Apr 27, 2005 17:18
I'm a guy. It is inevitable, then, that you consider that I have a penis. I find myself attractive and thus I feel others find me attractive, which expedites your journey to the conclusion that I posess a penis. It's there, and our relationship is just like any other man & penis relationship. I don't stick him in vile places, and as a result he doesn't break out in horrible rashes.
This is a story about how I have close friends who are subjected to me, the sexual me. It's not something in casual conversation that I often discuss, but I was just peeing, and for once I decided maybe my penis deserves a livejournal entry.
At a party, I got extremely drunk. This was a few years ago, and I'll not waste brainpower trying to give an approximation as to the exact date. I was drinking 40 oz. Bud Light. A classy beverage if ever there was one. Hatred was not with me that night. My body felt warm and loving and not capable of being disliked. My tongue was not acid tipped that night. This was the first night a close friend saw my penis.
I was compelled to show him to a room full of people, Chris and Johnny included. Johnny's deftness was remarkable, to say the least. He covered his eyes before my smaller me was fully exposed. Chris was the hapless friend who saw my smaller me. He saw him swing, and bounce, and then become a tucked away penis once again, upon my own volition, mind you. Not because Chris implored that I do so. I think because of this, he has been in constant denial and in reality he enjoyed it. Since then we've remarked upon the incident sparingly. It was my penis, and if it was ever ruled out that I didn't have one, the occupants of the room that night can now safely confirm that I do have one.
Johnny did not evade the second encounter. Again I was drunk, but this time I was exuberant and still warm. Never have I been a cold drunk and subjected my penis to social behavior. Johnny was lounging in an armchair, listless in his drunkenness and not really fraternizing at that moment. To Travis, I loudly exclaimed, "RAGE!" I then grabbed my smaller me, who for some reason was hard and strong, and I rammed him into Johnny's shoulder. The air between Johnny and I became congested with misunderstanding. He furrowed his brows but I was without shame that night. I informed him of what just struck him. Grimly, he accepted this, and we've spoke of it in passing ever since. This was the second time a close friend encountered my penis.
Alcohol assisted me in kissing Tony one night as well, during a session of spin the bottle. Chris declined kissing me, and Tony did not. I kissed a guy, and there was nothing monumental about it. I contemplated letting him touch my penis, but I suppressed the notion, for sure knowing he would decline and possibly arch a brow at me in a fashion that would make me bear shame. Moving right along.
My phone has a camera in it. One day I was marvelling at my erect penis and decided to use my incredibly convenient cameraphone to capture my penis, in pristine posture, taking in sunlight and fighting gravity in its stead. The picture was then uploaded to my webspace. I disseminated this picture to an area where I knew Travis would find it. He found it, and was indifferent towards me for a day perhaps. We then became great friends with that final line crossed. This was the third time a close friend encountered my penis, and on the internet, it was a liberating experience. But my penis no longer felt special, being viewable. I could so easily send the picture to a friend and another thread of dignity and regality would be stripped from my penis. I deleted the picture after Travis saw it.
Those are my adventures as it relates to my penis. Every day, or almost every day, I let him know that he is loved. I take care of him, I shave designs around him. He is mine and not yours. Although it is possible that you have one of your own. Capable of moving worlds and creating remarkable escapades, the penis is a beacon of both misunderstanding and humor, of pride and of humility.