a sigh followed by a deep breath
I'm tired.
No preface, introduction or prologue. I am bloody tired. The interesting thing about this absolute exhaustion is that I'm feeling the best I've felt in a while. Yes, I'm tired and rather stressed out (those of you who might have worked in theatre before would know that Tech Week, the week before the show opens, is stress personified), but I'm feeling alright about it. It feels normal. I like that.
This experience working as Stage Manager on London Suite has revealed a theatrical side of me that I wasn't aware of. I think I'm a theatre snob. I mean, I'm pretty critical of theatre anyway. I like to talk about it and analyze it. I can talk myself into things, out of things and around things that I like or dislike about any certain production, including the ones I'm involved with. But here's where the snobbery, comes in. Community theatre doesn't live up to it's name. You would think that "community" would mean a coming together of people, but no, Community theatre is not like that. In my experience (there is only one, so perhaps it's unfair of me to judge) the people involved in the community theatre I'm working in right now are a relatively undedicated lot that think only of themselves, of the fact that this production is only a hobby, and do not go out of their way in the slightest degree for the betterment of the production. Now I'm not saying they are all like this all the time. Some exhibit none of the qualities I've just listed and some have them in spades. I just don't understand. If you've said you would do something, you do it. You don't quit when the going gets a bit rough, you don't whine about getting home earlier, you don't set ultimatums during tech week. You push through. You've committed to this, and that's it. It's a bit frustrating to see some people doing only what they need to to get by while I'm working my butt off. Perhaps I just have such high expectations of myself and I transfer those expectations over to others too. That's probably unfair. But it makes me think that directing for this theatre would be as stressful for me as it has been for my sister. I did propose some plays to direct for them, but have heard nothing. Not a peep. But wouldn't it be cool if I got to direct The Importance of Being Earnest?
Contrary to the previous paragraph, I have enjoyed working on this production. It's theatre...I love it. It's been interesting and has really taught me to value the versatile theatre education I've had. I've not only served as Stage Manager (with no assistant, I might add), but I've also been involved in set construction, I'm co-set designer, light board op and set dresser. All I have to say is Thank the Lord for Alexis DePersia-Norelli, Lighting Designer extraordinaire, without whom our actors would be performing in the classy fluorescent glow that graces our space. It's been crazy stressful, but it's crazy-stressful-theatre-stress, which despite being exhausted by, I simultaneously revel in.
Now, with all this theatre stuff going on, one might speculate that there has been no time for anything else (bad or good) to happen. I have to say that the ridiculous avalanche of bad things that fell upon me in the last two months has abated. Apparently, there is no more snow. I'm completely unsurprised. I have successfully dug myself out of the vehicle predicament and am now the debatably proud owner of a 1996 Dodge Stratus (title, registration, insurance and all). Went through heaps of metaphorical snow to get this car, and though I have yet to pick it up, I am confident in this being a good and worthwhile decision.
The computer question was put on hold until the car situation was taken care of, so I am still computerless. Part of it is that there are so many things to choose from and the other part is...hey, I've got enough money, but should I really spend it. I would like to get a Mac...but I have some reservations about that. I'm absolutely terrified by Windows Vista (the fear of the unknown!) and every new model PC comes with it now. And then there is the refurbished option. Cheaper and probably as good as a new one, but do I really want to take a chance on that "probably"? Oy. Anyone have any suggestions? Instead of narrowing down my options, research just seems to add to them.
On a relatively light side-note, I've been reading Jane Austen's Emma in my spare time at work lately. I'm about halfway through, and though I know the general story (who Emma ends up with, for example) how they get there is an intriguing discovery. I have to say, Emma, in the first hundred pages or so, is incessantly and incredibly annoying. I didn't like her at all and she's likely one of the most unobservant heroines ever to receive her own novel. Now, after the incident with Mr. Elton, I found I liked her a little better. She's not nearly as annoying when not actively shoving one person at another, but her superior demeanor and tendency to always think herself in the right gets on my nerves. I'm just waiting for the "perfect match" to show his ultimate compatibility. As a result, I have very little patience reading it.
I'm afraid that my brain has just informed me that any more coherence is unlikely to come pouring out should I continue in this fashion. In other words, I must go.