i'm a lover, not a fighter.
i've been on a cruise with Miss Adorable for a couple months now. but the captain was distracted with all the beautiful mountains and glorious sights along the way tonight; and sank the ship.
i am no longer at a high with the bullshit we call summer flings/summer romance/puppy love/our teenage years.
for me i've been a failure. i feel my whole world has been disrupted and i'm not connecting with anyone. i can't talk to the friends who are trying to pull me up out of the hole. i can't look at them without the gloomy solid look on my face.
with each unstructured comment the flight of stairs finally tumbled into old,unused,rubble.
i hope we can still be friends.
i do love you.
i dont know what's wrong with me.
i think my nephew is on funniest home videos.
laughing in the background.
things will change when we go back to school.
i have mixed feelings.
i dont know what i want.
you dont really mean that.
you deserve better.
i said i'd call you back.
i cant explain anything to you.
i hope you get better and happy.
im incapable.
i dont know how im feeling.
TO SUM IT UP: nothing was productive. im a cryer. im not strong. she doesn't care, does it sound like it? she doesn't recognize i need her to say. im sorry, ill make it work, we can fix this, i love you enough to try.
that's too much to ask? so i should go on like it never happened.
I'M ALREADY MISSING:
kisses. short.and long.in the car.outside.under water.on the futon.on the hand.cheek.ear.
hugs are so different with you.
laughing so hard we fall to the ground.
scary car rides and holding onto for dear life..to each other.
telling stories of our pasts and understanding..each other.
paying for dinner and not caring about it.
back massages.
pool time.
telling jokes.stories.white lies to make it sound better.
holding hands like its so important.
surprises.
long rides to our destinations because they are always worth it.
livejournaling.
laying under the stars.
singing to you.
writing songs for you.
missing you.
loving you.
telling you you are beautiful.
--i can't go on. but i dedicate trouble sleeping to you always.
where are you, love, im trying to find you...
i am no longer at a high with the bullshit we call summer flings/summer romance/puppy love/our teenage years.
for me i've been a failure. i feel my whole world has been disrupted and i'm not connecting with anyone. i can't talk to the friends who are trying to pull me up out of the hole. i can't look at them without the gloomy solid look on my face.
with each unstructured comment the flight of stairs finally tumbled into old,unused,rubble.
i hope we can still be friends.
i do love you.
i dont know what's wrong with me.
i think my nephew is on funniest home videos.
laughing in the background.
things will change when we go back to school.
i have mixed feelings.
i dont know what i want.
you dont really mean that.
you deserve better.
i said i'd call you back.
i cant explain anything to you.
i hope you get better and happy.
im incapable.
i dont know how im feeling.
TO SUM IT UP: nothing was productive. im a cryer. im not strong. she doesn't care, does it sound like it? she doesn't recognize i need her to say. im sorry, ill make it work, we can fix this, i love you enough to try.
that's too much to ask? so i should go on like it never happened.
I'M ALREADY MISSING:
kisses. short.and long.in the car.outside.under water.on the futon.on the hand.cheek.ear.
hugs are so different with you.
laughing so hard we fall to the ground.
scary car rides and holding onto for dear life..to each other.
telling stories of our pasts and understanding..each other.
paying for dinner and not caring about it.
back massages.
pool time.
telling jokes.stories.white lies to make it sound better.
holding hands like its so important.
surprises.
long rides to our destinations because they are always worth it.
livejournaling.
laying under the stars.
singing to you.
writing songs for you.
missing you.
loving you.
telling you you are beautiful.
--i can't go on. but i dedicate trouble sleeping to you always.
where are you, love, im trying to find you...