Thoughts for/on a broken world...
So I have been thinking a lot about justice, and injustice, and the world and people and everything.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I am in class from 8:30 to 11:20 discussing justice and then contemporary social problems. Peter is in it with me (although he is not aware I am writing about him, because he does not use facebook or any other form of communication invented in the last 3 decades - Mennonite), and we spent about 40minutes last week after class just discussing everything about social justice and what it means.
One of the things I have been thinking about is that it hurts and it only really makes you feel worse at the end...or at least that is my experience.
What I have found is that nothing I can do can totally change anything. I can't even eradicate one measly social problem in one measly town in Pennsylvania, and therefore I am hopeless when it comes to facing the world. Not to mention, no matter how many people you have working together, there will always be at least one who does not want to help, and that person is the one you need, the one that can really make that difference. This however does not mean that you have to be fully involved in everything (that is a dumb idea - see Nora's high school career for more information). It bothers me that I am totally incapable of really making a difference. But the real problem in this is how I am defining "a difference." For awhile I had been dreaming about having poverty museums, where nowhere in America was there a real "homeless" person, or a starving person. Everyone was warm and cozy in their beds at night, well-fed and surrounded by love...but what kind of dream is this? Is any part of it realistic? Even if every person in the U.S. had shelter, that wouldn't mean the shelter was warm, or that they even had food on a regular basis. The problem with social problems is that every single thing is connected together and you can't eliminate one without eliminating them all...
And there is where you get overwhelmed, your stomach ties in knots and you just want to cry for all the children you know are going to die in your lifetime, and you didn't meet them, you didn't give money towards finding a cure for their AIDS, you didn't send them teddy bears, or give them food, or build a cistern so they have clean water, you failed them, and they died. You couldn't do anything about those millions of children dying but you feel darn guilty about it now that you finally think about it. And you feel sick that you let them die while you were wishing you could get a new ipod, or fix the one you broke, or buy a new care, or fix your old car. Walk gosh darn it, these millions of children are DYING!!! But guess what, it still doesn't matter, because you couldn't stop it.
But wait, there's hope.
And this is what I have been trying to tell myself for weeks now. Because if I didn't believe it with all my heart, I don't know how I would live with myself.
We can change the life of ONE person. Just one. I can make one of those children's dreams come true. Even if they're dying of AIDS and I can't help them, and my money won't save their life because they're already dying, I can rock them and hold them. I can feed them and clothe them. I can take care of those children who are sick and without parents, I can send them teddy bears, I can play with them and read to them and show them the love of servant-hood and selflessness that Jesus showed when he washed the feet of his disciples.
I can fix the house of the poor old lady down the street. The one who's children abandoned her because they thought she was crazy. The one who's grandson is a drug addict and keeps stealing from her. The one who's in the wheel-chair and her husband can't work anymore cause he's dying of cancer. The one who has only social security for income and can't afford the new roof or new floor in the hallway. The one who keeps falling through the floor of her trailer and sometimes gets stuck for hours. And wouldn't that change her life? to get a new floor? to get a new roof? To do it for free, on my own time? Wouldn't that make SOME difference? Is that difference enough? - It's enough for the lady and her husband who can't afford to live in a warm dry and safe house. It's enough for the orphan dying of AIDS. Is it enough for me?? Aren't they more important than I am?
It's hard. It's hard to feel like that's enough, but it's also hard to deny the innate sense of injustice that motivates us to change this world each time we hear these stories. It's hard to accept the fact that we can't do anything, but it's also impossible to deny the fact that we should at least be doing SOMETHING. PEOPLE are PEOPLE. Everyone needs help, the poor, the widow, the woman, the child, the black, the white, the native american, the asian, the middle eastern, the mestizo, etc. No one can argue that everyone deserves love and support, and the big part of LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF is that Jesus is saying to us, love them as YOURSELF. Do we ignore our own needs (like food, shelter, water, etc.) - no, never, and when we do, it's unhealthy. So how could we do that to others? Love people with the same selfishness you would show for yourself. Lavish others with gifts and attention and love, like you would yourself. Suffering people deserve it so much more than we do.
As Americans we are so much better off than the rest of the world, but there are still suffering people here, who need our love and support and help. No matter where you are there is a widow, a woman, a child, a homeless person, a bankrupt person, a lost person, a dirty person, that just needs your love and attention.
We are to be lights unto the world, and no matter what spirituality/religion you believe in, I can't see how you could possible disagree with this. Why aren't we lights to this world? Why do we just seem to accept darkness for what it is and live with it, when there are beautiful faces of love and joy just longing to look back at us in the light.
We can't fix it, we can't change it, but we can see something better if we let something better come from us.
In us is a remembrance (if you will) of a perfection. We know what it would be like in a perfect world, we can feel it. Especially when we feel injustice and see oppression. There is a piece of us missing that makes it so painful, that we see this injustice, yet can't fix it. This is why I am a Christian, because I see this world and I need to know why inside I am dying when I look at it. I am disgusted with so much about people and so disappointed in everyone, especially myself, and I have to know that there is a hope. I have to know that there is a life, a love, a center, a beauty, a GOOD, and a BEING that is just BETTER(!!!!!) than what I see right now. Because without that promise, that faith, I think I would already be 6 feet under. I would not be able to watch death and destruction abound, and live powerless in a world that has been spiraling downward since time began.
For those who are Christians : When Jesus comes back, all things will be solved in one instant. I can't wait. That will be so incredible, so cool. 1 instant and everything will be perfect again...
This is my rant, sorry it took so long. I hope you still love and respect me after this. If not, you weren't a true friend anyway.
