent.
"I like it," he said truthfully. "But the eyes . . . do they represent something?"
Gaara hesitated for a long moment before saying, "Shukaku."
Naruto blinked and then understood. The eyes were Shukaku, which meant that the figure had to be . . . "It's you," he said, reaching out to place a finger on the tiny person in the painted world. A hand on his wrist stopped him and he looked to see Gaara staring at him.
"The paint's still wet," he remarked and Naruto pulled away.
"Sorry," he said, his eyes returning back to the painting. "Was this how you felt all those years? As if you were constantly being watched?"
Gaara gave a nearly inaudible sigh. "Yes," he said simply, not willing to share more. He had never gone into the details of what his life was like with Shukaku with Naruto. He didn't feel the need to.
Naruto looked up at him with sad blue eyes. "Me too," he remarked and Gaara felt a sting in his heart. 'Exactly the same,' he thought, almost sadly. He liked having a person that understood him, but he also wished that Naruto hadn't had to go through a life similar to his own. It was a strange mixture of feelings, and Gaara wondered if all friendships were so complicated. He wouldn't know; Naruto was his first friend. "Kyuubi didn't like to see me talk to anyone else," Naruto continued, his eyes turning back to the painting. "He was always watching me. I felt suffocated under him."
Gaara's eyes softened. Hesitantly (he had never been put in the role of the comforter before) he placed a hand on Naruto's shoulders. The blond smiled up at him and placed a hand over Gaara's. His fingers were warm - much warmer than Gaara's hand. The red-head's skin had always been icy cold, even in the midst of summer.
"Thanks, Gaara," Naruto said, and Gaara frowned slightly. He hadn't helped at all! All he'd done was put a hand on Naruto's shoulder - he doubted that comforted the blond much. But Naruto smiled again and as if he was reading Gaara's thoughts, he said, "You are helping Gaara. Just knowing that there's someone who understands . . . that helps. You know?" Gaara nodded; he did know.
"So - how are you doing?" Naruto said, turning cheerful and while Gaara frowned inwardly at the sudden change he let it pass. He shrugged in answer to Naruto's question and the blond sighed.
"Why am I always friends with the quiet ones?" he asked aloud in mock irritation and Gaara felt a smile twitch at the edge of his mouth without his consent. Naruto, apparently, caught the twitch, for his blue eyes widened.
"Was that - a smile? From the feared Gaara Sabaku? If you did that in front of the whole school, I'd bet at least three-fourths of them would faint from the shock of it. Even from just a little twitchy smile."
Gaara scowled, determined to reassert his angry and stoic personality. Naruto just laughed. "Oh no, my friend, you can't hide from me! You may act all tough and angry, but on the inside you're just a big, gooey, softy!" He poked Gaara in the chest with a delighted sparkle in his eye. Unbidden, Gaara's features softened. Naruto wasn't playacting cheerfulness now - instead, he was genuinely happy. Gaara was glad for it, even if it was at the expense of his dignity.
"So, Gaa-chan . . . what do you say to breaking into the newspaper room and making your smile the headline news? I can just see the title now - FEARSOME GAARA SABAKU, CUDDLY AS A KOALA. I'll be sure to add that everyone should feel free to call you Gaa-chan because that's the name you secretly yearn to hear . . . ."
Gaara groaned inwardly. Or maybe it wasn't worth it.
The auditorium and silent and dark when Hinata arrived. She'd practiced in the room long enough to know where the lights were, so she flicked them on, flooding the large stage with brilliant beams. Since this was the smaller auditorium of the two Konoha had, the stage was smaller, though even that was large. Hinata didn't really care about that though - there was no one there to watch her, not that she wanted anyone. Hinata had always been content to play for herself - music was soothed her soul; she didn't sing because it pleased others, but because it pleased her.
The piano she usually used had been backed into a corner since her last visit, but it had wheels on the bottom of its four legs, making it easy to cart around the stage. Hinata carefully rolled it out center stage - it was the best place to see her music clearly, especially if she tilted the front of the piano towards the audience so that the stage lights shone clearly on the paper. It also gave her the added advantage of keeping the lights from shining directly in her eyes. Hinata placed the sheet music for her current choir songs and songs that she'd wanted to practice personally on the stand. Then she sank into the comfortable piano chair and sighed.
