my heart isn't unspoken, it's broken into a million pieces
starting from the beginning. on saturday i was suppose to work 1 to 5 and ended up working 1 to 8. after i got home from work i went over to David's because he wanted to talk. when i got there he gave me a hug and held me for about 3 mintues and i felt the tingles all over again. i fell in love with him again. it felt amazing. we went up into his room and talked about everything. he said that his mind was doubting whether our relationship was gonna work out in the end and he wasn't sure about anything or why he was even thinking about it. after crying and getting so upset and just seeing his eyes become empty i left and went to my house and got everything (almost everything) that he gave me or had anything to do with me, back to him. i went back over to his house and dropped it off. vicki and i talked about everything and then after that David and I talked somemore and to just wrap up the whole conversation, and all the drama and tears i cried (and still cry) he said he didn't love me as much as he used to anymore. he broke my heart, when he said he would never break it. i gave him everything i could. and now my heart aches. it literally hurts. i cannot describe it but i'm so miserable. i hate it. i have lost my best friend, my suppose-to-be husband. i planned and dreamt of a future with this man, and now i will never see it happen. it's over and i'll never get it back. i loved him and will always love him. and what's even worse is that today is our 9 month anniversary, or would have been. to have someone say they don't love you anymore or as much as they used to is the worst thing that could happen. why does this happen to me? why do i give my all into someone when in the end i get bit in the ass and somehow can't find a way to get out. i hate this so much, and i'm such a fool because after all of this, i still love him. right now i'm just gonna sit and rock myself in a corner and just cry, because that's all my heart is able to do. it hurts so bad!!!