(no subject)
i stopped making ,y posts private, no1 uses lj nemore newayz, its just a good way to get my feelings out, so basically ne1 can read it, but if u dont usually talk 2 me n u try to comfort me i'll have to slap u, n im being totally serious, i am not looking 4 pitty
U immediately kno when ur mom tells u that she’s flying out 2 c her mother in florida the next morning that sumtins not right. My grandmother is dying. Its hard to actually think of that. Ive never had any1 close 2 me die befor, I still have all my grandparents. U don’t want to believe it. But when the acual dying person says it it’s a lil diff. “my uncle will be there by saterday” “yes but I wont be” that has to be the sadest fucking 2 sentences ive ever heard. If she lived it would be a miracle, im not to sure my grandma would enjoy it all that much neway. She’s kinda like a vegetable, sits in a wheel chair, needs an oxygen tank n cant remember her own childrens names. My mom says she would fly the whole family out if theres a funeral. I don’t want to go. I haven’t seen my grandma in over 4 yrs n I don’t see the point of finally going 2 visit after she’s gone. I can just imagine it now. All the random family that I don’t kno crying and my mother crying and my grandpa crying and me just sitting there. I don’t like to cry in public, its just the way I am, and I hate funerals. I guess I never rele knew her that well. She was always kinda sickly as far as I can remember and very old. I don’t kno wut my grandpa will do without her. Shes all he has. I kno that he knew she was dying, but I think once shes gone hes got nothing to do then slowly wither away. I don’t think I can watch an old mans heart be broken. N I don’t think im gonna fly down 2 florida. I’ll keep the emotions about the woman I never rele knew locked up in my room. I don’t like to cry to ppl. I don’t like letting the ppl I love know im upset. I guess its not that good. My mom yells at me when I don’t comfort her when shes upset, but I just don’t kno wut 2 say. She didn’t cry infront o f me this time, I guess that’s a good thing for me
U immediately kno when ur mom tells u that she’s flying out 2 c her mother in florida the next morning that sumtins not right. My grandmother is dying. Its hard to actually think of that. Ive never had any1 close 2 me die befor, I still have all my grandparents. U don’t want to believe it. But when the acual dying person says it it’s a lil diff. “my uncle will be there by saterday” “yes but I wont be” that has to be the sadest fucking 2 sentences ive ever heard. If she lived it would be a miracle, im not to sure my grandma would enjoy it all that much neway. She’s kinda like a vegetable, sits in a wheel chair, needs an oxygen tank n cant remember her own childrens names. My mom says she would fly the whole family out if theres a funeral. I don’t want to go. I haven’t seen my grandma in over 4 yrs n I don’t see the point of finally going 2 visit after she’s gone. I can just imagine it now. All the random family that I don’t kno crying and my mother crying and my grandpa crying and me just sitting there. I don’t like to cry in public, its just the way I am, and I hate funerals. I guess I never rele knew her that well. She was always kinda sickly as far as I can remember and very old. I don’t kno wut my grandpa will do without her. Shes all he has. I kno that he knew she was dying, but I think once shes gone hes got nothing to do then slowly wither away. I don’t think I can watch an old mans heart be broken. N I don’t think im gonna fly down 2 florida. I’ll keep the emotions about the woman I never rele knew locked up in my room. I don’t like to cry to ppl. I don’t like letting the ppl I love know im upset. I guess its not that good. My mom yells at me when I don’t comfort her when shes upset, but I just don’t kno wut 2 say. She didn’t cry infront o f me this time, I guess that’s a good thing for me