It had been about three weeks since her disastrous "coming out" to her family, but it still played in Hinata's mind constantly. She would never forget the furious words of her father when he'd dragged her into his personal office to yell at her for her choice in life.
"No daughter of mine will be acting like that!" he'd yelled. "You will stop this nonsense at once, or you are no longer welcomed in my household!"
Hinata had wanted to cry then. It had all happened like she thought it would. Some part of her had wished that her family would embrace her with open arms instead of locked hearts, but they had held true to what she knew would happen. There was no room for new things in the Hyuuga household. Hinata would never know what had given her the courage to answer back to her father.
"I will never stop! You are my father, and I love you, but if you can't support me in this, then I wouldn't want to live in this house anyway!" she'd said. She regretted those words now - she had never spoken harshly to her father, and she had seen how it had shocked him. But before he could say anything more, she'd thrown herself out of the room, too upset to talk to him anymore. She'd been out of the house the next day, with two suitcases and a backpack with her.
Hinata hadn't known where she was going to go - she'd worried about it during the entire day of school. She knew that after she picked up her bags from her old room, she would no longer be allowed inside of the Hyuuga compound. She would be an outsider in the family she'd grown up with, a pariah. But, after she got her things, where would she go? Hinata had never lived in the world without the warmth of her family to support her. Now that that was gone, she had found herself terrified. 'Is this what it means to be an adult?' she'd thought.
Neji had come unexpectedly to her rescue. She'd never thought her cousin cared much for her, but she was proven wrong when he'd come to her while she finished packing and carefully explained that he had a friend named Tenten who would be willing to take her in for however long she needed. Hinata could have cried with relief, but instead gave Neji a tight hug that made the usually emotionally-repressed teenager stiff and awkward for the rest of the day.
Hinata sighed again. Everything in her life had changed so much in the last few weeks. Before she used to be the "good" daughter, the one who did everything right - now she had yelled at her father, moved out of her house, and was living with one of her cousin's best friends, who hoped to one day follow in her father's footsteps and make weapons for a living. No, nothing was as it had been before. Hinata liked some of the changes, but there were some things that she missed. Her family. Her old home. The comfort.
Hinata shook her head and turned to the piano. She'd made her decision; there was no looking back. Instead she focused her attention on the sheet music in front of her. She didn't know what she wanted to sing first - she had choir songs to practice and memorize, and songs that she personally wanted to learn. But she felt in the mood for a song she'd known for a long time, so she began the opening bars.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, have I got it?
'Cause mirror you've always told me
Who I am. I'm finding it's not easy
To be perfect
So sorry, you won't define me
Sorry, you don't own me
Who are you to tell me that I am less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try. No, no, I won't try."
Hinata's voice didn't have the husky charisma of Alyson Barlow, but it was sweet and sure, and had its own charm to it. In the empty auditorium it rang clearly, echoing slightly. Her fingers moved across the keys, creating the simple background to the powerful lyrics. Hinata wished she knew someone who would play the guitar or drums for her - the song sounded much more dramatic with those two instruments backing it. But it was just her and the piano.
"Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of he who made me
And to him I am beauty beyond compare
I know, he defines me. Yeah yeah
Who are you to tell me that I am less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
You don't define me
You don't define me
You don't define me
You don't define me
Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won't try, No
I won't try
Yeah, yeah
Who are you to tell me I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you?
Who are you..?
Yeah, yeah!
I don't need to listen to the list of the things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try."
Hinata's fingers ceased their movements and for a moment her dark head bowed. She closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. The song touched on so many emotions that she'd felt under the suffocation of her family's expectations . . . so many things that she'd suppressed when she tried to be "perfect".
"Hinata-chan!" a voice called out and Hinata turned to see Naruto standing in the doorway of the auditorium, beaming for all he was worth. He skipped down the stars two at a time and hurried onto the stage. "Finally!" he cried out. "I haven't seen you for so long!"
Hinata blinked. She'd never had anyone care about whether they saw her or not during the day; even at school, she was a bit of a loner, too shy to make any actual friends. Despite what adults may think, making friends in high school is much, much harder than it is in the lower grades. People already formed their own groups, and it was difficult to join them. Hinata had never tried, and so she'd been alone for much of her high school career.
