here comes the sun and i say... it's alright.
I want to update this thing, but I don't want to write about anything real. Useless isn't it?
I would rather be anywhere else right now. Although, I'm pretty sure that no matter where I ended up I would be just as miserable. Its dependant on the company, really. & I know that I am unwanted. Pathetic.
It seems like I almost never write in here unless I'm not in the best of moods. Maybe I'm sick. I would be the last to know.
I miss Jack.
I miss Kourtney.
I wish like hell that they missed me. Is it odd that I want so badly to be told that I am someone? That I am anyone at all? I wish I wasn't so fucking afraid of asking for a little bit of help. Maybe I'm just too clingy. Maybe I need to lighten up. Maybe it's all in my head after all. Maybe I am somebody.
Clingy. I would kill to find a clingy person. I want to be clung to.
I wish I had a movie to watch or a book to read or someone to talk to. I just want to be distracted. Fuck it. I don't think I could concentrate anyway. I need to be sedated, but I can't even do that. I'm not independant enough. I know that doesn't make any sense.
I can't wait until I get a car. I will drive for mile and miles. I'll get away any time I need to get away. I need to get away right now. "If we can just make it to the year mark... everything will be so much easier then." You have no idea how true that is.
I apologize for being this way. I'm not always like this. It's just been a long, hard day. They really are getting longer aren't they?
Aah.. there you have it. Fiction has never been a strong point of mine.
"Do you really think we'll make it that far?"
"I know we will."
I honestly hope so.