shower: reprise
taken from an old entry:
you can't expect to experience the power and reality of the Christian life if you aren't living it in the first place. Sounds very duh, I know, but don't we all struggle with it?
Periods of dryness, days you wake up and the world seems abnormally grey, you stand stationary in the midst of a crowd that's jumping energetically and singing along emphatically to the songs of praise that are being led in church, wondering why you do not feel that same urge. Wondering, "How can I stand here and not be moved by You?". Wondering what's wrong.
Years of Sunday School classes and Sunday sermons, and even cell group discussions and the odd conversation with friends about God and life with God tell you, "Look to Him. Go back to Him. He is the answer."
But you thought you were, you were doing just fine! This sudden feeling of dryness came so...suddenly. Where did it come from? What changed overnight?
I tend to get caught up in that question of "What changed?", so that I can try to change it back, but maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe the only answer is that it's a new day, and yesterday's manna is not for today. More often than not, because I'm so caught up in trying to figure out why I'm feeling this way, I don't feel like turning to God. I don't feel like praying, don't feel like singing, don't feel like doing any of the things that I know are the way back to Him. Because the pride in me says, "But I never really strayed, so why should I be needing to find my way back?". And so I wander around and around wondering what the problem is, when the problem is, simply, that I'm not bringing myself to God.
you can't expect to experience the power and reality of the Christian life if you aren't living it in the first place. Sounds very duh, I know, but don't we all struggle with it?
Periods of dryness, days you wake up and the world seems abnormally grey, you stand stationary in the midst of a crowd that's jumping energetically and singing along emphatically to the songs of praise that are being led in church, wondering why you do not feel that same urge. Wondering, "How can I stand here and not be moved by You?". Wondering what's wrong.
Years of Sunday School classes and Sunday sermons, and even cell group discussions and the odd conversation with friends about God and life with God tell you, "Look to Him. Go back to Him. He is the answer."
But you thought you were, you were doing just fine! This sudden feeling of dryness came so...suddenly. Where did it come from? What changed overnight?
I tend to get caught up in that question of "What changed?", so that I can try to change it back, but maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe the only answer is that it's a new day, and yesterday's manna is not for today. More often than not, because I'm so caught up in trying to figure out why I'm feeling this way, I don't feel like turning to God. I don't feel like praying, don't feel like singing, don't feel like doing any of the things that I know are the way back to Him. Because the pride in me says, "But I never really strayed, so why should I be needing to find my way back?". And so I wander around and around wondering what the problem is, when the problem is, simply, that I'm not bringing myself to God.