How to Steal from an Ebay Seller

Sep 01, 2009 22:33

Well, my recent experience with PayPal (Sucks) has taught me how to steal any item from any Ebay seller in a few easy steps. I will share the step by step guide here (thanks PayPal (Sucks) for making it so easy) and then explain the situation.

******* DISCLAIMER *******

The following is intended to illustrate the stupidity of the PayPal (Sucks) dispute "resolution" system. Stealing is not nice, it is very bad and in most cases, illegal. So don't do it, it wouldn't be nice. And you might get in trouble. If you do follow this and get in trouble, shame on you! But don't blame me, as I said, don't do this at home!

1) Find something on Ebay that you really want. Since you are risking (barely) being caught, you might as well go for something good and expensive, like a computer or television.
2) Verify that the seller is either not including insurance or is offering it as optional.
3) Bid as high as you need to so that you are the lucky winner. You will need enough money/credit to actually pay for the item, but don't worry, PayPal (sucks) will give it all back.
4) Pay for your item and arrange shipping. Don't waste your time or money on insurance, unless you want to be nice to the seller. Again, don't worry, PayPal (Sucks) will give all your money back.
5) Wait for your item to arrive. Don't be home to sign for it. Make sure you can get it left on your door step without face to face contact.
6) Fill a dispute with PayPal (Sucks) and call the shipper to tell them the box was empty when it arrived. If you want to go the extra mile, take some pictures of the empty box and show it to a friend or two and tell them that it arrived empty.
7) Escalate the dispute to a claim with PayPal (Sucks) and tell them the box was empty.
8) Wait a few days and PayPal (Sucks) will refund your money.

That's it, a simple 8 step guide to stealing anything you want from an Ebay Seller. Keep in mind that this will probably only work once, maybe twice if you wait a long while between claims and buy some other stuff in between) before PayPal gets suspicious. Of course, you can always open another account and try some more.

So, how did I come up with this wonderful way to rip off an Ebay seller? Why, PayPal (Sucks) taught it all to me through their horrifically one sided dispute "resolution" system.

I sold an item on Ebay and shipped it dutifully to the buyer. The package was shipped via FedEx and I taped it up pretty well. Somehow the item went missing between California and Colorado, that or the buyer stole it because someone had already taught them the system laid out above.

The buyer, before trying to contact me (hmmmm, does this sound fishy to you, it doesn't to PayPal (Sucks)), immediately filed a dispute with PayPal and demanded a full refund. They didn't even give FedEx a chance to locate the supposedly lost item, they went straight to demanding refunds. I'd call that a red flag, PayPal (Sucks) calls that a good excuse to take away your money.

The buyer waited 48 hours, over the weekend, for FedEx to locate the item and then escalated the dispute to a claim. Again, my warning bells are going off, this is a ripoff scam, why not wait the full 10 days to give FedEx a chance to find the item. My guess is because the buyer knows that item won't be found by FedEx because the buyer has the item. I can't prove it, but that's my guess.

So, PayPal (Sucks) asks for evidence in the case. My evidence, information from FedEx showing that the package was shipped at 8 lbs, so I definitely didn't ship and empty box. His evidence? As far as I can tell, he says it was empty. I know what you must be thinking right now, his evidence is laughable, which it is, but then so is PayPal (Sucks) dispute "resolution" process.

After their in depth investigation (it lasted a whole 48 hours, maybe) PayPal (Sucks) gave the buyer their money back, but here's the best part. The buyer is required to ship the item (that supposedly never arrived) back to me. Now, I know you're thinking, SWEET JUSTICE! But again, you are wrong, because logic and reason are completely absent at PayPal (Sucks) (Aren't you glad they have access directly to your banking account and can take money out of it anytime they please. You can trust them though, because, you know, they are smart and logical and make sound decisions based on reason. Well, not really. They are none of those things. Be afraid, be very afraid. Why is your account still open?)

So, the buyer has to ship the item back to me to get their refund. What does PayPal (Sucks) require them to do to make sure that I, the seller, am protected from a buyer stealing something? Why, they just have to give PayPal (Sucks) a tracking number and that proves the item was returned. You'd think that if the buyer can get money back by providing a tracking number as "proof" of shipment that a seller would get to keep their money by doing the same. But no, again, you'd be thinking logically and applying reason, which isn't the way things work at PayPal (Sucks).

So, if you want your financial accounts in the hands of irrational idiots, you're in great hands over at PayPal (Sucks). If, however, you aren't insane, you should strongly consider closing your PayPal account, or at the very least, only using it where you're the buyer.

Please, if you think people should be warned about the dangers of using PayPal (Sucks) as an intermediary, repost this as far and wide as you can. If you think your friends and family should be left at the mercy of PayPal (Sucks) draconian and brainless policies, do nothing.
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