not doing so hott...
without having to explain what is going on in my life and hearing more and more people bitch and groan to me about how bad of a mistake i have made or have them tell me, "What the hell are you doing?!" i will just say that my life is not doing so great. i am perfectly fine, but i guess the relationships in my life are going down the drain because of things i have done. but some of the relationships i am being forced into and don't want to be forced to tell me things about me i don't want to share. i hate doing that. some relationships i may loose because of decisions i have made and now i guess i'm paying for the consequences. my parents are being assholes and i hate being at home. i cannot wait until college and i have more of a thrill to get into college than graduating right now. but speaking of graduating i only have 17 days left of hellish high school. so many people have said that i'm gonna miss it, but i think i will enjoy college too much to miss high school. but onto another subject....my ex-fiance, david, and i haven't spoken i normally just text him with whatever i need but other than that i just don't talk to him. i just speak to him to get my money back. with agee, at uga, we haven't seen each other in awhile but we do talk whenever he can get online. we really don't call each other, which is fine by me, because i have met him so it doesn't really matter. but he is a really nice guy and i think he's really sweet. i'm not sure what is to come out of that. but that reminds me, i did get a prom date and his name is Spud. i asked him if he would go with me and he said yes. he's super sweet and i know he will MOST DEFINATELY get along with the group i'm going with and will make prom more enjoyale. we aren't going to see Ashlenn anymore, so we are eating at the norcross station cafe at 6:30 and then prom starts at 8:30. after prom we are going to katie's house and hopefully we can have some fun there. most everyone is going to hotels afterwards and i thought i wanted to do that and have josh or someone bring alcohol but i know that if i do that i may make another mistake and i don't want that, even though i do trust everyone in my group. trust is such a weird concept. i'm not sure i fully understand why anyone trusts anyone, even parents. i know that if i was a parent right now i wouldn't trust anyone. the world is so fucked up that it's hard too. anyways....right now i'm feeling really alone. i miss being in love and being loved by someone. i called my good friend, almost my best friend chris in flordia and he's such a good friend that i thought i fell for him. so i spoke my mind and told him what i was thinking and feeling and he wasn't feeling the same way but it's ok...because i knew it wouldn't have worked even if we did feel the same thing. we are about to move into two different directions, location wise, and it just wouldn't work out. it's really ashame because i know chris so well, and i know that the next girl to come into his life to be with him, is gonna be spoiled in a good way, and she will be incredibly lucky to have him. he's a gem! i haven't met any guy like him, which i guess is another reason why i like him. but i do still like him, as a person and a really good friend, but since his feelings don't go any further than that for me, i will not let mine. but that's basically about it. i'm stressed b/c of school and work and i have no money but also there is so much tension in my house that college is going to be so great for my parents and me. but i will update later on sometime! i am putting up some new pics b/c this week was Senior week but will only have pics from one day! lol! check it out soon!