too short of a weekend
Well Friday came, Saturday flew by, and Sunday went. I hope that all weekends aren't like that one. It was beautiful though! I really did enjoy the sunshine. Lately I have been very depressed because the man of my dreams, whom I love with all my heart, has not been with me in almost a month! I miss him so much that it literally kills me! If you haven't heard yet, David and I got engaged on Oct. 23, 2004, PRHS Homecoming '04. It was the most incredible, romantic evenings of my life. We had homemade jumbo that his dad made for us, we dinned at his house by candlelight, we slow danced next to the table to romantic music. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it! I have never felt so special by any man before! He really treats me like a queen. We got to the dance, we went to take our picture and he proposed as they took it. I can't believe I have already found the man I'm suppose to be with for the rest of my life. Last year, I thought he didn't even exsist. Boy was I wrong. But then eventually he had to leave after having about a month with him. He came down for Christmas, but didn't stay very long. Then I thought I was going up there for my 18th birthday. I'm 18!! I can't believe it. It's finally legal for me to date him. But my parents are assholes! No one understands that my parents really despise David. They hate me growing up, they hate David and me together, and they really hate the idea of marriage at my young age. But I don't plan on getting married until after college. That is the smart way. They don't see that! I have so many choice words and things I could really say about them, but then I just get really heated and fusterated, it's not worth it. I don't care about my family. We aren't close at all, and we're never really big on giving out affection, so I don't plan on it giving to them, I will give it to my true love. The family I start with David, will be nothing like how my family reacted to each other. I can safely say I don't know my family and they don't know me. My parents are just.........they aren't enough words in the English language, or even the correct word to describe what my parents are. But to be very recent David got to come down this weekend. He got in on Saturday at 10:50 and left that afternoon at 4:30. If it were up to me, I would be up there almost every weekend if I could. I swear my parents want this relationship to end, and they want me to be miserable, well I have news for them, it's not going to end. I won't let it! I have more faith and support in this relationship than they have ever had in my entire life. I don't care how proud they are of me, I know it's all bullshit and they are faking it. Deep down they could really care less. And they call me selfish. God, I don't know why they can't look at themselves and see that they are ignorant, judgemental, assholes. Life isn't fair, but I don't think that it's fair that my parents react like they are my brother's age. I can honestly say I'm more mature than my parents. I cannot stand being here at my house. Oh well, I will leaving here soon. Won't bother me any. I just need to get a vehicle. Because once again, my parents feel the need to repeat that "my" car that I pay for, is not mine. I pay $100 a month to use the f-ing thing! It's irritating! The only thing that keeps me going is my love for David. The fact that my future has him and myself alone is just a wonderful sight and that's what I am walking towards. A beautiful future of love, family, unity, and happiness with him and me and our children. But to add another note, when he left on Saturday afternoon, I cried driving home. It really hurts seeing him leave. I get very depressed and lonesome, and the bitchy and cranky to everyone because my true love has left. The one person I wish I could be with 24/7 has to leave 6 hours after I see him. I am not sure if anyone has to go through that, but I can only hope that no one does. It kills you and your heart.