Will you ever be ready?
J,
It's been years since we started hooking up. I told you at the beginning that I loved you, but you were with her off and on (though I didn't know it then) so our public friendship was with groups of people and after midnight we were together. Then, the day you told me you wanted to be with me, I told you I met someone else and wasn't going to see you anymore. After 2 years I saw you again and knew I had made such a mistake. Now we are back to hooking up whenever I can make it down to see you, and it's really fun and amazing. You are the only person I can be completely myself around without worrying what you will think. Except for the ever louder part of myself that makes it harder and harder for me to leave every time we are together. And that part of me that knows I am falling in love with you all over again. I want to tell you that I know. I know that you are falling for me. And I know you don't want to be. Did you know you tell me you love me in your sleep? But I am the only person who has been by your side even wehn you may not have deserved it. Who defends you even when you're wrong. I don't know how long I can keep doing this, because I want to be with you more and more every time I see you. I really believe it's time for you to give us a chance to be happy together, for real this time. I don't just want your nights every once and a while. I want everynight. And everyday. I love you.
It's been years since we started hooking up. I told you at the beginning that I loved you, but you were with her off and on (though I didn't know it then) so our public friendship was with groups of people and after midnight we were together. Then, the day you told me you wanted to be with me, I told you I met someone else and wasn't going to see you anymore. After 2 years I saw you again and knew I had made such a mistake. Now we are back to hooking up whenever I can make it down to see you, and it's really fun and amazing. You are the only person I can be completely myself around without worrying what you will think. Except for the ever louder part of myself that makes it harder and harder for me to leave every time we are together. And that part of me that knows I am falling in love with you all over again. I want to tell you that I know. I know that you are falling for me. And I know you don't want to be. Did you know you tell me you love me in your sleep? But I am the only person who has been by your side even wehn you may not have deserved it. Who defends you even when you're wrong. I don't know how long I can keep doing this, because I want to be with you more and more every time I see you. I really believe it's time for you to give us a chance to be happy together, for real this time. I don't just want your nights every once and a while. I want everynight. And everyday. I love you.