I love you all.
God Bless you,
Nora
Tuesdays and Thursdays I am in class from 8:30 to 11:20 discussing justice and then contemporary social problems. Peter is in it with me (although he is not aware I am writing about him, because he does not use facebook or any other form of communication invented in the last 3 decades - Mennonite), and we spent about 40minutes last week after class just discussing everything about social justice and what it means.
One of the things I have been thinking about is that it hurts and it only really makes you feel worse at the end...or at least that is my experience.
What I have found is that nothing I can do can totally change anything. I can't even eradicate one measly social problem in one measly town in Pennsylvania, and therefore I am hopeless when it comes to facing the world. Not to mention, no matter how many people you have working together, there will always be at least one who does not want to help, and that person is the one you need, the one that can really make that difference. This however does not mean that you have to be fully involved in everything (that is a dumb idea - see Nora's high school career for more information). It bothers me that I am totally incapable of really making a difference. But the real problem in this is how I am defining "a difference." For awhile I had been dreaming about having poverty museums, where nowhere in America was there a real "homeless" person, or a starving person. Everyone was warm and cozy in their beds at night, well-fed and surrounded by love...but what kind of dream is this? Is any part of it realistic? Even if every person in the U.S. had shelter, that wouldn't mean the shelter was warm, or that they even had food on a regular basis. The problem with social problems is that every single thing is connected together and you can't eliminate one without eliminating them all...
And there is where you get overwhelmed, your stomach ties in knots and you just want to cry for all the children you know are going to die in your lifetime, and you didn't meet them, you didn't give money towards finding a cure for their AIDS, you didn't send them teddy bears, or give them food, or build a cistern so they have clean water, you failed them, and they died. You couldn't do anything about those millions of children dying but you feel darn guilty about it now that you finally think about it. And you feel sick that you let them die while you were wishing you could get a new ipod, or fix the one you broke, or buy a new care, or fix your old car. Walk gosh darn it, these millions of children are DYING!!! But guess what, it still doesn't matter, because you couldn't stop it.
But wait, there's hope.
And this is what I have been trying to tell myself for weeks now. Because if I didn't believe it with all my heart, I don't know how I would live with myself.
We can change the life of ONE person. Just one. I can make one of those children's dreams come true. Even if they're dying of AIDS and I can't help them, and my money won't save their life because they're already dying, I can rock them and hold them. I can feed them and clothe them. I can take care of those children who are sick and without parents, I can send them teddy bears, I can play with them and read to them and show them the love of servant-hood and selflessness that Jesus showed when he washed the feet of his disciples.
I can fix the house of the poor old lady down the street. The one who's children abandoned her because they thought she was crazy. The one who's grandson is a drug addict and keeps stealing from her. The one who's in the wheel-chair and her husband can't work anymore cause he's dying of cancer. The one who has only social security for income and can't afford the new roof or new floor in the hallway. The one who keeps falling through the floor of her trailer and sometimes gets stuck for hours. And wouldn't that change her life? to get a new floor? to get a new roof? To do it for free, on my own time? Wouldn't that make SOME difference? Is that difference enough? - It's enough for the lady and her husband who can't afford to live in a warm dry and safe house. It's enough for the orphan dying of AIDS. Is it enough for me?? Aren't they more important than I am?
It's hard. It's hard to feel like that's enough, but it's also hard to deny the innate sense of injustice that motivates us to change this world each time we hear these stories. It's hard to accept the fact that we can't do anything, but it's also impossible to deny the fact that we should at least be doing SOMETHING. PEOPLE are PEOPLE. Everyone needs help, the poor, the widow, the woman, the child, the black, the white, the native american, the asian, the middle eastern, the mestizo, etc. No one can argue that everyone deserves love and support, and the big part of LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF is that Jesus is saying to us, love them as YOURSELF. Do we ignore our own needs (like food, shelter, water, etc.) - no, never, and when we do, it's unhealthy. So how could we do that to others? Love people with the same selfishness you would show for yourself. Lavish others with gifts and attention and love, like you would yourself. Suffering people deserve it so much more than we do.
As Americans we are so much better off than the rest of the world, but there are still suffering people here, who need our love and support and help. No matter where you are there is a widow, a woman, a child, a homeless person, a bankrupt person, a lost person, a dirty person, that just needs your love and attention.
We are to be lights unto the world, and no matter what spirituality/religion you believe in, I can't see how you could possible disagree with this. Why aren't we lights to this world? Why do we just seem to accept darkness for what it is and live with it, when there are beautiful faces of love and joy just longing to look back at us in the light.
We can't fix it, we can't change it, but we can see something better if we let something better come from us.
In us is a remembrance (if you will) of a perfection. We know what it would be like in a perfect world, we can feel it. Especially when we feel injustice and see oppression. There is a piece of us missing that makes it so painful, that we see this injustice, yet can't fix it. This is why I am a Christian, because I see this world and I need to know why inside I am dying when I look at it. I am disgusted with so much about people and so disappointed in everyone, especially myself, and I have to know that there is a hope. I have to know that there is a life, a love, a center, a beauty, a GOOD, and a BEING that is just BETTER(!!!!!) than what I see right now. Because without that promise, that faith, I think I would already be 6 feet under. I would not be able to watch death and destruction abound, and live powerless in a world that has been spiraling downward since time began.
For those who are Christians : When Jesus comes back, all things will be solved in one instant. I can't wait. That will be so incredible, so cool. 1 instant and everything will be perfect again...
This is my rant, sorry it took so long. I hope you still love and respect me after this. If not, you weren't a true friend anyway.
I love you all.
God Bless you,
Nora