Don't let your soul get lonely child
So I kinda fixed my sleeping pattern. I kinda stayed up all day yesterday so, I could fix my sleeping pattern. Looks like it may have worked...not sure how long it will last though ha.
I woke up from a dream. It was sad but yet really nice at the same time.
It made me really appreciate my big family, i say big family cuz all of my friends are like family. I do have those "just friends", but everyone mainly i know is really close. They have all been there for me and my family. They've seen me at my worst and were they're to help me out so much. I remember one specific moment. I was lost i was just outside crying like bawling. When a vehicle pulls up, and 5 guys walk out. Each of them coming to help me out lending me their shoulders to cry on ha no really i left bugers and all.
It was nice, no one has ever said anything like making jokes of me crying. I'm still amazed they have not. haha
They have also seen me at my best, and they were there to bring me back to life. Just to remind me i was not invincible.
I have changed,
I am now a believer that everything happens for a reason.
God, will never put you through anything you can not handle.
If you struggle he sends help.
I know this, because he has surrounded me with a bunch of great people...assholes at times
but None the less family is what i call them.
From opening their houses to me, to offering meals, and to picking me up when it seemed
like i could no longer stand.
I went back to one of my blogs "A mother's love" it was an update about my mom and how...well bad she has it. And i got nothing but great support from everyone even friends i've never met. Like darth. lol.
It's a great support system i have without even knowing, I had one.
I thank God for it.
He always seems to do the most craziest things, but somehow it always turns out alright.
When I had hit that rough patch, with school, being homeless and what not....I just kept asking myself "why me, why me, have i not been good"
Right before that breaking point...
I got a random message from a stranger and this is what it said.
"i just wanted to say that you seem pretty cool, kinda real among the fake
well most people, go to their page and you cant see past the mask they wear, their blogs are about the latest trends and fashions and their pictures, well it seems like they just want to show off. your blogs seemed real, i could feel pain when i read the one about your mother being ill, and even though i dont know you or the current situation, i too prayed for her well being, i mean you wrote that out of love for your mother, most people are afraid to show that type of feeling. as for your pics, you dont post yourself body building or with a million half naked women, it's you being you, living life"
So i did my best to walk the line, with whatever i had, at the time.
That had brought me up, just when i was going to give up.
I do no longer take life for granted.
I know everything will turn out ok in the end.
I know He will be there for me and know that he will test me and put me through troubles...only because he knows I can come through it.
It may seem like i give in easily and put it in HIS hands.
But i will still Fight for what i believe, fight whatever he puts infront of me.
I won't go down till i am fully drained, even if i have one ounce left I'll fight for that one ounce if it's what i wanted.
Although i may come out scared, battered, and bruised...
I’ve stared my demons in the eyes
Faced my fears
They did their best to destroy me
They may have taken my life,
My arms
My legs
But they can’t take my
Heart nor my soul.
I am still here
With scares on my chest
But still standing.
Ready to face whatever comes my way
In the end of what is just the beginning
I’ve learned a lot not only in school but,
i've learned alot about myself and about others as well.
i've grown as an individual and matured.
i've realized that life is not all that is cracked up to be, but its how we come out of it, that will define us.
I guess i'm defined very damn well.
i'm working on my problem, of not being so closed minded, or rather scared( taking the easy way out) instead take that step into the dark and uncertain it may lead to great things and accomplishments.
and i think i might be improving.
And i've done some things that make me feel proud of myself, I guess I’m not completely hopeless, and i do have at least a clue of what i'm doing. so life is well
I guess I'm ready for, what not only school has to throw me this year but life as well.
I woke up from a dream. It was sad but yet really nice at the same time.
It made me really appreciate my big family, i say big family cuz all of my friends are like family. I do have those "just friends", but everyone mainly i know is really close. They have all been there for me and my family. They've seen me at my worst and were they're to help me out so much. I remember one specific moment. I was lost i was just outside crying like bawling. When a vehicle pulls up, and 5 guys walk out. Each of them coming to help me out lending me their shoulders to cry on ha no really i left bugers and all.
It was nice, no one has ever said anything like making jokes of me crying. I'm still amazed they have not. haha
They have also seen me at my best, and they were there to bring me back to life. Just to remind me i was not invincible.
I have changed,
I am now a believer that everything happens for a reason.
God, will never put you through anything you can not handle.
If you struggle he sends help.
I know this, because he has surrounded me with a bunch of great people...assholes at times
but None the less family is what i call them.
From opening their houses to me, to offering meals, and to picking me up when it seemed
like i could no longer stand.
I went back to one of my blogs "A mother's love" it was an update about my mom and how...well bad she has it. And i got nothing but great support from everyone even friends i've never met. Like darth. lol.
It's a great support system i have without even knowing, I had one.
I thank God for it.
He always seems to do the most craziest things, but somehow it always turns out alright.
When I had hit that rough patch, with school, being homeless and what not....I just kept asking myself "why me, why me, have i not been good"
Right before that breaking point...
I got a random message from a stranger and this is what it said.
"i just wanted to say that you seem pretty cool, kinda real among the fake
well most people, go to their page and you cant see past the mask they wear, their blogs are about the latest trends and fashions and their pictures, well it seems like they just want to show off. your blogs seemed real, i could feel pain when i read the one about your mother being ill, and even though i dont know you or the current situation, i too prayed for her well being, i mean you wrote that out of love for your mother, most people are afraid to show that type of feeling. as for your pics, you dont post yourself body building or with a million half naked women, it's you being you, living life"
So i did my best to walk the line, with whatever i had, at the time.
That had brought me up, just when i was going to give up.
I do no longer take life for granted.
I know everything will turn out ok in the end.
I know He will be there for me and know that he will test me and put me through troubles...only because he knows I can come through it.
It may seem like i give in easily and put it in HIS hands.
But i will still Fight for what i believe, fight whatever he puts infront of me.
I won't go down till i am fully drained, even if i have one ounce left I'll fight for that one ounce if it's what i wanted.
Although i may come out scared, battered, and bruised...
I’ve stared my demons in the eyes
Faced my fears
They did their best to destroy me
They may have taken my life,
My arms
My legs
But they can’t take my
Heart nor my soul.
I am still here
With scares on my chest
But still standing.
Ready to face whatever comes my way
In the end of what is just the beginning
I’ve learned a lot not only in school but,
i've learned alot about myself and about others as well.
i've grown as an individual and matured.
i've realized that life is not all that is cracked up to be, but its how we come out of it, that will define us.
I guess i'm defined very damn well.
i'm working on my problem, of not being so closed minded, or rather scared( taking the easy way out) instead take that step into the dark and uncertain it may lead to great things and accomplishments.
and i think i might be improving.
And i've done some things that make me feel proud of myself, I guess I’m not completely hopeless, and i do have at least a clue of what i'm doing. so life is well
I guess I'm ready for, what not only school has to throw me this year but life as well.