i hate home
god my stepmom has been irritating me so much lately!! she like feels the need explain EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! like why the hell do i need how adam dowell died explained to me WHEN I JUST FUCKING EXPLAINED IT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!! i cant even look at her anymore thats how bad it is. i dont really look anyone in the eye anymore its kinda bad i suppose. its just either i dont like the person or im not feeling confidant.
i'm pissed at alot of ppl from school too. cause they're not too busy for me when they want something from me or i'm taking them on a trip to florida or if my stepbrother's in town and they want to hang out with him. yeah everyones always SOOO busy for me but if i drive past their house in the middle of the day their car is still there! i try soooo Freakin hard to be friends with some ppl and they just push me away. i know when you try too hard it "annoys ppl" but seriously why the fuck do you get annoyed take it as a fucking compliment.!!! are you retarded?! or do you just not get the fact that some ppl are losers?! god i fucking hate this, i hate feeling like shit and being treated like shit. im so fucking sick of HEARING about how much ppl care about me, why dont you acually SHOW IT!?!?!?
Am I a bad person? did i not get a the memo? all the time i do this i rant and bitch about how suckie my friends are and i cant even go out and get new friends because they wouldnt want to deal with me either, i'm just not good enough for anyone. i still see alex and beth in my basement basically telling me all this stuff i need to "work on" to get friends. alex doesnt even talk to me anymore,except right after she lost in the class elections for secretary to Ryanwhateverthefuckhisnamewas. that must have been a slap in the face for her. a long overdue slap in the face to wake her up to the reality that everyone hated her so much they voted for someone they didnt even know so she wouldnt get into office. whatever shes prolly crying on some hot guys sholder right now.
its so dumb!!! boys always go for bitchs!!! or maybe they just dont like ugly girls and i'm ugly. yeah i know you boys hate self consious girls but give me something to fucking be confidant about!!!! you never tell me im pretty, you tell my hair looks better straight then the way i like it, you dont tell me i look good in a bathing suit you tell me the print makes me look like a cow. stop bitching that i have no self confidance when NOT ONE PERSON ON THIS FUCKING PLANET GIVES ME ONE NOTION OF APPRECIATION OR TELLS ME I'M BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont even like anyone cause i know how unwanted i am, yes there are cute guys out there but right after i think about how cute they are i have to remember i have no chance with them.
i hate my life
and its your fault