(no subject)
I have planned on updating this thing for a while now & it just hasn't worked out. Everything I try to write ends up whiney, muddled, & unappealing to me. I had a rough week, feeling stuck in place & claustrophobic. I started to hate everyone, even the people I love the most. All it took to get out of it was a reminder that even though I'm poor & struggling right now there are still several good things in my life. For instance, I can afford all the bills I have plus contribute to my mother. It leaves me flat broke but as long as I'm getting by I am fine. I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend who takes amazing care of me. Yes, sometimes he gets on my nerves. Sometimes he's a little self absorbed & forgetful but in the end he makes me happier than just about anything. & even though I am lacking money now, I know soon things will sort themselves out & I will get squared away. Struggling is part of youth, it's part of the first years of being on your own. I forget that sometimes & get overwhelmed. I get caught up in superficiality & wanting things when I have everything I could need & that's what it really boils down to. The only thing I feel like I'm really lacking at the moment are relationships. I've lost a connection to my friends & I feel lonely sometimes. It's hard to find the energy to be social when I'm working a constant forty hour week plus mandatory community service. Soon the community service will be done with & I will have more time to connect with my friends again. To all of you who I have neglected, I am sincerely sorry & I hope you still have a place in your life for me.
I love this season because the farmer's market is open. It is honestly one of my biggest joys in life to scour tables for fruits, vegetables, hand made soaps, & jarred things. It has inspired me to start growing my own produce. I've tried it once before but I neglected them & they did what potted plants do, died. Today I planted seeds- tomatoes, sweet & green peppers, strawberries, & forget-me-nots. I like the idea of producing something like this & hopefully it will work out. It is convenient that there is a back porch here & I don't have to let the plants live on a windowsill in an apartment.
I had my sister cut my hair recently. It is incredibly short & I feel awkward in it, but I am constantly getting compliments now. I'm trying to change some lifestyle habits(eating better, not lounging nearly as much, cutting back on the cigarette intake) so the new hair is sort of...appropriate. Hopefully I will grow into it & like it as much as everyone around me does.
At this moment I have a guinea pig running around the back porch with me. He is immensely happy & so am I. Also, I'm buying a Holga soon. :D
I love this season because the farmer's market is open. It is honestly one of my biggest joys in life to scour tables for fruits, vegetables, hand made soaps, & jarred things. It has inspired me to start growing my own produce. I've tried it once before but I neglected them & they did what potted plants do, died. Today I planted seeds- tomatoes, sweet & green peppers, strawberries, & forget-me-nots. I like the idea of producing something like this & hopefully it will work out. It is convenient that there is a back porch here & I don't have to let the plants live on a windowsill in an apartment.
I had my sister cut my hair recently. It is incredibly short & I feel awkward in it, but I am constantly getting compliments now. I'm trying to change some lifestyle habits(eating better, not lounging nearly as much, cutting back on the cigarette intake) so the new hair is sort of...appropriate. Hopefully I will grow into it & like it as much as everyone around me does.
At this moment I have a guinea pig running around the back porch with me. He is immensely happy & so am I. Also, I'm buying a Holga soon. :D