Dear Ruth,
Your birthday came and went last week. The years somehow keep passing by. And here I am for the first time in months - crying. I know it isn't what you want but I think you'd know it isn't a real sadness. It truly is a beautiful love. I can't stop missing you.
But I am scared for our family. Some amazing things have happened. Sam and Missy are a gorgeous couple. Chad and Danielle are getting married in less than 2 months. But Grandma - it has been hard. None of us are going to Danielle's wedding. I don't even know anymore if she will make it to Cancun. I am worried about her. She has lost so much weight, she is barely sleeping - this thing in her head may not being growing or need surgery but it is killing her. Slowly, surely. She is losing her mind.
But she isn't the only one to have lost. I never say anything but I always hug Missy a little bit tighter now.
I hope you are proud of me. I hope you know how much I miss you. How often I think of you. I have to picture of us at your surprise birthday on my dresser. We were so happy. You were so amazing. How were you so strong? How did you raise so many crazy, stubborn, ridiculous, amazing people and then keep us all together and loving each other? I miss that too. I miss being one big family, instead of two smaller ones.
It has been almost 4 years. But I will never stop thinking of you and all the things you taught me. Somethings really are forever.
I love you.
But I am scared for our family. Some amazing things have happened. Sam and Missy are a gorgeous couple. Chad and Danielle are getting married in less than 2 months. But Grandma - it has been hard. None of us are going to Danielle's wedding. I don't even know anymore if she will make it to Cancun. I am worried about her. She has lost so much weight, she is barely sleeping - this thing in her head may not being growing or need surgery but it is killing her. Slowly, surely. She is losing her mind.
But she isn't the only one to have lost. I never say anything but I always hug Missy a little bit tighter now.
I hope you are proud of me. I hope you know how much I miss you. How often I think of you. I have to picture of us at your surprise birthday on my dresser. We were so happy. You were so amazing. How were you so strong? How did you raise so many crazy, stubborn, ridiculous, amazing people and then keep us all together and loving each other? I miss that too. I miss being one big family, instead of two smaller ones.
It has been almost 4 years. But I will never stop thinking of you and all the things you taught me. Somethings really are forever.
I love you.