Stuff. And LOTS of it. My mind is a veritable cesspool of thoughts and plans...
This first part is copypasted from MySpace...
For those of you who don't know, I am not moving to Florida in May. I am moving to Wichita, KS in May, maybe right after class. Why? So I can see if I can live with Michael and not end up ripping his face and dick off and feeding it to Crovax (His dog). If everything works well, I'll live there from anywhere between 2-12 months before moving to Boynton Beach, FL with him. So that'll be nice. He's coming in January for a few days and I might go back with him for a week or so. It all depends on if I have money. Some people owe me almost enough to pay for the plane ticket, so if I can collect it, I don't have to worry.
OH! I don't have to testify tomorrow!!! (which was today) Yay! BUT... I have to testify January 6th. The last day Michael's in town. Thankfully though, he said he'd come with and support me, so I guess it's for the better. The DA said I could have anyone I wanted there for support, even my asshole sexy hot insane internet boyfriend, apparently.
Okay, time for the note of clarification, then I'm done. Cause he's got Skype downloaded:
Alright, something you guys have to know and understand about me... Everyone has their arousal vices, right? Most people watch porn, some people do foreplay, etc. Right? And then some people have more... alternative methods of arousal, yes? Some people prefer being tied up, some prefer nipple clamps, some prefer cutting.
I prefer cutting. I don't cut cause I'm depressed. I cut cause it feels good and makes me happy. If you don't agree with it, too bad. It's who I am. I am an auto-masochist. I enjoy inflicting pain on myself. Which is why in public sometimes, I'll run my hand over my lighter flame. Cause if I cut myself in public, people will think I'm weirder than I already am, which is still a lot. Anyways, my point is don't worry if you see cuts. All it really means is that I got horny.
Alright, so time for even more things to talk about, not necessarily rant about.
Well, one thing I know for sure, is that I can't wait for a change. A move to Kansas will be just what I need. Some of you know I've been wanting to get out California for a few years. I have made plans such as I have done now, but those were just fanciful. Moving to Canada was close, I mean I put in applications at places in Winnipeg, but then my engagement ended, so I didn't move. But now, things seem to be going rather well. He's coming out here maybe even from Saturday to Wednesday, he'll know more by late December. I'm excited. I think we both need this. He wants out of Kansas, I want out of California. It works.
What's even better is that my mom (In Florida) said Michael could come with and so can Crovax!!! And once Michael and I get settled in our new state, then we'll eventually buy our own place. Florida is like in the middle of Kansas and California as far as rental prices go. For the condo Rob and I shared in La Costa area, it was $1450 or so a month. The 2 bedroom HOUSE that Michael lives in in Wichita is $575 a month. Ridiculous, eh? And Michael makes roughly $15 an hour, so that's not that bad. PLUS he said I'll probably be able to get a job as a waitress at a pizza place is friend is the disctrict manager for. So at least I'll have a job when I move there. And when I get to Florida, so at least I don't have to worry about that. My only major worry is whether or not Michael and I will be able to tolerate each oter in real life. I mean, we're good on teh interbutts, but real life is different. He thinks we will be. He strongly believes we'll be able to tolerate each other. I don't know HOW he's gonna be able to put up with me, but if he can, he should get an award or something.
I need to start taking me meds more, too. I had a real off dy yesterday. I was totally emotional. Could just be the fact that I have a combination of not taking my meds AND being on the rag. Fun, eh? Oh yeah, I need to email my psychiatrist, too! I need ADHD meds again. My concentration is totally shot. Which is why I'm doing so poorly in class I think. Gah, if I'm ever not on ANY medications, I'd feel bad for Michael.
For those of you who don't know, I am not moving to Florida in May. I am moving to Wichita, KS in May, maybe right after class. Why? So I can see if I can live with Michael and not end up ripping his face and dick off and feeding it to Crovax (His dog). If everything works well, I'll live there from anywhere between 2-12 months before moving to Boynton Beach, FL with him. So that'll be nice. He's coming in January for a few days and I might go back with him for a week or so. It all depends on if I have money. Some people owe me almost enough to pay for the plane ticket, so if I can collect it, I don't have to worry.
OH! I don't have to testify tomorrow!!! (which was today) Yay! BUT... I have to testify January 6th. The last day Michael's in town. Thankfully though, he said he'd come with and support me, so I guess it's for the better. The DA said I could have anyone I wanted there for support, even my asshole sexy hot insane internet boyfriend, apparently.
Okay, time for the note of clarification, then I'm done. Cause he's got Skype downloaded:
Alright, something you guys have to know and understand about me... Everyone has their arousal vices, right? Most people watch porn, some people do foreplay, etc. Right? And then some people have more... alternative methods of arousal, yes? Some people prefer being tied up, some prefer nipple clamps, some prefer cutting.
I prefer cutting. I don't cut cause I'm depressed. I cut cause it feels good and makes me happy. If you don't agree with it, too bad. It's who I am. I am an auto-masochist. I enjoy inflicting pain on myself. Which is why in public sometimes, I'll run my hand over my lighter flame. Cause if I cut myself in public, people will think I'm weirder than I already am, which is still a lot. Anyways, my point is don't worry if you see cuts. All it really means is that I got horny.
Alright, so time for even more things to talk about, not necessarily rant about.
Well, one thing I know for sure, is that I can't wait for a change. A move to Kansas will be just what I need. Some of you know I've been wanting to get out California for a few years. I have made plans such as I have done now, but those were just fanciful. Moving to Canada was close, I mean I put in applications at places in Winnipeg, but then my engagement ended, so I didn't move. But now, things seem to be going rather well. He's coming out here maybe even from Saturday to Wednesday, he'll know more by late December. I'm excited. I think we both need this. He wants out of Kansas, I want out of California. It works.
What's even better is that my mom (In Florida) said Michael could come with and so can Crovax!!! And once Michael and I get settled in our new state, then we'll eventually buy our own place. Florida is like in the middle of Kansas and California as far as rental prices go. For the condo Rob and I shared in La Costa area, it was $1450 or so a month. The 2 bedroom HOUSE that Michael lives in in Wichita is $575 a month. Ridiculous, eh? And Michael makes roughly $15 an hour, so that's not that bad. PLUS he said I'll probably be able to get a job as a waitress at a pizza place is friend is the disctrict manager for. So at least I'll have a job when I move there. And when I get to Florida, so at least I don't have to worry about that. My only major worry is whether or not Michael and I will be able to tolerate each oter in real life. I mean, we're good on teh interbutts, but real life is different. He thinks we will be. He strongly believes we'll be able to tolerate each other. I don't know HOW he's gonna be able to put up with me, but if he can, he should get an award or something.
I need to start taking me meds more, too. I had a real off dy yesterday. I was totally emotional. Could just be the fact that I have a combination of not taking my meds AND being on the rag. Fun, eh? Oh yeah, I need to email my psychiatrist, too! I need ADHD meds again. My concentration is totally shot. Which is why I'm doing so poorly in class I think. Gah, if I'm ever not on ANY medications, I'd feel bad for Michael.