did a thing yesterday
that i haven't in a while. forgot how good the high can be. felt guilty for enjoying it so much because maybe i'm not just responsible for myself anymore. (oh fuck, is this why? trapped?)
today i'm thinking about self-care plus getting blissed out. and slipping right back into old terms and plans...
like... i don't begrudge you for being an addict, but i also don't worry that you're going to die over it
i don't THINK i'm going to die but fuck. don't make me feel bad about this. don't get in my way, please
actually... you know what. thinking about it, fuck it. i'll be fine
i told myself yesterday it doesn't matter because it's the best thing i had in the moment to rectify it. today i just want the fucking bliss. i'd be doing better drugs with you rn if i could, but that's not possible, so in the mean time...