Struggling
Today the painters started work on the house interior. They're doing a fine job, neutralizing everything, but I feel like one of those homeowners on a This House is Hard to Sell type of program, wailing "but it doesn't look like my house any more!" I'm telling myself that I just want the house to sell, get over it, but it's a little disorienting.
Ricardo is finding the whole process particularly confusing and upsetting. His poor brain is not responding well, forgetting something we just talked about, not noticing parcels that are piled to be carried downstairs, getting thoroughly confused about what we will be doing next. I tried making a list for him, but he said that seeing all the items ( I think there were only 5) made him terribly upset. I'm sympathetic but don't know how to make things easier or less stressful for him. Maybe there is no way, and we'lll just have to wait until we get settled in before he can return to ordinary functioning.
I give him credit for admitting what is going on for him and how he feels about it. I can imagine that men hate to admit not being able to cope, and it certainly must be hard for him that I have to do most of the work, because he has always been one to do his full share and more. It's even worse for him because under this stress, he needs even more help with things like just getting dressed. And when I'm stressed, my ability to be patient suffers, but he never complains if I'm impatient with him. He's really a hero through all this.
Today we took shopping bags of clothes as well as many framed prints and paintings to the St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store, then took bags of magazines to the recycling center (Ricardo collected model railroad magazines, I collected quilting and sewing ones). And there's still more stuff to go through and get rid of. What haunts me now is the realization that no matter how much stuff we discard, when we start to open boxes and put things away in the new place, it will seem like an endless task.
There will come a time, though, when we are happily settled in, enjoying our new digs. I'll hang on to that image--it will happen!