With love from me to you
This is about the spirit of giving.
Christmas is clearly far too commercialized. It's not that I'm against gifts. But gifts are about the connection between the giver and the recipient. Here's why I'm thinking about this: I always have trouble thinking of what to get my family. My dad is notoriously hard to shop for, but I'm generally not very good at thinking of stuff for my mom or sister either. What often ends up happening is that they give me a very specific idea - a certain item, even down to a url for a product. And that's not what giving is about. It's not supposed to be about buying, about "I want this specific item". It should be about "Well, I could use a new sweater" and the person finding a sweater they think you'll like. Or another way: my parents now go shopping together, picking out things for each other together - it's not about what specifically they're getting, but about the shared time together.
The best gift I've ever given was a set of picture frames I gave to Sarah. I got the idea from Ruth. There were five, in the shape of letters: S A R A H, and in the spaces of the letters, there were pictures of us. I made it myself in the scene shop. And it was wonderful. First of all, the craftsmanship was very good, and I'm proud of that. But it was a gift from the heart, something very special. The other gift I want to highlight was an ornament my mom, my sister and I got for my dad. My dad had an ornament of his mother's that he loved; we put on the tree every year, but one year he accidentally broke it. Some time later, randomly, in an antique shop, we came across the exact same ornament, and got it for my dad. These are gifts that exemplify what gift-giving is supposed to be about.
When you ask someone for a specific item, the gift becomes mostly meaningless. They are basically handing you money, and that's it. Why is the present even wrapped? I feel bad because I couldn't think of much that I wanted from my parents for Christmas other than specific items, and so there isn't going to be much surprise this year.
The culture of consumption turns Christmas into an orgy of materialism, and I hate that. It's why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving is not commercialized - the day after may be, but the event itself is about being with loved ones, pure and simple.
A final note to people who observe Christmas as the birth of Jesus Christ: by asking for and giving gifts just for the acquisition of material goods, you are about as far away from celebrating the life and message of Jesus as you can get. You may as well spend the 25th hating thy enemy, hiding the other cheek, and changing money in temples.
Let's minimize the gifts. I happened to turn on CNN today, and there was a woman on from the Center for a New American Dream (a place that sounds like something I might want to become involved with). She was talking about about how to reduce materialism and consumption in the holidays. Instead of giving stuff, give time: a promise for a special meal with relatives, or a night doing something they love. Give a savings bond, or give to charity in their name. Give gifts both the giver and recipient can be proud of. Take a look for yourself here.
A disclaimer: my Christmas this year is materialistic. I didn't have time to talk to my family about changing it. I plan to start next year.