bad employee

[unrestful]

they didn't fire me. i wish they had. instead, they called me: inconsiderate. disrespectful. if i want to stay in this industry, i need to change my actions. that's what they said. but they're letting me go to europe (not that there was a choice for them in that matter), and are paying me one week vacation. if this nyu thing doesn't work out, i am finding a job when i get back from europe. anything other than this. i mean it. if they respected me and all the work i do, they'd pay me more, and give me my insurance upon starting work there. if they respected me, they'd thank me more and give me a raise because i could qualify for low income housing if i tried to. instead, i live off barely nothing, never buy new things, and manage to get by.
shit. i'm living my life for myself, not other people. i don't owe anyone anything. i owe myself more than i'm giving myself at the moment. i owe it to myself to find a better job, go back to school, and enjoy life. i owe myself a proper living.
this next month of working is going to be very, very difficult.