Damn Nerves
I'm really bored and i descided to write in this thing.
I've been testing in school so thats really boring. All i'm doing is guessing because it doesn't count on our grades just on our school. So whatever. It is kinda fun though because i get to sit next to Marc and i get to sketch random ass things.
I also began working out again. Thank goodness. I'm doing a lot for my lower body and a lot for my stomche since i have been gaining weight in those areas. Working out actually relaxes me. Even though that does sound silly.
I'm going to be taking my lisence test soon and i'm nervous as heck!!! i don't think that im going to pass but i don't know. i always let my nerves take over my body.
I just want this month to be over so that it can be June. June will be a good month because that is my last month of school. Exciting huh? i've already thought about what i am going to be doing. Beach, Shop, Tan, Swim, Pool, Hang out with Friends, Hang out with family, and share some more odd experierences with Violeta. Gosh i love that Hussy.
Hopefully this summer wont suck like last summer. But i don't think it will because i don't have a boyfriend anymore. I have noticed that even though you think that you are happy when you do have a boyfriend, you really aren't. All you start to think about is when you are going to be seeing him and then when you don't get what you want, you start to beat yourself up about it. it isnt your fault but you still blame it on what you did. i learned that the hard way and i hate myself for it. But atleast i learned a valuable leasson. i also learned that it isn't healthy to get your hopes up. you get sooo excited because you plan everything out in your head over and over, you cant sleep because your still planning it in your head. & then your hopes are let down because you didnt get what you expected. i don't get my hopes up anymore. Although i still have high expectations. The only reason why i do have high expectations is because i always compare new expierences with old experiences. i just wish i had my old expierence back.
it feels so good writing down what you feel because you let emotions out. ones that you didn't know you had or ones that you were trying to hide. This might not make sence to you but to me it makes perfect sence.
i am going to stop writing now because i am afraid of what i will learn about myself.
I've been testing in school so thats really boring. All i'm doing is guessing because it doesn't count on our grades just on our school. So whatever. It is kinda fun though because i get to sit next to Marc and i get to sketch random ass things.
I also began working out again. Thank goodness. I'm doing a lot for my lower body and a lot for my stomche since i have been gaining weight in those areas. Working out actually relaxes me. Even though that does sound silly.
I'm going to be taking my lisence test soon and i'm nervous as heck!!! i don't think that im going to pass but i don't know. i always let my nerves take over my body.
I just want this month to be over so that it can be June. June will be a good month because that is my last month of school. Exciting huh? i've already thought about what i am going to be doing. Beach, Shop, Tan, Swim, Pool, Hang out with Friends, Hang out with family, and share some more odd experierences with Violeta. Gosh i love that Hussy.
Hopefully this summer wont suck like last summer. But i don't think it will because i don't have a boyfriend anymore. I have noticed that even though you think that you are happy when you do have a boyfriend, you really aren't. All you start to think about is when you are going to be seeing him and then when you don't get what you want, you start to beat yourself up about it. it isnt your fault but you still blame it on what you did. i learned that the hard way and i hate myself for it. But atleast i learned a valuable leasson. i also learned that it isn't healthy to get your hopes up. you get sooo excited because you plan everything out in your head over and over, you cant sleep because your still planning it in your head. & then your hopes are let down because you didnt get what you expected. i don't get my hopes up anymore. Although i still have high expectations. The only reason why i do have high expectations is because i always compare new expierences with old experiences. i just wish i had my old expierence back.
it feels so good writing down what you feel because you let emotions out. ones that you didn't know you had or ones that you were trying to hide. This might not make sence to you but to me it makes perfect sence.
i am going to stop writing now because i am afraid of what i will learn about myself.