(no subject)
In about four hours I will have a half brother. The whole baby thing is really interesting emotionally. Its odd to think that my dad is remarried to someone from a different culture. I was and still am very upset that he never asked or told my brother and I that he was getting remarried. He never asked how we felt. Instead I found out in a fashion that I do not wish anyone finds out in. But the point of stating this is I learned that we don't always have to agree with everyone. We don't have to even agree with all the decisions our family and parents make. But more so respect, love, and cherish them for what they are, even if that thing isn't the best in the world.
I know I often dwell on the bad things and characteristics of people and life. I know its a lot easier to do this than to see good even in the worst of situations. Recently I've been bashing my father because as the oldest it seems to me, he cares the least about me. I know thats an awful thing to say, but when I need help I have no one to turn to but myself. From the little things like not saying hi to me to bigger things like buying my brother an expensive first car when mine was simply a really beat up hand me down. While I will admit to anyone that I am spoiled, I will also admit I take somethings a little too personally.
I'm not sure what its going to be like living with a baby. I know some of my friends already have kids, others will soon be having kids, and here I am worried about a baby thats not even mine. But the last time I held a little baby was my brother. I did hold a baby that was 8 months old or so at Parker's and that kid threw up on me and started crying. Typical.
I realized for not living here even a year, I have some really good close friends. I even think I have more close friends here in GA than I did in KY. While I do have more history with the other people and I know a lot more people in KY, I have more closer friends here. There are so many things I miss about Louisville, like the size of the city (I hate how big Atlanta is and all the traffic, all the time) and knowing how to get everywhere. I miss the dog park too.
On this odd journey of life I'm learning so much. There are all types of things I miss, want, and hope to achieve but at the forefront of my mind is always that love word. I miss more than anything else being in love with someone who loves me just as much. I wont deny that I probably still am in love and I know just typing this everyone will get on my case. But its really really freaking hard to let go of someone you cared so much about. And sometimes it doesn't matter how much someone tells you to give up, to give in, to let go, to move on, etc. it just doesn't happen. I wonder how I got over Joshua. I dated that boy for an eternity and to this day I hate what and how he broke up with me. During one of the most amazing times of years, I get all types of stressed and depressed. Its ok though I've become so much stronger for it.
I love my father. I do. Despite somethings everyones heard recently about, he is a good man. I hope to one day find someone who cares about me as much as he cares about my stepmom. He is spending the next few nights wtih her in the hospital. I can't wait for it either. Sometimes I like to rush things like getting a house, a fulltime job, a dog, having friends over for game nights, etc. I can't wait until I grow up.
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So Marcus Xui was born today. He weighed 7lb 14 oz and was 19 inches by c-section.
And one of my bestest friends of all times, Megan is engaged. Wow, what a day.
Tomorrow Wii night at my house!
I know I often dwell on the bad things and characteristics of people and life. I know its a lot easier to do this than to see good even in the worst of situations. Recently I've been bashing my father because as the oldest it seems to me, he cares the least about me. I know thats an awful thing to say, but when I need help I have no one to turn to but myself. From the little things like not saying hi to me to bigger things like buying my brother an expensive first car when mine was simply a really beat up hand me down. While I will admit to anyone that I am spoiled, I will also admit I take somethings a little too personally.
I'm not sure what its going to be like living with a baby. I know some of my friends already have kids, others will soon be having kids, and here I am worried about a baby thats not even mine. But the last time I held a little baby was my brother. I did hold a baby that was 8 months old or so at Parker's and that kid threw up on me and started crying. Typical.
I realized for not living here even a year, I have some really good close friends. I even think I have more close friends here in GA than I did in KY. While I do have more history with the other people and I know a lot more people in KY, I have more closer friends here. There are so many things I miss about Louisville, like the size of the city (I hate how big Atlanta is and all the traffic, all the time) and knowing how to get everywhere. I miss the dog park too.
On this odd journey of life I'm learning so much. There are all types of things I miss, want, and hope to achieve but at the forefront of my mind is always that love word. I miss more than anything else being in love with someone who loves me just as much. I wont deny that I probably still am in love and I know just typing this everyone will get on my case. But its really really freaking hard to let go of someone you cared so much about. And sometimes it doesn't matter how much someone tells you to give up, to give in, to let go, to move on, etc. it just doesn't happen. I wonder how I got over Joshua. I dated that boy for an eternity and to this day I hate what and how he broke up with me. During one of the most amazing times of years, I get all types of stressed and depressed. Its ok though I've become so much stronger for it.
I love my father. I do. Despite somethings everyones heard recently about, he is a good man. I hope to one day find someone who cares about me as much as he cares about my stepmom. He is spending the next few nights wtih her in the hospital. I can't wait for it either. Sometimes I like to rush things like getting a house, a fulltime job, a dog, having friends over for game nights, etc. I can't wait until I grow up.
--------------
So Marcus Xui was born today. He weighed 7lb 14 oz and was 19 inches by c-section.
And one of my bestest friends of all times, Megan is engaged. Wow, what a day.
Tomorrow Wii night at my house!