"I was . . . busy," she said hesitantly.
Naruto nodded. "That's alright," he said. "I should've looked for you sooner anyhow. But I wanted to know - did you sort out that thing with your family?" His eyes were curious but, to Hinata's surprise, not pushy.
"Yes," she said simply. "I made my choice." She drew in a shuddering breath and Naruto nodded again, obviously understanding what that choice had been.
"Do you regret it?" he asked, and there was something in his voice that made Hinata wonder about the choices Naruto had made during his life.
Hinata thought about it. Did she regret it? Would she change the life she had now - confusing and strange as it was - for the perfect, suffocating life she'd led under her family's iron rule? Now she would have a chance to be herself, to sing the music she loved. But, with that chance, she'd lost her family. But wasn't life full of that kind of choice? You can't be on both sides of the fence. Hinata had followed her heart, and to her surprise . . .
"I don't regret it," she said firmly, louder than she'd possibly ever been outside of the choir room. "I feel sad that I lost my family but . . . I don't regret making my choice." Naruto's eyes softened.
"That's good," he said, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Hinata smiled at him.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I think so." And she looked between the keys below her and the boy beside her and marveled at who she had become.
Sasuke Uchiha was beginning to get frustrated.
He hadn't been sure what he would find when he looked into Naruto Uzumaki's background, but it certainly hadn't been the complete lack of details he'd managed to collect. The only thing he knew for certain was that Naruto had been born in Japan and brought to America when he was nine. Other than that, there was no information on the blond; not about his parents, where he lived in Japan, his previous guardians, previous schools . . . . It was like he'd come out of thin air. And if that wasn't suspicious, than Sasuke wasn't an Uchiha.
He growled in his throat, throwing himself away from the library computer. It was less focused than the computer at his own home, but also less likely to be traced back to him. After all, if someone found out about what he did on there, he could say that someone had hacked into his school account. Who wouldn't believe an Uchiha above everyone else? Sasuke snorted and then turned, only to find himself face to face with Shikamaru, who looked uncommonly awake.
"Sasuke," Shikamaru said neutrally. Sasuke's brow furrowed.
"Shikamaru," he answered back with a mocking edge. "What do you want?"
Shikamaru gave a long-suffering sigh. "Troublesome. It'd be better to get this over with quickly . . . . What are you doing, looking into Naruto's past?"
Sasuke blinked, then frowned. "Why would I be interested in that dobe," he hissed out.
Shikamaru gave him a long look. "I've been here for a while, you know," he pointed out. "And I was shamelessly watching over your shoulder as you tried to pry out information on Naruto. There's no use in denying it."
Sasuke growled. "What does it matter to you? Afraid I might find something bad about your new buddy?" He sneered, refusing to admit the sting of hurt he'd felt at seeing Shikamaru more and more with Naruto.
Shikamaru sighed again. "No. I know everything about Naruto's past, Sasuke . . . . Nothing you could find would shock me. But I'm telling you to stay out of it. This is too big of a web to get tangled in."
Shikamaru, though he would deny it, was protective of the people he cared about. Sasuke, ass or not, was one of those people, and he refused to let the Uchiha get tangled in Naruto's past. Especially with Kyuubi lurking around, jumping for the chance to play with someone's mind. He only wished that Naruto had the choice to get away from his past as well.
"I'll do what I want," Sasuke hissed. "Neither you nor Uzumaki can tell me what to do!" His hand clenched into a fist and then he whirled away from Shikamaru, stalking away to the doors. Shikamaru watched him go well aware, after several years of knowing Sasuke, that there was nothing else he could say that would get through that thick head of his. He shook his own head, making his high ponytail swing gently.
"Troublesome."
The school was empty, as far as Itachi could tell, but there were probably a few students tucked away into various corners. Like the one he was on his way to see, for example. Itachi knew that Naruto had returned from his recent trip, and if he knew the blond he'd be in his practice room, playing. But then, when wasn't Naruto making music?
Itachi wasn't sure why he wanted to see Naruto. He hadn't missed the blond . . . not really. He'd thought of him a few times over the weekend, but Itachi dismissed that as simple sympathy towards what he knew the blond had to be going through after seeing his mother's grave for so long. There'd been some sort of ache in Itachi's chest as he thought of Naruto sad, but the Uchiha knew that it had nothing to do with Naruto. Perhaps he'd just eaten something strange . . . after all, it had been Madara's turn to cook that night.
