(no subject)
Really struggling right now and I have no one to turn to for support. Finding it really hard to eat for the past couple of weeks, and I know I'm just digging myself in deeper by restricting, but everything just seems so hard right now. I'm not sure I want to 'recover' anymore. Digging through all this hard shit is just so draining, and I'm starting to think that I was happier when I was throwing up and self destructing, and not wanting to recover. My therapist says I'm just going through a tough time right now because we've been working on tough stuff in therapy and that's brought all this shit to the surface. Thing is, I have no idea how to deal with it. I honestly have no idea, and I'm not sure I really care anymore.