[private entry]
He didn't propose, and I'm incredibly relieved. Marriage is an outdated institution, and no one really needs a piece of paper validating their love for each other. Besides, we have a lot to work on in our relationship still. We bicker far too much over trivial things, and he's not even met all of my family. Beyond one of his younger brothers, I've met absolutely none of his. Our careers are still largely up in the air and the last thing we need is another responsibility complicating things.
And yet, there had been a moment there where I'd genuinely thought he was going to ask me to marry him and now that I know he wasn't, I can't help but feel the slightest bit...disappointed. Considering I was going to tell him no, feeling disappointed at all makes me a bit more fickle than I have any right to be. Perhaps it's not so much that I wish we were engaged than that I wish our relationship had matured to a place where I would actually feel like such a thing would be a good idea.
It doesn't matter either way, really. We're not ready for it and I think both of us know that. I'm certainly not going to be getting down on one knee any time soon.
And yet, there had been a moment there where I'd genuinely thought he was going to ask me to marry him and now that I know he wasn't, I can't help but feel the slightest bit...disappointed. Considering I was going to tell him no, feeling disappointed at all makes me a bit more fickle than I have any right to be. Perhaps it's not so much that I wish we were engaged than that I wish our relationship had matured to a place where I would actually feel like such a thing would be a good idea.
It doesn't matter either way, really. We're not ready for it and I think both of us know that. I'm certainly not going to be getting down on one knee any time soon.