Itachi sighed and hurried towards the practice rooms. Sure enough, when he approached Naruto's regular room he could hear the strains of music through the door. Naruto had just begun to sing a new piece, a modern song with a steady, strumming guitar background, and Itachi wondered where Naruto had gotten the guitar. Perhaps Jiraiya (who was well-known as Naruto's guardian after the blond had announced it to the Orchestra) had given him it.
"I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright."
Itachi opened the door quietly and leaned against the frame, watching Naruto play. As usual, the blond had his eyes closed, and his head bent forward, fingers plucking almost absently to the strings of a rather well-worn guitar. His dark jacket (not a necessary item to wear, but one most students chose to in the chilly winter months) was thrown to the side over the piano, and his formal white shirt had been unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up. Itachi found himself fascinated by the movement of Naruto's hands before he could stop himself.
"I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning . . . ."
Naruto's guitar playing suddenly sped up, and the blond's voice echoed more powerfully in the small room. Itachi closed his eyes, tilting his head back. He didn't like modern music most of the time, but he found that he could make an exception when Naruto was playing it. It seemed that no matter what music Naruto played, Itachi found himself entranced by it. Itachi was sure it was because Naruto was such a talented player, and Itachi so rarely found one of those that he could tolerate and maybe even like to a certain extent. Itachi's eyes opened again and he focused on the blond. That was all it was, he assured himself. But even in his head, the statement had a ring of doubt to it.
"There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines it's not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new, some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning . . . .
I feel like there is no need for, conversation . . . ."
Naruto flicked his hand for the final chord and let it ring before gently bringing his fingers down onto the quivering strings. Then, with a sigh, he opened his eyes, only to jump like a startled rabbit when he saw Itachi in the doorway, watching him intently. Naruto brought a hand to his thumping heart and let out a relieved sigh.
"Jeez, Itachi, you love scaring the crap out of me, don't you! Can't you knock or ring a bell or something? If you played a sonata every time you entered a room, we wouldn't have this problem," Naruto grumbled, placing the guitar on the piano bench as he rose to greet the Uchiha.
"Hn."
Naruto eyed Itachi for a second before sighing once again. "I suppose that's all the apology I'm going to get," he said, more as a statement than a question. Itachi smirked.
"Hn."
Naruto scowled. "Uchihas!" he said, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "It must be in the genes."
Itachi watched Naruto's antics with a faint tinge of amusement in his dark eyes. The blond was so lively; it was entertaining and slightly strange to Itachi, whose remaining family was not the warmest of the bunch. Finally Naruto stopped his stomping around and stood in front of Itachi, looking up at him with a warm smile. Itachi felt something in his stomach flip at the sight of that, but he ignored with the faintest trace of a frown.
"It's good to be back," Naruto sighed. "Hokkaido was wonderful . . . well, most of it anyways . . . but it didn't feel like home, you know?" He turned back to the piano bench , picking up his guitar and twirling it absently in his hands. Then he sat back down, gently bringing the instrument up to his knee.
"Jiraiya gave it to me," he said, in answer to Itachi's silent question. "Back when I first moved in . . . . He likes to collect instruments." Naruto gave a wry smile. "I never would have guessed when I first met him. I just thought he was an old fogey who liked porn too much for his own good." Naruto shook his head. "Things have changed." A sad smile played on the edge of his mouth.
Itachi inclined his head, indicating that he understood. Silence reined the room for a few minutes before, surprisingly, Itachi broke it.
"I'm going to Akatsuki tomorrow night," he said. Naruto looked up at him with surprise in his eyes. "Do you want to come?"
Itachi didn't know why he was offering. Perhaps because the last time they'd went, Naruto had looked relaxed and had had fun. Perhaps the blond needed something like that again, after dealing with visiting his mother's grave. Naruto looked surprised that he'd even been invited, but pleased nonetheless.
"Sure," he said happily. "I'd love to."
And from the shadows of the hall, two golden eyes glinted, before disappearing completely.
Songs Used in This Chapter (in chronological order): Mirror (BarlowGirl), and Burning Bright (Shinedown).
Chapter Twelve